Look look, this random website says we’re the #20 most awesome (Twitter) person in Eugene.

See at the bottom?

Victory alas,

To Rennies to celebrate this momentous moment!

The Student Insurgent, in a surprising turn of events, is actually doing something. I would be proud, if their actions weren’t entirely asinine.

First, they hosted a guest speaker last week who advocated sex trafficking. No joke. From their blog:

War on Terror & War on Trafficking:
Why Irrational Panic over ‘Modern Day Slavery’ Harms Women

Thursday May 19th, from 6-730pm in Condon 104, University of Oregon.

Presented by Emi Koyama, War on Terror & War on Trafficking examines “facts” promoted by the anti-trafficking groups and “experts,” and exposes how they have distorted our conversations about sex trafficking and prostitution and harmed women, sex workers, immigrants, and others.

The presentation also explores many ways in which the new War on Trafficking resembles the so-called War on Terror in its worldview, approach, and devastating impact on vulnerable communities. […]

Come to find out why:

• Average age of entry into prostitution is not 12-14 year old
• 300,000 children are not at risk of being trafficked
• A third of runaway youth are not trafficked within first 48 hours
• Super Bowl and World Cup did not contribute to human trafficking
• Portland is not “Pornland, Oregon”
• “End Demand” approach targeting “johns” harms women
• Anti-trafficking “experts” should not be trusted (remember Bill Hillar?)
• Trafficking is often the State’s excuse to raid immigrants and communities of color
• Anti-trafficking movement distorts reality and misleads public policy

Clearly, the Student Insurgent advocates sex trafficking. The Commentator will be looking more into this story, including whether or not the Student Insurgent is housing underage, trafficked prostitutes in their office. Look for that next week.

Additionally, as I was walking by the Commentator distribution rack outside McKenzie Hall this afternoon, I saw this flier sitting on top of our HATE issues in the rack:

You know the Commentator. Constantly committing acts of ableism (which, and I’ve looked through our archives, I can’t find), objectifying women AND men, and generally slandering our fellow students.

Any responses to this flier should not only be directed to Dr. Shang (who, by the way, won the Professional Baller Tater Award last year) but also to us at [email protected]. Best response receives a Sudsy t-shirt and a hug from me and Sophie — AT THE SAME TIME. How can you say no?

On a more serious note: free speech, bitches. Deal with it.

EDIT: I can’t be sure this flier was indeed placed by the Insurgent, but based on the conversations I’ve had the last week, I can only guess.

Picture from the Second Amendment Week facebook event page

What’cha doin’ next week? Well, if you want to head over to OSU you may have a chance to win a gun!

Yep, you read that right. This coming Monday, April 11th through Friday April 15th the Oregon State University College Republicans will be holding their annual Second Amendment Week.

As part of the festivities they will be raffling off an AR-15 rifle. Unfortunately, while you need not be present to win the drawing, you must purchase the tickets in person. Tickets can be picked up from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Monday through Friday in the MU quad. The drawing is set to be around 6 p.m. on Friday.

Other Second Amendment Week Events include a free gun safety course and Lars Larson broadcasting from the quad (in the words of their facebook group):

Free gun safety course for students on Wednesday at 7PM in Gilfillan Auditorium. Along with being very useful information, this course also meets state requirements to obtain a Concealed Handgun License (CHL).

Lars Larson will be broadcasting from the MU Quad on Friday between noon and 6PM.

CHEERS!

Since my last report (Veto Upheld, That Is All: ASUO Senate Recap 07 March 2011), much has changed.

The Athletics and Contracts Finance Committee met Sunday for a little over a half hour. During this hearing, the committee announced that it had cut $84,264 from the Lane Transit District contract during renegotiations on Friday. The committee decided, during the meeting, to allocate $38,000 to the athletic department and $3,600 to Sexual Assault Support Services. The remaining $42,664 went unallocated, reducing the ACFC Budget to $3,964,991.00, an increase of 6.32 percent over this year’s levels.

