It’s Halloween – the most riot-tastic time o’ the year in Eugene! Unfortunately, some people are trying to poop on everyone’s party:
Here at Oregon, numerous events are posted on Facebook and many more are flying under the radar. Drunken revelry is a definite for this Halloween weekend. In order to stay out of trouble, the ODE advises you to consider the choices you’re making this weekend.
We, too, advise you to consider the choices you’re making. Here’s a couple of tips to make sure you have a safe and happy holiday:
- Remember, don’t pick up the tear gas canisters with your hands. They are hot. Instead, kick them back at the police officers.
- Dumpsters, when lit on fire, are a great source of warmth and merriment for you and your friends.
- Cops only have as much authority as you let them have. You gotta fight the power, man!
- If a house party won’t let anymore people in, it just means they’re trying to hog all the young ladies and booze for themselves. Enter that party by any means necessary.
- Ladies: thanks to the wonders of the free market, you now have a wide array of costumes to choose from, such as Slutty Nurse, Slutty Witch, Slutty Devil, Slutty French Maid, Slutty Angel, Slutty Pirate, Slutty Slut and Sarah Palin. Choose carefully; you wouldn’t want people to get the wrong impression.
- Try and find large mobs of people to travel with. Safety in numbers!
- That dude did just talk shit to you. I heard him, bro. You better shove a broken beer bottle in his throat.