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A Most Unholy Union

(photo credit: Lumiere)

As reported by Emily Schiola in today’s ODE, ASUO Vice President Katie Taylor and former OSPIRG Board Chair Charles Denson have been engaged in wedlock since November 2009, when Denson was working for the notorious fee-wasting “student” group.  Since Denson was the chair of OSPIRG’s board until a month ago, this raises huge questions of favoritism and conflict of interest in the support the Eckstein-Taylor administration has shown for OSPIRG. Apparently there were also members to the ASUO who were complicit in hiding this important piece of information from the student body.

“Taylor acknowledged that there are members of the ASUO who know about the marriage,” Schiola wrote, “but said [she] doesn’t talk about her personal life often.”

Though both Taylor and Denson assert  “that they keep their professional and personal lives separate,” it seems incredibly unlikely that they wouldn’t be at least doing a little ASUO role-play every now and then (“I make a motion to put myself inside you….” “Motion accepted.”).

All sex talk aside, its incredibly shady and irresponsible of Taylor to hide this from the student body she claims to support, especially with the OSPIRG budget decision looming (for those not in the know, they want to up it by 97 percent. Yes, really.) How can approving an unnecessary budget increase for a program that your HUSBAND was Board Chair of not more than a month ago not be construed as favoritism? We will have to see how Taylor rationalizes that one.

There have been rumblings that this is purely a sham marriage concocted to receive better financial benefits (much like my own) something that is incredibly illegal and distasteful for two people holding public office (but completely acceptable for two editors of a political humor rag.)

What will come of this explosive revelation? Probably nothing, because 80-9 percent of the student body has no idea what OSPIRG is beyond the annoying canvassers who stand outside of Lillis. But for the tiny percentage of us who give a fuck about the dishonest conduct of our governing body, Taylor has amends to make. She should either A) divorce Denson and defund OSPIRG; B) renew their vows together in the Fishbowl on a crowded Wednesday afternoon and defund OSPIRG; or C) engage in polygamy with Robert D’Andrea and Denson to make this Devil’s threesome complete and defund OSPIRG . These are the only acceptable way for her to rectify her insidious betrayal to the students of UO.

(Edit: an earlier version of this post was published under Alex Tomchak Scott’s name. The real author was Sophie.)

  1. Well, that camera got covered in wax…

  2. The Old Man says:

    Also good picture for this post: a scene from “Bride of Chuckie.”

    Just sayin’

  3. Steve says:

    It took you guys this long to figure it out?

    Also, kuddos for the pic. Classic.

  4. Robert says:

    Damn it! I thought Alex zinged me.

  5. Sophie says:

    BY SOPHIE LAWHEAD

    Oh well, it will probably be better received with your name on it

  6. CJ says:

    To be fair, they were just following in OSPIRG’s long tradition of hiding their true financial status and personal interests from the student body.

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