Oregon Ranked Among the Largest in Penis Size
In a recent study released by Condomania, Oregon was rated as the second largest state when it comes to penis size. Though this comes as no surprise to anyone who has a passing familiarity with the hulking lumberjacks who comprise our state (or the marble-cut hunks of the Oregon Commentator office), the news comes as a sick shock to neighboring states such as Colorado, Utah and Wyoming, which all ranked in the bottom ten.
According to the survey, the tumescent curve falls between 3” and 10”, falling into a normal Bell curve between 5” and 6”. This data is supported by a 1996 UCSF study, a 1996 German report and a Brazilian study that places average penis size between 5.1 and 5.7 inches. No significant discrepancies were found between African-American males and Caucasian males, although the rankings seem to refute this (New Orleans, Washington D.C. and San Diego are all in the top ten.)
I’m personally bursting with pride. Way to penetrate the top ranks, Oregon. I know the ride was hard, but we shot to the top of the heap. So keep on struttin’ that Cascade cock lumberjacks and don’t let anyone tell you different.
Unless you have micropenis.
This is total cock. They calculated these “statistics” from their “database” of 27,000 penises generated from their fitted condom sales. If we make the entirely unlikely assumption that these sales are divided evenly across all 50 states that is only 540 penis data points per state. Not a huge number to use to generate an average.
Probably the data points are not evenly distributed, I doubt they have very many sales to lower populated states like Alaska or Wyoming. For example, if they only have 20 data points out of Alaska from their 27k it is not going to produce good numbers and you certainly couldn’t compare that average from the average generated from say 3,000 data points collected from California.
Furthermore, there is significant selection bias. Their data is not a random selection from the population. Only dicks needing condoms, specially fitted and purchased them through this business are used to calculate the averages. I postulate that dudes with huge dicks typically have no need for condoms because, being alpha as fuck, they only raw dog girls. If your dick is swinging down to your knees you are king dick and king dicks don’t mess about with latex.
Better headline: Condom company trying to get free advertising invents numbers out of thin air and assigns average penis length to states.