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HATE: JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Thursday, April 18th, 2013

WE WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU HATE!

So much that we made this hate document!

Now is your chance to unleash your hatred at/for/via the Oregon Commentator! FREE SUDSY T-SHIRT FOR THE BEST HATE ESSAY

Well-grounded hate is quintessential because its ugly alternatives are blind acceptance or forced compromise. This current trend in society to discourage or even denounce hate in its essence spells danger for the United States. We must not only keep in mind but assert the importance of upholding the right to hate, just as we have the right to free speech. As irrational or discomforting as it may sound, everyone has the right to feel how they feel. As a former Commentator once said:

Sticking your head in the clouds and pretending the world is always a beautiful place may be appealing, but it is not reality.

https://docs.google.com/a/oregoncommentator.com/document/d/1SpOnDnFrhGBcLIdOa6iJfwa_lqSDpcW0j0AvhCHcNoQ/edit?usp=sharing

Black Friday

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011

This is a public service announcement:  With all this riffraff about the 1%, don’t forget the true meaning of Thanksgiving: standing in line outside a chain-store at 1 a.m. the morning after, eating left-overs and looking like Rudolph because it’s freezing.

Just please don’t have as many Red Bull and Eggnog’s as these guys:

Dead Gaddafi for Halloween

Saturday, October 22nd, 2011

I am thinking of dressing as dead Muammar Gaddafi for Halloween. But I want your opinion. Would it be too soon? What about dressing as slutty dead Muammar Gaddafi?

Famous

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

Look look, this random website says we’re the #20 most awesome (Twitter) person in Eugene.

See at the bottom?

Victory alas,

To Rennies to celebrate this momentous moment!

 

 

Oregon Ranked Among the Largest in Penis Size

Monday, August 22nd, 2011

In a recent study released by Condomania, Oregon was rated as the second largest state when it comes to penis size. Though this comes as no surprise to anyone who has a passing familiarity with the hulking lumberjacks who comprise our state (or the marble-cut hunks of the Oregon Commentator office), the news comes as a sick shock to neighboring states such as Colorado, Utah and Wyoming, which all ranked in the bottom ten.

According to the survey, the tumescent curve falls between 3” and 10”, falling into a normal Bell curve between 5” and 6”. This data is supported by a 1996 UCSF study, a 1996 German report and a Brazilian study that places average penis size between 5.1 and 5.7 inches. No significant discrepancies were found between African-American males and Caucasian males, although the rankings seem to refute this (New Orleans, Washington D.C. and San Diego are all in the top ten.)

I’m personally bursting with pride. Way to penetrate the top ranks, Oregon. I know the ride was hard, but we shot to the top of the heap. So keep on struttin’ that Cascade cock lumberjacks and don’t let anyone tell you different.

Unless you have micropenis.

Announcing the Oregon Commentator’s Bro Spew Contest

Monday, February 7th, 2011

This photograph is something everyone needs to think about. There are some very poignant elements to it. If you can find all four poignant elements, e-mail winthings@oregoncommentator.com to tell us what they are and you could win a copy of the next Oregon Commentator signed by everyone who comes to our next meeting. If not, we’re just going to give the issue to the guy who works at 7-Eleven early Monday mornings.