As Politico and The Huffington Post can attest, Delaware Senate Candidate Christine O’Donnell is nutters. Since a good campaign slogan is catchy and lets a voter make sense of the candidate’s views, I propose these new slogans for the O’Donnell campaign, as well as the quotes their based off of:
“It is not enough to be abstinent with other people, you also have to be abstinent alone. The Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery, so you can’t masturbate without lust.”/ “I’m a young woman in my thirties and I remain chaste.”
Christine O’Donnell for US Senate: If you get aroused, the terrorists win.
“I dabbled into witchcraft. I never joined a coven.” / “One of my first dates with a witch was on a satanic altar.”
Christine O’Donnell for US Senate: I will turn Chris Coons into a fucking toad!
“You know, these are the kind of cheap, underhanded, un-manly tactics that we’ve come to expect from Obama’s favorite Republican, Mike Castle… Mike, this is not a bake-off, get your man-pants on.”
Christine O’Donnell for US Senate: Mike Castle is a pansy.
God may choose to heal someone from cancer, yet that person still has a great deal of medical bills.
Christine O’Donnell for US Senate: Obamacare is a sin.
“During the primary, I heard the audible voice of God. He said, ‘Credibility.’”
Christine O’Donnell for US Senate: God tells me what I don’t have.
“American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains.”
Christine O’Donnell for US Senate: I am bat-shit crazy.