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Springfield man protects neighborhood, hilarity ensues

A conscientious Springfield man, whilst trying to protect his neighborhood with his Second Amendment rights became somewhat somewhat less of a hero. when his AK-47 accidentally discharged and fired a shot into the bedroom of a nearby house, while a mother and children were there, no less.

If someone who is a “military veteran and a seasoned gun owner” can’t handle a little old ridiculously lethal, semi-automatic weapon, ordinary citizens like myself are in dire risk of losing our rights to keep a 50mm anti-aircraft gun underneath our pillows (For home defense, of course. You never know when a robber might try using a police helicopter!). While it’s probably for the best that no arrests were made, this incident is doomed to fly under the radar as yet another good example of our flawed Second Amendment. For each actual robber that is thwarted by some redneck brandishing the latest in killing technology, there are 50 guns that fire into houses with children in them (citation and research probably needed). Regardless, this case is sure to be forgotten by all but those directly involved in a few weeks because people are extremely forgiving of the liberties a bunch of entitled slave owners gave us.

  1. Jay Knott says:

    Spencer Madison says: “For each actual robber that is thwarted by some redneck brandishing the latest in killing technology, there are 50 guns that fire into houses with children in them.”

    There are two things wrong with this argument:
    1. It’s false
    2. It’s irrelevant

    1. A maniac killed 12 people in rural England this year. Because of general disarmament, no-one could stop him. If the same thing happened in rural America, he wouldn’t get far. A maniac killed several students at a liberal Virginia college, while the police cowered. Several years earlier, another maniac had tried the same at another Virginia college, with an armed student population (ROTC). He didn’t get far. I’ve lived in many places. My safety is directly proportional to the amount of gun ownership where I live.

    2. Self-defence is a right, so statistics about how well it is exercised, even if they conformed to what the author believes, are beside the point. Each individual has the right to defend herself, regardless of how well ‘rednecks’ have done so in the past.

  2. Spencer Madison says:

    Are people seriously missing that the evidence I gave was an exaggeration? I’m not (that) retarded.

  3. […] my distinguished colleague Spencer Madison pointed out, sometimes guns hurt people. Because of this, Madison seems to think that guns are bad. He […]

  4. Rockne Andrew Roll says:

    “liberties a bunch of entitled slave owners gave us.”

    This is completely non-germane and disingenuous. Any logical point you may have attempted to prove is completely nullified rhetorically by this little tidbit.

    “Did I strike a nerve or something? Sheesh.”

    You used one completely non-researched paragraph to argue against a fundamental right enshrined in the Constitution. Your reasoning for doing so is that people can’t be trusted. Not only is this patently statist, its not very smart.

  5. Josh M. says:

    Ummm…this is the most retarded thing I have ever read by anyone representing the Commentator (and that includes the bathroom wall at Rennie’s). Spencer, why are you writing for a rag that you so clearly disagree with at the most basic level?

  6. Betz says:

    Wait, this is the Commentator, right? For a second, I thought I stumbled into some obscure corner of the Emerald where I was reading an Eliot Glucinick article on “bass-akwards gun owners” or something ….

  7. Patrick says:

    LOL I do believe that a little “citation and research probably needed” since by the most conservative study I could find 80,000 people use firearms to defend themselves every year. That would be 4,000,000 homes with children in them, hit by bullets each year. I am pretty sure we’d be hearing about that in the news way more often if that were the case.

    I’m going to go out on a limb here, Spencer and guess you don’t have an unbiased perception of gun owners, do you. There are 80 million firearms owners in the US, I would hope that you wouldn’t let your prejudices allow you to stereotype them all.

  8. Lyzi Diamond says:

    I guess I can see that firing an AK-47 in a residential neighborhood is quite silly, but using the incident to claim that the Second Amendment is flawed without providing any sort of explanation feels cheap, sensationalist and wholeheartedly dumb. All of a sudden owning guns is restricted to “rednecks” and only has one purpose?

    First of all, find me a diplomat at the time of the framing of the Constitution who didn’t own slaves. Second of all, that document you’re regarding so flippantly is the same one that allows you the right to regard it publicly at all. Don’t take that lightly.

    I have two pieces of advice — one, read the Second Amendment before you write about it; and two, maybe re-evaluate the editorial stance of the publication you’re representing.

    The freedoms granted to the citizens of this country are NOT to be taken lightly. That’s when they get taken away.

  9. Spencer Madison says:

    The fake data was a satire of people who make ridiculous claims to back their arguments. Did I strike a nerve or something? Sheesh.

  10. Vincent says:

    This may be the most insipid thing that’s ever been posted on this blog, even taking into account my first Metal Mondays entry and everything Dane ever wrote.

    You might have a shot at the Ol’ Dirty, though. This is right up their alley, both in terms of content and quality.

  11. CJ says:

    “Regardless, this case is sure to be forgotten by all but those directly involved in a few weeks because people are extremely forgiving of the liberties a bunch of entitled slave owners gave us.”

    Is this a fucking joke or something? Are you seriously saying that (1) we are too forgiving of the liberties guaranteed to us by the Constitution, and (2) those liberties are somehow less legitimate because they were drafted by slave owners?

    How exactly is the Second Amendment flawed? I would really like to know your thoughts on this.

    And yeah, citations and research would really help, instead of, y’know, pulling numbers out of your ass.

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