Ducks basketball team worthless on and off the court
In a perfect cap to the UO men’s basketball team’s craptacular season, police discovered three freshmen players shooting ducks with pellet guns in Alton baker Park. From KATU:
Police cited Michael R. Dunigan, 19; Teondre Javon Williams, 19; and Cedric Josh Crittle, 19, on suspicion of violating park rules against discharging pellet guns and hunting in Eugene city parks.
All three are freshmen members of the University of Oregon basketball team. Dunigan is the 6-10 starting center for the Ducks; Williams is a 6-4 guard; and Crittle is a 6-8 forward.
The report doesn’t say if any ducks were maimed or killed. Presumably not, at least if the boys’ basketball skills are any indication of their aim.
But really, shooting ducks with pellet guns? Fuck those guys.
Correction, the trial is at 9:30 am tommorro at the lane county courthouse (circuit court). Perhaps when the arena revenue projections do not turn out and the losses continue Matt Court can be transformed to a 24 hour indoor elephant car wash venue complete with a laser light show and dancing trained circus bears. The competitive cheerleaders could also join in that spectacle.
Don’t knock the elephant car wash, Zach. That’s gettin’ onto some mighty thin ice, pilgrim.
In other weapon/Duck related news I believe the Tasered Duck faces a trial tommorro at our starchitect designed courthouse. Hope you guys cover that story. Mainstream media types will be too busy covering things like the elephant car wash I suppose.
What I loved was the Register Guard’s headline for it : “Police detain three UO athletes at gunpoint” as opposed to “Basketball players shoot ducks.”
” OMG WE HAVE A CODE 3 Situation!! Three black guys with guns!!”
I’m surprised they didn’t send in the APC.
One of the comments from the KATU page was pretty funny:
“looking at the Ducks record this season and these players points per game I am willing to say not very many ducks were hit.”
Also, I don’t think the projectile weapons they were employing would be traditionally consider pellet guns. Officers witnessed one of them shoot 20 BBs towards the pond. My Daisy Red Ryder certainly didn’t have that rate of fire, neither did my Crosman pump action pellet rifle.
10 to 1 odds that our UO athletes were armed with Airsoft guns and I don’t think a 6mm plastic BB is all that dangerous to anyone even ducks.
No one is asking if this was a innocent attempt to gather materials for fanatical fan outfits/ decorative headgear. If that is the case they should be awarded some special sports marketing creativity scholarship. Not really, these Ducks should be fried. Will this case actually go to court ? I bet the DA will find a way around that. A ESPN satellite truck in front of the new courthouse is more than the holy-O brand can bare. It will be interesting to read how the Emerald handles this. I predict the coverage they offer will be of the minimalist or understated variety. I am sure the now infamous board members are busy having their fluffy feathers ruffled at this very moment.
Three huge guys in Oregon gear shooting guns in public, of course they were going to get caught
It’s sort of the perfect symbolic imagery for the entire season, isn’t it?
Maybe they were hungry.