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Archive for June, 2007

Rosie seeks to host “Price is Right”; apocalypse nigh

June 19th, 2007 by CJ Ciaramella

Bob Barker recently retired from his more than 35 year post as host of “The Price is Right”, and now CBS is looking to fill those venerable shoes. But who could possibly capture that Barker magic? Who could command such impeccable style and grace, such suave and level-headed demeanor? Well, Rosie O’Donnell would like a crack at it.

In other news, the moon recently turned to blood, and the sun was darkened. The bowls of God’s wrath were poured upon the earth, and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

And just like that, it all went away…

June 14th, 2007 by Niedermeyer

At the bottom of the Emeralds refreshingly feisty coverage of last night’s fiasco business as usual, there is one tiny little paragraph which changes everything. It goes a little something like this:

No one took minutes during the meeting, a violation of the Oregon Public Meetings Law and Student Senate rules as laid out in the Green Tape Notebook. Gulley and SunOwen also ignored part of Hatch’s presentation to watch a slideshow of photos on SunOwen’s computer.

Says it all, doesn’t it? In short, the entire meeting will be ruled invalid, and good riddance. Now that we all know how the game is to be played, there’s no need for niceties. The executive clearly would rather have reliable votes than experienced candidates, and in doing so is ignoring the undeniable mandate for reform in the last election. New senators need to have real experience to be able to give students the reform the have asked for, and the sitting senators shouldn’t be ashamed to make demands.

This was a great introduction to the ASUO, because the usual absolute bullshit went down, but this time we’ve been given an opportunity to set it right. Like everyone’s hero says, “Fool me once…” Finally, credit has to go to Jill Aho of the ODE… best single paragraph in the ODE ever.

Temporary Obelisk Fully Erected for Summer

June 14th, 2007 by Ossie

Giant Phallus Some people are calling the new obelisk a
phallic object. For those that don’t know
what phallic means, the dictionary states,
“An image of the male sex organ, especially
as used as a sign of sexual power.”

I don’t see it.

Thanks to Joe Kadera for the photo.

IM IN UR BLOG POST MAKING ARCHITECTURAL HISTORY/LOL JOKEZ! LOLZ!

“I am disappointed in the process”

June 13th, 2007 by Ossie

The executive appointee for Senate Seat #2, Diego Hernandez, the first executive appointee on tonight’s senate agenda, did not pass with a vote of 6 to 3 – that is, the first time around. The next three appointees – Billy Hatch (seat 5), Steven Wilsey (seat 12) and Patrick Boye (seat 1) – were all voted into the Senate and took their seats around the table. (more…)

Jeepers Creepers

June 13th, 2007 by Sean Jin

Rumor has it that I am being stalked!

Scary, to say the least. But I will not cower in the face of creepiness! I stand strong, unafraid, and prepared for whatever the stalkers have to bring.

Hah.

Spawns of Coulter

June 13th, 2007 by Ossie

“Of Ann Coulter, Ashley says, ‘She’s someone I would read and admire, and I think she’s correct on most fronts, but I don’t think a whole country of Ann Coulters would be a good idea.'” That is Ashley Delp, president of the UO Network of Enlightened Women (NeW), which “serves as part book club and part activist group for right-leaning women,” in an article in the last Voice of the school year. I have had nightmares about an all-Coulter nation every night since I read this.

NeW calls themselves feminists, “though hesitantly,” opposes abortion, opposes the Vagina Monologues and thinks the radical feminists “took a good thing and ruined it.” I’ll give you abortion, but calling the women’s suffragist movement a good thing is too radical for me. What really grinds my gears about the article was this quote by Holly York, “Chivalry being dead is a disappointment and a bad reflection on society.” Pardon me Miss York, you are cordially invited to come to EMU 319; I’ll show you that chivalry ain’t dead.

Coos Bay man arrested for fatal hit-and-run

June 12th, 2007 by Ossie

An over three month investigation has led to the arrest of 23-year-old Aaron Vernon Heyer of Coos Bay, who was booked yesterday on a felony charge (Failure to Perform Duties of Driver to Injured Persons) for a March 4 hit-and-run at the corner of 15th and Hilyard that killed 22-year-old University student Brian Sanford Reams.