In a memo sent to the Executive and Senate, the committee explained “The ACFC had decided ultimately to not fund OSPIRG. The reasons for this where mixed. Some members felt it was unethical to mandate a fee for a public interest research group without implementing an-opt out fee. Other members felt the money could be better spent. The group would reconsider this allocation if various funding mechanisms were pursued further.”

The Senate attempted to meet Monday night to pass the new budget, but could not make quorum. Many believed that this, combined with the timeline desired by Robin Holmes and others in the administration, would allow ASUO President Amelie Rousseau to submit her own budget to the administration.

However, the Constitution Court ruled today that the administration’s desired deadline was not binding, and that Senate had until March 31 to submit a budget. “The Court is unpersuaded by the fact that University administration would like the budget by March 18, March 29 or any other date. University Administration has to adhere to the ASUO Constitution just like all other branches of the ASUO,” said Chief Justice Andrae Washington in the Court’s Per Curium opinion. The Court went on to explain that the two days the Senate is bound to act on the ACFC’s new recommendation within will not begin until March 25.

So now, instead of perhaps receiving the gift of a contract directly from Rousseau, OSPIRG will apparently have to go at least one more round with the Senate during the first week of Spring Term.

Here is Altman’s resignation letter, being all ballsy and shit:

Dear Senators and ASUO,

Having the opportunity to work with such bright and motivated people in the ASUO has been a highlight of my time at the University. Unfortunately, I must conclude my service for the ASUO Senate and Programming Finance Committee.
After much thought and internal struggle, resignation from Senate Seat 3 has become unavoidable. As a financially independent student, there is a necessity to maintain a job other than my Senate seat. Working a minimum of 25 hours a week for Senate and PFC has made it impossible for me to work enough hours at my other job to meet my financial needs.
My commitment to the ASUO has grown since I was elected last Spring, but it would be unfair for me to maintain my Senate Seat when I know that I cannot give more of my time to the position. I hope that whomever is appointed to Senate Seat 3 can dedicate themselves to Senate and PFC for the amazing amount of time that is demanded.

I would like to mention, also, that I do not approve of increasing stipends to better compensate ASUO members. Serving the University should not be encouraged monetarily, as students are not yet professionals. Because we are initially students, I also think that the hours necessary for being a part of the ASUO could be decreased through furthered efficiency in meetings, and a reevaluation of committee responsibilities.
From the perspective of PFC, for example, I feel that the Controllers do most of the budgeting work for the Programs, and the executive recommendations are commonly the best option for Program i-fee allocations. Because of this, I feel that Executive Recommendations could be the initially allocated amount, which would create necessity for Budget Hearings only when the PFC recalls a group, or when the group would like to appeal the Executive Recommendation. This would eliminate Budget Hearings that are unnecessary (inefficient).

Thank you for the educational experience, and I wish you the best of luck through Budget Hearings, and in to Spring term.

Respectfully,
Erin Altman

What you’re saying, Erin, is that as elected officials you should shirk your responsibilities and let the ASUO Executive — nay, the ASUO Finance Coordinator (the one who sets the executive recommendation), an APPOINTED INDIVIDUAL — make budgetary decisions. You are saying the finance committees should bend to the will of the ASUO executive and not make any of their own decisions based on individual research.

From what I’ve seen thus far, the PFC hasn’t done any individual research. As such, I can see why you would say the exec recs are the way to go — it seems you don’t know any better.

Every budget hearing is necessary because you, as PFC members, are supposed to know the ins and outs of every budget. If you didn’t have hearings, you wouldn’t have a chance to talk to programs about what they’re spending and why they’re spending it. You wouldn’t be the safeguard between my money and people spending it poorly. Honestly, you haven’t been doing much of that yet anyway (save for the Insurgent and I applaud you for that), but regardless. You are supposed to know more about the budgets of these programs than the programs themselves — that’s why you are assigned tags. You’re supposed to talk to the representatives, get a feel for what they want to do, and help them do it. The one making the executive recommendations (Finance Coordinator Colleen Soles*) is one person who can’t possibly get to know every program individually, and allocates based on a model.

