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Oregon to Ban Novelty Lighters In Swell Use of Taxpayer Time, Money

The state of Oregon is going to ban the sale of novelty lighters. That’s right, no more lighters shaped like genitalia, pistols or nekkid ladies.

And my friends ask me how I can be so completely anti-government. Sheesh.

  1. […] in case you had any faith left in your state government, they’ve gone and done it again. House Bill 3008 aims to […]

  2. nike urbanism duk says:

    Banning these toys is almost as important as Vicki Walker’s save the pooches at the capitol bill. I think the skatepark scheme under the overpass is because they know the overpass will soon fail due to disrepair and they want to get rid of the downtown skater /mallrats for good. Later they will say it was an accident.

  3. Keyser Soze says:

    A quote from the Oregon State Fire Marshall Randy Simpson’s press release: “This is an exciting day for the fire service”

    I’m sure this bill will stop pyromaniac kids from using a cheap lighter to go out and burn crap. It just had to be all those novelty lighters that caused decent kids to commit an arson. I’m sure this bill will prevent a ton of heinous crimes and prevent injuries to hundreds, if not thousands of innocent victims.

    Talk about inefficiencies in government and wasted tax payer money. Small wonder Oregon is in freaking debt up to our gills. This bill is about as stupid as a city gov’t deciding to build a skatepark in the ghetto- oh wait, Eugene is going to spend $300,000 on a skatepark instead of diverting reserves monies to educational programs.

  4. Vincent says:

    Under the bill, novelty lighters with features attractive to children, including visual effects, flashing lights, musical sounds and toylike designs, are prohibited.

    Is this to prevent burns or some kind of stealth “you can’t market evil genocidal cancer sticks to infants” language?

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