The suspect vehicle was “quickly identified” by investigators. A press report says the car, a Cadillac sedan, was driven to Eugene by one in a group of friends that came to hang out for the weekend. Heyer, through his attorney, agreed to come to Eugene yesterday afternoon to meet with primary investigator, Officer Ben Hall, and was then arrested.

UPDATE: The ODE picked this up and put a story online, although there is not more information being given out.

Beavs and Blazes

June 12th, 2007 by Ossie

Our friendly redneck frat boys up in Corvallis are making a run to be defend their College World Series Championship. The Oregon State baseball team finished the Michigan Wolverines off yesterday with an impressive 8-2 win, after beating the Wolverines 1-0 on Sunday. It will be the third straight appearence in Omaha for the Beavs, and this one is the most surprising. They lost almost all their starters from a year ago and finished sixth in the Pac-10, but played some gutsy ball down the stretch and have a heap of momentum going into saturdays game against Cal State Fullerton, 4 p.m.

On to Rip City, the front feature on espn.com today is on the Trail Blazers miraculous 1976-77 NBA Championship, calling it a “miracle, born, like Gaia, spontaneously, from nowhere, from utter chaos.” The Rip City Revival is in the midst, so brush up on your Blazer trivia so you avoid being labeled as a bandwagoneer as the Blazers set their eyes on a championship within a few years. The youthful Blazers will hopefully have the same blitzing offense as the 77 team. “We cut folks up, backdoored ’em, ran ’em, fundamentaled ’em to death,” said Johnny Davis. You have to respect some good ol’ backdooring.

Remnants from the Hate Issue

June 11th, 2007 by Sean Jin

I wish I had thought of this a couple weeks ago, this would definitely have been a full piece if I had given it enough time. Maybe I’m just ranting off stress from finals.

I hate incompetent people. People that can’t or don’t read signs, people that can’t figure out how to save a damn document on Microsoft Word, people that wiggle a mouse in hopes that it will make a computer work faster, or anybody that can’t figure out simple common tasks. I wonder how these people survive sometimes.
Take, for example, today. At work, our lab happened to run out of printer at the most opportune time: Monday of Finals week. People are printing out their final papers, notes, and they start coming up blank and faded. When I got to work, there had already been three (THREE!!!) signs placed on or near the printer area saying DO NOT PRINT HERE, SEND PRINT JOBS TO REFERENCE. And yet, people still printed, and started complaining about their faded print jobs. Sorry bud, can’t help you, you’re too DAMN STUPID or OBLIVIOUS to read a sign. Out of the last sliver of benevolence left in me, I put one more ON the print monitor that allows people to select their print jobs. Soon thereafter, I saw someone go up, LIFT UP the sign, and PRINT again. I am surprised that these people haven’t died in a revolving door or in an accident with a kitchen sink.

Tell me, if the toilet had a sign that said “Do not flush” would anyone flush it? What about “Do not park”? Would you park there? How about “Danger, cliff”? That looks good, I think I’ll walk off. I rest my case.

Hey Prof, Learn to Teach!

June 11th, 2007 by Ossie

It is fair to say that teaching undergraduate students is not a top priority for most professors or administrators at the University. I am consistently baffled at the poor teaching skills that I, and everyone else, run into in the university system. You would think that an entity supporting higher education would attempt to better the educating process of the fee-paying students. What we often get for our money, however, are intelligent professors who are too rapt up in their own research to really give a damn about being benevolent teachers. (more…)

The Oregon Commentator: 11th in influence, number one in our hearts

June 9th, 2007 by CJ Ciaramella

Ever wonder how far you can coast on charm? Well, according to blognetnews.com and their patented “Oregon Influence Index”, the OC is the 11th most influential political blog in Oregon. I think that calls for a golf clap! The left-leaning Loaded Orygun (bad name, better content) took top honors.

Of course, you may wonder how one manages to quantify an abstract quality like “influence.” I have no clue, and the folks at blognetnews.com aren’t spilling the beans. As they explain on their site, “The exact method BNN uses to calculate influence scores must remain proprietary in order to prevent attempts to game the system.” Damn, now I’ll never be able to hack my Bill Bradbury fanfic blog to the top of the list!

