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Bristol’s Baby Born

The only thing I love more than a good alliteration is the fact that Sarah Palin is now officially a GILF!

According to Yahoo! News, Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston was born yesterday, weighing in at 7 lb 4 oz. To date, Bristol and Levi have yet to tie the knot, so this 18-year-old, republican MILF is still available–rumor is she puts out.

Sarah Palin isn’t the only amazing grandparent young Tripp will have as an influence; Grandma Johnston seems to have a surprising life of her own. I think we can all look forward to seeing what the little town of Wasilla has in store for us in the next 18 years. Thanks to the Anchorage Daily News for this gem.

  1. Chris says:

    I LOVE the posting….and I love the insanity that follows even more. Hilarious!

  2. Timothy says:

    DAMN YOU CJ! DAMN YOU TO HELL! WHERE IS MY CUT?

  3. Vincent says:

    Timothy:

    Yes. Unfortunately, CJ’s a total whore and was “persuaded” to sell the site for like… $15.

  4. Jo says:

    Wow. Who knew people cared so much about Bristol Palin’s baby? Of all the mean things you guys have ever said, THIS is what people get angry about? Good grief. It may be way too early for me to be awake, but at least I got a good laugh out of this.

  5. Timothy says:

    Did Perez Hilton buy the OC site while I wasn’t looking?

  6. fregger says:

    Some reports say he was born Sunday, others Saturday — in either case, on a day with few people in the hospital — allegedly at 5:30 a.m. Neither the hospital nor Palin’s office will confirm it. Obviously, no real reporting on this, just repetition of announcements made by the family — the grandmother’s sister! No medical reports again, or any evidence — how do we know it is even hers, and that she didn’t just adopt it?

  7. Jackson says:

    AHahhaha!

    Hey Cbiggie, what’s your take on Kate Jones taking over the Senate?

  8. Gsim says:

    You calling my grandpa a liar or are you hiding a swinging dick somewhere?

  9. Michelle Haley says:

    I definitely don’t hate Sarah Palin, I just thought the circumstances (Tripp’s birth, and the arrest) happening within the same week warranted a post.

    Also, cbiggie, I think we all know that I do put out.

  10. Gsim says:

    Palin’s (and the national interest in her daughter) treatment brings to mind a saying that has been passed down in my family.

    My great grandfather told it to my grandfather and he told my father who then shared it with me. Someday, I will tell it to my children:

    All women hate each other. Even when they are friends.

  11. Ossie says:

    By the way, CJ, save that for the hate-kus.

  12. Ossie says:

    What server did this get picked up on? This is almost as hilarious as when my “mormon media” headline got picked up. Don’t you people have homes? right after you discover the cancerous growth you call a brain What the fuck is wrong with you?

    I

  13. CJ Ciaramella says:

    Wow, looks like not everyone can handle the rough chuckles you’re working there, Michelle.

    Achieving MILF-ness
    Bristol Palin delivers
    Postpartum delight

  14. Scott says:

    Well, apparently this post caught the attention of the wider world web.

    What is this cbiggie character going on and on about? I’d say he’s/she’s angry about something but I’m not sure…there seems to be a lot of inane and innocuous words in their post.

  15. cbiggie says:

    I’m to believe this is a conservative humor site… mmkay. Anywho…

    Are you married? How many kids do you have? Do you take them to work with you? Have you ever had the honor of having humor/entertainment/sex columns written about you or your mother? Did they discuss whether your mom had you, if incest was involved, if your daughter was a slut, did they look through your garbage, send lawyers and quizzed all that knew you/her in your sphere of life or influence? Did they ignore all you/mom had done and call you an idiot? Do you/mom put out… word is, you do.

    Gee, plenty of teens just gave birth where I live, and a lot of the dad’s were drug dealers and some of the mom’s or dad’s were drug users. Oh, and I live in a very blue state… so that would make her, mainstream? Let’s see, Palin was a woman… other women tore her down, she did the house and gov’t thing, feminists tore her down (but what the heck, they don’t say anything about sex slavery, women being beaten/stoned/hung, schoolgirls getting acid sprayed in their faces, clipping parts of their sex or honor killings worldwide and now occuring in the US), they whined about her clothes (yet if she had looked like a hick they would be overjoyed and taunted her to get ‘with it’ clothes). First they tore down Hillary (whom I can’t stand btw, still wrong). I’ve never witnessed such a lack of self esteem, jealousy and women who should be secure in their feminism, loosing it… ever. So I guess it’s all about abortion and rutting to be honorary males (that would be a good humor column, but it’s yours, not mine).

    Did you chant and woop alongside ‘the elite conservatives’, Obama, Matthews, Olby, Brazile and others as they downed women as well?

    Put down the cats, go outside, visit other neighborhoods other than your circuit, learn about life, get one… then get laid.

    There, you’ve had your attention.
    You’re welcome.

    I don’t see anything on all the girl school killings/bombings re: Afghanistan on the site
    Is that too harsh for humor?
    Education bailout, STAT.

  16. Ruth says:

    Your snotty comments are uncalled for! Shame on you!

  17. Dean Norris says:

    Your pitifully juvenile comment lends little creedence to the supposed liberal culture of kindness and tolerance. You drip hate and, of course will fend off those pointing this out.

    I hope you have a truly happy New Year, right after you discover the cancerous growth you call a brain.

  18. JoeC says:

    You are disgusting.

  19. Bobbysox2 says:

    What a snarky article for a joyous event. I say, congratulations Bristol and Levi.

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