Second and Third Round highlights from the Ted Kennedy Memorial United States Senate Beer Pong Tournament. For First Round Action, see below. For full Tournament rules, bracket, and results, see “The Holiday Issue” of the Oregon Commentator, available online to your right.

Western Division, Second Round

North Dakota vs. Alaska

Lisa Murkowski had a career performance as the young star almost single handedly knocked out North Dakota

South Dakota vs. Michigan

In a close game, the South Dakota boys pulled one out from Carl Levin and Michigan

Hawaii vs. Arizona

In a hard fought game, one of the better ones of the tournament thus far, Hawaii star Daniel Inouye’s experience helped knock out early favorite Arizona

Missouri vs. Wisconsin

Despite some great shots by Kit Bond, the pressures of tournament play proved too much for the Missouri livers, and Wisconsin advanced.

Minnesota vs. Utah

Robert Bennett and Orrin Hatch could only last so long. The Utah team withdrew from this match about halfway through to go puke in the backyard.

Kansas vs. Iowa

Chuck Grassley and Tom Harkin has another solid game as the rookie Kansas team, and young star Sam Brownback, were eliminated.

Eastern Division, Second Round

New York vs. Florida

In a dramatic upset, the rookie Florida team made cup after cup in rapid succession and stunned the New Yorkers, who must have felt like they were taking a beer bong instead of playing beer pong. Reports indicated that Chuck Schumer and Kirsten Gillibrand passed out shortly after the conclusion of this match.

Maine vs. New Hampshire

Though Judd Gregg made some vital shots to stop a downeastern blowout, New Hampshire was obviously outclassed by the powerful Maine team.

Georgia vs. Arkansas

In a close game, Blanche Lincoln and Arkansas bested Saxby Chambliss and Georgia with a couple of key shots late in the game. Ever the competitor, Chambliss began asking other eliminated teams if they were down for some flip cup.

Mississippi vs. Virginia

Despite a solid effort by Tom Cochran, Mark Warner and Jim Webb stormed to another victory.

Kentucky vs. Indiana

Mitch McConnell and Jim Bunning kept this one close, but their age showed through as the strong Indiana team pulled away late.

South Carolina vs. Alabama

Richard Shelby and Jeff Sessions sent another solid team packing as Jim DeMint and South Carolina couldn’t pull it out

Western Division, Third Round

Alaska vs. South Dakota

Tim Johnson and John Thune finally ran out of steam as the evening wore on, and Lisa Murkowski’s Alaska team pulled away late to secure another win

Hawaii vs. Wisconsin

Herb Kohl and Russ Feingold finally met their match as “The Daniels” put away another clutch win.

Minnesota vs. Iowa

Tom Harkin and Chuck Grassley had this one in the bag, but Al Frankin came back late and made crucial shots. After chugging two in a row, Harkin knocked over his team’s last cup, and what looked to be a crushing defeat for Minnesota turned into the biggest upset of the tournament.

Eastern Division, Third Round

Florida vs. Maine

The Cinderella story finally came to an end for Florida. Compared to the obviously plastered boys from the Sunshine State, Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe looked positively sober. This game was never in question.

Virginia vs. Arkansas

Blanche Lincoln put up another solid game, but the powerhouse Virginia team was simply too much to take on.

Indians vs. Alabama

This was one of the closest games of the entire tournament. The result was anyone’s guess until Dick Lugar nimbly pulled a still spinning ball, thrown by Richard Shelby, out of Indiana’s third from last cup. The Indiana boys sealed it by making back-to-back shots on Alabama’s last two cups, and a heretofore dominant Alabama team was dismissed.

This entry was posted on Monday, December 13th, 2010 at 13:56 by Rockne Andrew Roll and is filed under Booze, Humor, New Issue, Politics, Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.