UPDATE: We’re up to 9th on the chart now – a change of two places in a little over an hour. Hmm, maybe the BNN’s methods for determining influence has something to do with how many times you link to them.

Like Deb Frisch? You’ll Love This…

June 8th, 2007 by Niedermeyer

Sometimes reality is so insane that simply reporting facts makes you complicit in the lunacy. Some events are so unbelieveable that even a picture won’t suffice. Sometimes, the only way to really understand something is through comics. With that, I’m proud to present “Deb and Jeb’s Goodtime Revival Throwdown.” (more…)

Quote of the (yester)day

June 8th, 2007 by Sean Jin

(At Ted, wearing a Sudsy shirt)“Oh, you’re from the Commentator! That shirt, it makes you look real clever. Are you Niedermeyer?”

-Deb Frisch haunting the campus

Andrea got a great picture of me posing with her. I did not know who DF is, until I heard her harsh voice screaming Kumbaya towards Brother Jed. The best moment of the day was when four students, including myself, physically blocked her off from Brother Jed so that we could listen to what he was saying. The fact that we chose offensive and unbelievable Brother Jed speaks something of the vileness of Deb Frisch. Turns out she’s an internet celebrity, one of those infamous ones. I feel tainted and defiledhonored to have been graced by her presence, and also to have bore witness to her being thrown out of the little circle of people by an civvie-clothed EPD officer after things got too heated between Jed and Deb.

You have to break a few eggs to make an omelette

June 7th, 2007 by CJ Ciaramella

Scientists recently discovered how to revert the skin cells of a mouse back into embryonic stem cells – a breakthrough that they are hopeful will someday be applicable to humans as well; this discovery is also significant because it avoids the ethical minefield of using fertilized embryos.

The process that the scientists used is actually really interesting: They inserted a specially modified virus into a mouse skin cell. The virus activated four dormant genes in the cell’s DNA, turning it into an embryonic stem cell. All cells contain the genetic information to turn themselves back into stem cells, so theoretically, all one would have to do to make this workable for humans is identify the genes and create a similar virus.

Coincidently, the scientists released their findings just as Congress was set to vote on easing restrictions on stem cell research. Opponents of current stem cell research were no doubt happy with the news, but scientists warned that applying these new techniques to humans could be years away. The research team also urged Congress to expand federal funding for stem cell research, which it did, passing the bill by a House vote of 247-146.

All is not well, though. President Bush, a really scientifical kind of guy, has vowed to veto the bill, saying it “crosses a moral line.” Congress doesn’t have the votes to overturn the veto. It’s kind of ironic that these new techniques to create stem cells, which pro-lifers are going to use as ammunition against the bill, probably wouldn’t have been possible without all the previous research done with fertilized embryos. That’s the pro-life movement for you, though. Scientific method? Bah!

Admirable Brother Jed

June 7th, 2007 by Sean Jin

Our campus has been graced by the presence of the controversial George Smock, better known as ‘Brother Jed’. I saw him the first time last year, along with two other ‘open-air preachers’ or ‘confrontational evangelists’. Having listened to him and his colleagues the first time around, I wasn’t surprised by what he had to say this time.

Most of the time that I’m listening to him, I’m actually laughing and yelling back retorts along with the rest of the crowd. Brother Jed’s arguments rarely make sense, but that’s what he goes for: shock value. He gets people to listen, because when they’re walking by the Amphitheater and they hear “You Michael Jackson sissy men are EMASUCULATEDDDDD”, they can’t help but stop and listen. I don’t know what he hopes to accomplish by putting on such a show.

There is one thing, and one thing only that I admire about Brother Jed. His opinions, ideas, and antics are offensive and ridiculous. But he is motivated, focused, and dedicated to his cause. To be able to speak up alone against a crowd of such opposition and animosity takes bravery, or perhaps the blessing of God. Despite the guaranteed heckling and negative attention he receives from the UO and other campuses, he drives on. He makes our retorts and incoherent arguments against him seem weak and cowardly. Even in the Amphitheater, when Survival Center wackos are emulating his antics and echoing his words in a mocking manner, Brother Jed maintains his composure and sticks to the program.

He’s kind of like Mel Gibson: He puts on a great presentation. Too bad he is an prick.