I almost keeled over from apoplectic rage today when I picked up the Ol’ Dirty. The top story is a profile on Nathan Ruddick, AKA The Phantom – that douchebag who flies through campus on his longboard doing lame tricks and nearly running into people. You’ve all seen him – board shorts, headphones, a look of faux concentration as he powerslides in front of you.

I’m really glad that the ODE decided the most important news of the day was the twat who annoys the living hell out of everyone. Coincidentally, OC contributor Justin Hurst wrote an article about The Phantom for last year’s Hate Issue. Here’s a snippet:

I did not think I could hate this felcher any more. That was until I saw him ride up on the crowded sidewalk, where he decided to powerslide right in front of a group of fine looking females. This caused them to shriek and jump back to avoid being taken out by the tail of his board. Not only does this fuckass dance around like a retard, but he decides that an empty street isn’t good enough for him, so goes out of his way to showcase his useless talents by pissing a bunch of people off who are only trying to make it to class without some nugget skidding in their path. He uses people on campus as obstacles in his imaginary longboard course, and if that doesn’t make someone a dick, I’m not sure what does. If he truly wanted to impress anybody he would ride a fucking skateboard and do a kickflip like any reasonable person who wanted to perform tricks on a board.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 6th, 2009 at 13:57 by CJ Ciaramella and is filed under Campus, Ol' Dirty Emerald, Stupid. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.