This year, the PFC decided, instead of doing the due diligence and creating a model for themselves, to adopt the Executive’s funding model without fully understanding what it meant and its implications. You, as PFC, can allocate money however you see fit. I would hope that would come in the form of making rational decisions based on fundraising and amount spent, but even if not, it is important that you, as elected officials, are making the decisions.

Don’t bend to the will of the Executive. Do your due diligence and give programs the money they deserve and can actually use.

*Although, let’s be honest, it’s more likely Amelie herself.

Want to do something entirely useful with your time instead? Well look no further. Click below for computer science’s greatest ever contribution to humanity. Happy studying!

Click here for awesomeness.

You’re welcome,
– The Oregon Commentator

The UO Emergency Alert system sent out this email at 12:06pm today:

The University of Oregon received a threat against the Knight Library and the Lillis Business Complex warning that an explosive device was set to detonate early Wednesday morning, Nov. 24, 2010.  UO Department of Public Safety staff conducted searches of both buildings and found nothing suspicious.

Out of an abundance of caution, the Knight Library and Lillis Business Complex will be closed at 6:30 p.m., Tuesday evening to allow another sweep by law enforcement officials.  The buildings will remain closed until Wednesday morning.

Excellent. Let’s hope the potential bomber is as truthful as he is disgruntled.

As my distinguished colleague Spencer Madison pointed out, sometimes guns hurt people. Because of this, Madison seems to think that guns are bad. He elaborates that the constitutionally enshrined right of this country’s people to own them is bad as well. He is confident that the recent events he discusses will not have significant influence, backing his point by deploying a brilliant non-sequitur: “because people are extremely forgiving of the liberties a bunch of entitled slave owners gave us.”

How this should be an argument against the constitutional right to own guns is beyond me.

(more…)

The Oregon Commentator and the Coalition of On-Campus Smokers (COCS) proudly present:

The Great American Smoke-In
Celebrating freedom in all aspects of our lives.

Thursday, November 4th
12:00pm-1:00pm
EMU Amphitheater

We will be smoking in the EMU Amphitheater (cigarettes, cigars, hookah, etc.) for about a half-hour, then walking around and picking up cigarette butts and other tobacco trash. Lord knows they’re going to need us after taking out the smoking stations around the EMU. Gloves and trash bags provided. And I should have extra cigarettes to share.

The point here is that smokers are responsible students at the University of Oregon. We clean up after ourselves. We are leaders in the community. We work here. We live here. And we’re going to live our lives the way we want to.

(If you plan on attending, please click both links above!)

We may have damaged livers, but not damaged hearts. In partnership with the American Red Cross the Oregon Commentator is proud to present SudSquatch. All proceeds for the event will be donated to the Haiti reconstruction effort and low income families in Eugene that have been affected by flood or fire damage.

It only cost five dollars to spend a lovely Friday afternoon jamming out to Indubious and Sea Bell on the EMU lawn.  You can even charge it to your student account!

The UO is not exactly known for it’s republican fervor on campus, in fact they barely exist. We have the College Republicans, who haven’t updated their blog since 2006 and are rarely seen on campus. OSU however has a College Republican group that is prominent on campus and frankly kicks ass.

The group went all out last week in it’s annual Second Amendment week celebration. To convey the awesomeness of the event I’ll leave it to the facebook event page to give a proper description.

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Come join the Oregon State University College Republicans in a celebration of one of the most important rights we have as Americans.

Itinerary:
We are officially giving away an AR-15 rifle complete with hard case, 5 magazines, and 100 rounds of ammunition! We are also giving away a Benchmade Griptilian pocket knife. Buy your drawing tickets M-F, 10-4 in the MU quad.

Guest speakers: Kevin Starrett of Oregon Firearms Federation, 4th Congressional District candidate Jaynee Germond, and nationally syndicated talk show host Lars Larson will be in the MU quad on Friday, April 16, at 12pm!

FREE for students Gun Safety / Concealed Handgun License Class: Wednesday the 14th, 6pm, Milam Hall. Cost is $40 for non-students

Anyone interested is welcome to attend. We’ll be in the quad all week!

