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Suicide Animals

So, as I sit here, watching the last 2 and a half hours of my teenage years ago by, I had a thought regarding Islamic extremist suicide bombers. My brother had told me earlier today about how the ancient Chinese military used oxen with explosives strapped to them as the first, primitive weapons delivery vehicles. Unfortunately for the oxen, they were used only once.

The oxen idea got me thinking…how long will it be before Islamic suicide bombers think…”Wait a minute! We don’t have to do this! We’ll get something like goats…or PIGS! Yeah, we hate pigs anyways, we’ll send them to blow up the infidels.” I’m surprised they haven’t figured it out yet. Hopefully they don’t find this blog and take my invention.

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  4. Timothy says:

    Retirement home? Nah, the grandkids just keep me chained up out back. I have free access to water and kibble, though, so it’s cool.

  5. niedermeyer says:

    I love visiting the retirement home… great chance to catch up with the alums.

  6. N. Brown says:

    I will be happy to join the circus act on the 28th. I can walk a tightrope like none other…

  7. Timothy says:

    As long as there aren’t clowns I’ll consider making the trip. Hates clowns does I.

  8. Ossie says:

    Also, there will be a release party for BTTB on the East Lawn of the EMU on the 28th from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. There will be music, lawn games and possibly a circus act depending on how many of the ASUO representatives show up. The OC is also seeking clearance to provide a tub full of acid-laced kool aid…but no promises.

  9. Ossie says:

    On a Sunday? I don’t think so. The OC staff will be attending an all-day church pot luck before heading off to a local retirement home for some some gin rummy and waltzing.
    BTTB is scheduled to come out Sept. 28, which will be followed by The Man Issue to be released Oct. 17 or 18.

  10. Timothy says:

    I would hope BTTB would be coming out Sept 30 then.

  11. Ossie says:

    Patience is a virtue. And procrastination is a bitch. The summer issue will be released on September 14.

  12. Sean says:

    Summer issue coming out soon…Ossie?

  13. T says:

    This is all very interesting and everything, but do you guys have a new issue coming out anytime soon?

  14. SeattlePublicMarket says:

    Check out this new piece of propaganda on YouTube:

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