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Sock Puppet, attorney at law. Media digest Oct. 28, 2010

Public Affairs

  • Cellophane: Many people see the UO’s refusal to let people talk to its new legal honcho, or even know what he looks like, as a betrayal of the transparency UO cheese Richard Lariviere has promised. They’re reading the tea-leaves wrong. Here’s the truth: Randy Geller doesn’t actually exist. People don’t know this, but ex-UO cheese Dave Frohnmayer has an extensive and beloved collection of handmade sock puppets. He named his favorite Randy Geller, after pro-wrestler Randy Savage and spoon-bender Uri Geller, his two favorite celebrities*. He loved it so much he decided to appoint it to his General Counsel’s office. But two years ago, it tragically came apart in the wash. Frohnmayer was so attached to it, the UO administration agreed he couldn’t be allowed to know, so they have been pretending it still exists to preserve his feelings. The recent promotion was an attempt to perpetuate the ruse. UO officials believed nobody would notice. But it has all backfired in their faces and become a little embarrassing. Seriously, has anybody ever met Randy Geller? (KEZI)
  • Bacchanalia: The Eugene Police are readying their truncheons in case the combination of Halloween and Saturday’s Oregon Football/Hated Trojans match will produce a human tempest of epic proportions, but seem less apocalyptic in their demeanor than they were in the last such story. (Register-Guard)
  • Intersex: A professor hosted a talk about it this week. (Emerald)
  • ASUO: The ASUO confirmed one new senator meaningless title-holder and didn’t confirm another. (Emerald)
  • Gated Suburban Paranoia: The Emerald’s Mat Wolf visits a deserted squatter camp. (Emerald)

Opinion

Scene

Sports

  • The Hated Trojans’ wily fox of a defensive coordinator says Oregon Football’s offense has him stumped. (Register-Guard)
  • Oregon Rowing exists in a whirlwind of five-figure sums and early bedtimes. (Emerald)
  • Pac-10 conference coaches agree: the two key matchups in the Oregon Football/Hated Trojans game? Oregon Football offense/Hated Trojans defense and Oregon Football defense/Hated Trojans offense.
  • Oregon Basketball (M) has the highest graduation rate in its conference. “I’m positive about it,” lied an obviously very disappointed UO athletic honcho. Oregon Football and Oregon Running (M), though, are rock-bottom. (Register-Guard)
  • Oregon Running-Long-Distances (W) is trying to win a trophy. “I believe, with every ounce of my being, that those kids are truly interchangeable,” their coach said. (Register-Guard)
  • Here are some Pac-10 conference–related snippets. (Emerald)
  • Emerald sports word-fiddler Lucas Clark puzzles over a professional basketball team from Miami, Fla. (Emerald)

* You think I’m making this up? Ask him.**

** He will tell you I’m definitely making this up.

  1. nike urbanism duk says:

    I saw Francis at the hardware store recently. I think the real news story is how good ol UO Housing (now former) overlord Mike Eyster now steers the LTD clan’s “EMX WARS”. These epic transportation conflicts will be super sustainable (visioning,mediation,koolaid,etc). Eyster was the guy who built the vinyl slums called Spencerview.

  2. Jobetta says:

    I’m a former ODE reporter/editor and I never spoke with or saw Randy Gellar or Melinda Grier either, despite several attempts. I wasn’t even sure Melinda existed until she left the job and I saw a photograph.

    For that matter, I don’t believe Francis Dyke exists either. No amount of badgering her assistant ever got her to return a phone call.

  3. Lyzi Diamond says:

    Also — arming DPS — NOT A FUCKING ISSUE.

  4. Lyzi Diamond says:

    ASUO confirmed a Con Court justice, not a senator.

  5. CJ says:

    I never saw Randy Geller or Melinda Grier. I went into the general counsel office once and tried to speak to one of them. The secretary went into a dark and foreboding room, from which I heard much hissing and the black speech of Mordor, and then she returned and said they were busy.

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