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ASUO Senate-land 11/9/06 edition

It’s time again for a look at the topsy-turvy alternate reality which exists every Wednesday at 7pm in the EMU Boardroom. Some call it the ASUO Senate, we call it the only reason to get up in the morning. Here’s another dose of the madness…

Con Court Nominee Steps Down
I actually assumed that the Emerald would cover this, and so I didn’t take notes on it… Apparently, the newest nominee for Con Court has stepped down, after being “turned off by what he saw at the Senate meeting.” President Axelrod read the letter of resignation aloud to the senate, before introducing his nominees for Senate seats 11 and 13.

Senate Reaches Full Strength
Two nominees, two appointments, and the Senate is at full strength and only 7 weeks into the year. Both nominees seem quite well qualified… for the job. Again, I expected ‘Ol Dirty to pick up my slack, so I didn’t get spelling on their names… We’ll fill you all in next week, and I promise we will get their names right when we savage them for their first gaffes.

Senate Bill 9: Senate Dress Code
Introduced by Sen. McKenzie with the words “let’s not discuss this, I’m just going to read it and then we’re going to pass it,” Senate Bill 9 would have instituted a business casual dress code for Senators. He then went on to list the approved fabrics and styles for clothes fitting the definition of business casual. Acknowledging the strictness of the measure, Sen. McKenzie spoke of the need for more professionalism on Senate, but was nearly drowned out by the giggling, chatting, texting, and snacking that is the soundtrack of typical Senate meetings. Senator Rosenberg opposed the measure, recounting his experience running into non-business casual attired congresspeople in the halls of congress while foiling an international terrorist plot to bomb the Capitol (or something.) Sen. Lleras made the requisite gesture to Political Correctness, by suggesting that a business casual dress code would run counter to diversity efforts due to it’s inflexibility regarding gender roles. “We can’t be counteracting the movement to accept everyone,” said Lleras. The bill was eventually tabled due to Sen. McKenzies strict definition of business casual… while the idea is certainly a good one, we suggest a slightly more relaxed measure, which has loopholes allowing Sudsy T-shirts to be worn in Senate.

Overrealized Funds Ad Hoc Committee
Ever want to just go crazy and blow $800,000 on something? Now you can! The Senate discussed the formation of an Ad Hoc, or “Steering” Committee to create and review proposals for spending the ASUO’s mammoth surplus fund. According to Senator Hamilton, there was pressure from Johnson Hall to spend the shit out of this money, because apparently the State could just “sweep it up” any time it wants to, despite the fact that it is not “tax revenue.” And what better way to start deciding how to spend a big pile of other peoples money, than with an artificial sense of urgency? On the brighter side, the committee will probably have between 9 and 13 Senators and about an equal number of students, who will most likely get a vote on what proposals come out of committee. This is an extremely important step for the Senate, which seems to understand that this money is not theirs, and that a great deal of backlash would result if the funds were spent wastefully, or without student involvement. Goals have been set based on the points that the money should be spent on a project, the project should have a “positive, lasting impact,” and it should benefit the majority of students. Sen. Kosassa has come out of nowhere to take the lead on several of the important issues surrounding this committee. He advocated a freeze or reduction in future incidental fees, stating that a “benefit to all students” rather than simply “benefit to a majority” should be an explicit goal of the project, and even suggested that Senators on the Ad Hoc Committee abstain from voting, leaving the decision entirely in the hands of students, untill a proposal could be voted on by the full Senate. Sen Kosassa truly understands what is at stake here, and the Senate would be well advised to heed his intincts toward increased democratization of this process both in the process itself and in its outcome. Guidelines for the committee will be negotiated at next weeks Senate meeting.

Briefly
Electronic ticketing for athletic events is showing promise, and will be explored in a meeting on Monday… In the great nanny-state tradition, the EMU board is considering banning trans-fat from the EMU, a move which could lead to an “orange chicken black market”… Senator Hamilton was forced to remind Senators that food is no longer allowed at meetings, drawing at least one world-weary sigh… Rules committee “has to discuss” sending bills to Con Court for review, as this has not happened yet… Senator Gulley provided a laugh by asking if “we could just get a Con Court Justice on the phone” to initiate a review of the Senates proportional representation. Apparently Con Court only works with the written word, prompting Gulley to ask if the senate could just text the request (I kid)…

  1. Wowza says:

    What? His response was unprofessional and based on his five minutes of being in Senate during our most contentious meeting of the year. Axelrod never should have read it outloud anyhow.

  2. Doomscheissah says:

    Who resigned?

  3. Niedermeyer says:

    Nope, sorry… LGBTQA is all booked up fighting the evils of business causual fascism. Frankly, I’ve worn enough ties to consider joining them, if for somewhat different motivations.

    The email of resignation was chock-full of funny stuff, but Axelrod skipped out before I got a copy… I’m emailing him to see if we can get a copy on the blog. Frankly, it was the reasonable, considered response of a reasonable person dragged into the ASUO madhouse.

    Also, the process for appointing students to the Ad Hoc Committee will be determined next week, and I encourage people with some free time and a commitment to fairness and responsibility to apply for positions. This is the critical issue on the ASUO agenda this year, and it behooves us to ensure a just and equitable outcome.

  4. Ian says:

    Also, good post Ted. A few comments:

    Apparently, the newest nominee for Con Court has stepped down, after being

  5. Ian says:

    All I know is that if the word “Hellmuth” is anywhere on her birth certificate, both parents deserve a severe slapping.

  6. Niedermeyer says:

    Nah, that would be oppressive… man.

    Incidentally, our own gambling columnist, Dustin Stockton takes the ultimate gamble today, as his baby daughter is being born as we speak. Congrats Dustin, just please make “Doyle” her middle name, not her first.

  7. Timothy says:

    How about banning hippies and fat people from the EMU instead? That’d be an improvement right there.

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