Now Lars Larson is not my cup of tea, but a raffle to win a AR-15 that is what I’m all about. Step up your game UO College republicans.

A few issues ago I wrote a “fake news story” about the Ol’ Dirty filling their news editor position with an orangutan named Pat. During a conversation with the Emerald‘s business manager Kathy Carbone, she complimented me on the story as well as asked me, “It’s funny, but can you just write that? Or is there some kind of rules against writing fake, ridiculous quotes?” I told Kathy that anyone who thinks a chimp getting hired at a school paper is real was not worth my time. We never received any complaints.

Unfortunately, the same can not be said for the Vancouver Voice, ran by former OC editor-in-chief Ossie Bladine. In a section titled “Not Real News” they ran a fake story about a local business considering implementing casino games for children as part of their business model. Just wait, it gets better.

Apparently a local citizen called the Washington State Gambling Commission and the business is now under investigation. Now, I can understand Ossie’s problem of readers’ lazy eyes — I have read links to this very blog (mostly from Tea Party people who hate me) saying that “there’s not even an author to this blog!” when clearly, my name is directly under the title.

What is more confusing, however, is how on Earth anyone could think that a news organization like the Voice would run a straight news story about a children’s gambling establishment with no commentary or editorial substance. Is the generation gap becoming so large that The Onion is becoming a dividing line?

This is not the first time this year the Voice has had such confusion over a clearly labeled and clearly satirical article. In their Jan. 21 issue, the Voice ran a story about The Columbian changing its name to The Fort Vancouver Tribune. Apparently this caused some mental anguish for their readers, and Ossie had to formulate a very obvious, simply-worded note for his slower readers that read, We’d like to state that this was not quite real news–as in, we made it up.” 

In any case Ossie said, “From an outsider’s view, this is pretty funny. But for Big Al’s, a locally owned business that works hard to keep a family friendly image, not so funny.” But Ossie’s wrong, isn’t he? It’s not funny.

It’s absolutely hilarious.

Zachary Bucharest/The Vanguard

Now that the sun has started to shine, it inevitably means that Zach Vishanoff will break out his easel and get to work painting Eugene in bloom. As such, the state of Oregon will be requiring a new conspiracy theorist to take his place. Enter Professor John Hall of Portland State.

In an insane story, Hall has accused one of his students — a former Israeli Defense Forces member and contracted mercenary — of being an agent provocateur and an FBI informant.

It started when Zachary Bucharest brought a deconstructed and firing pin-less AR-15 to class for a presentation in November. After months of interaction with Bucharest, Professor Hall had decided he was dangerous to the PSU community. In January, Hall called Bucharest out during a class session, and presented a letter he’d written to the local FBI office.

In the letter, Hall makes several cliche, paranoid references like “As you would [already] know…” The story seemingly tangles itself considering Hall took a campus safety officer to class with him to “pat down” Bucharest — a violation of his privacy — to look for a gun (lets not forget OUS/PSU rules that violate the 2nd Amendment either).

As a result, Hall has been suspended with pay pending investigation into the matter. There are so many directions to go with this story, so much input it’s hard to know where to start. For starters, Bucharest brought an AR-15 to campus, violating PSU’s “rules” against firearms — a sticky situation in itself.

Then comes the attack by Hall, asking a campus officer to do an illegal search of Bucharest. Combine that with the fact that a tenured professor going off about a secret FBI informant in his midst is going to seem a little batshit crazy (even if he did somehow hit the secret hotspot).

For Christ’s sake, even if Bucharest is an FBI informant, what is Hall expecting with that letter? I’ll save you the long, rambling read but the professor ends his letter with a warning to the FBI that he will, “Inform my students’ parents of this likely threat.” Was Hall expecting the FBI to come out and say, “Wow. You really got us, John. We tried to slip it past you but you were too on the ball. Great job!”

This may be serious business a little farther north, but from where I’m sitting this is just plain funny.

(We apologize for the delay for the posters. Proper Facebook clearance was needed.)