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Piering’s Senate Top Ten

Outgoing Senator Toby Piering had an apropos top ten list which he read at the 5/30 transitional Student Senate meeting. I asked him for a copy and he helpfully obliged, asking only that I spell check it before posting. So, here’s Piering’s “top ten reasons why my experience this year in the ASUO Student
Senate has been such a joke”:

10. Someone thought it was imperative to tell us every night about a group’s budget, fundraising, and non-event revenue just to release their food holding for 30 dollars worth of pizza.
9. The highlight of my night (along with many other Senators) was trying to predict what time the meeting would end.
8. Actually… the real highlight of the night was the beer that came after the meeting was over.
7. The majority of Senators would vote “yes” on something because they didn’t want to make anyone mad…
6. Like your Daddy’s wallet, the Student Senate always had more money for those groups who overspent, contracted out speakers without paying them, or transferred out thousands of dollars to whatever they felt like.
5. Viewpoint neutrality means having a good spot at the middle of the table to look you friend in the eye when you fully fund their group’s surplus request.
4. We tried to do what the United States, United Nations, and the rest of the world couldn’t… stop Iran from building nuclear weapons.
3. The discussion about what bar to go after the meetings was longer than the one to approve a $20,000 concert.
2. We would rather walk out of a meeting to avoid a discussion than take it off the agenda.

And the number one reason why my experience this year in the ASUO Student Senate has been such a joke…

1. All this…and it is only student government

I leave you with this:

“The reason student politics are so vicious is precisely because the
stakes are so small.” – Winston Churchill

  1. Toby says:

    Its Kissenger and usnivesity to be precise, my bad

  2. Heath says:

    I believe it’s actually Kissinger rather than Churchill and university/academic rather than student.

  3. Hoho says:

    I’d only date a Student Senator if they promised not to debate my special requests, if you know what I mean.

  4. Haha says:

    Are you two gonna date now?

  5. Toby says:

    Thanks Gaberielle, I see what you are talking about. At least I know for next time how to properly make a list…thanks to the Oregon Voice it appears…good thing the OC passed along this useful knowledge.

    And….Viva la Adam Walsh

  6. Gabrielle says:

    And sorry for not being more clear in my reference. I fell prey to the temptation to use obscure references.

  7. Gabrielle says:

    the issue is here

  8. Toby says:

    is the issue online?

  9. Toby says:

    Ok, sorry, my bad. 🙂 Didn’t know I had the opportunity to grace OC paper this month.

  10. Gabrielle says:

    Toby:
    Read the new issue! I was referencing page 16.

  11. Toby says:

    and to Andy, thanks 🙂

  12. Toby says:

    first off they are not rules, second, how can I forget to guess the ending time of the meeting when I start the time sheet, and lastly, you say I am not viewpoint nuetral? hahahaha, that is hillarious, I come far closer than just about everyone that sits at that table. lol

  13. Gabrielle says:

    That is a fantastic piece of work! But I think he forgot rules number 5 and 9, at least.

  14. Miles Rost says:

    Yeah, that’s about right.

  15. Andy says:

    Toby, you rock man!!

  16. Meghann says:

    At least they have their priorities straight.

  17. Matt P. says:

    “3. The discussion about what bar to go after the meetings was longer than the one to approve a $20,000 concert.”

    My personal favorite. So hilarious.

  18. Amy H says:

    This is great.

  19. Meghann says:

    haha

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