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Archive for the 'New Issue' Category

New Issue Online: The Tater Awards!

Wednesday, June 12th, 2013

I present to you, the Tater Awards.

This is the last issue for the Oregon Commentator I will have worked on and my last post on this blog. I appreciate all the lovers, the haters, and everyone who made any aspect of my experience at the OC possible. I am very proud of the last five months and wish the students at the University of Oregon a happy summer. Cheers!

THE 2013 HATE ISSUE

Tuesday, May 7th, 2013

We are very very proud to release our highly revered HATE issue! Nobody is safe!We take no prisoners!

Click here to read about the illegality of OSPIRG and why it sucks! We also hate on the UO, Sobriety, California and many other abominable topics!

SHARE THE HATE!

New Issue!

Wednesday, April 17th, 2013

Click the link to your right or visit our archives to find our latest issue, Volume XXX Issue V! The print copy should be on stands by Monday!

New Issue Online, Off the Record!

Thursday, March 14th, 2013

We are very pleased to bring you the 4th issue of the Oregon Commentator’s 30th year publishing! Click here for Off the Record! The issue should be on stands by Monday.

Hate Issue Available Today

Tuesday, May 29th, 2012

Hateful days are here again.

The Hate Issue is available now. Read it. Or don’t. Asshole.

The Rational Debate Issue Available Now

Friday, April 13th, 2012

Down with print. Internet forever.

Read it here now. On stands soon.

Get Your Haterade Here-Hate Issue Hits Stands Today

Wednesday, May 18th, 2011

Hey hey, look to your right. Yeah, see that? It’s the HATE ISSUE and you want to read it. Trust me. We’ve got hate everywhere. See you can download it here as well. You can also pick up a print copy today on campus, provided you got your lazy hungover ass out of bed (here at The Commentator we don’t judge you for your Tuesday drinking antics).

In it you will find lots of charming rants about the tea party, so-cal girls, student loans, football, the Greek system, iClicikers, Vegans and the ASUO.

But the fun doesn’t stop there! Our own Alex Tomchak Scott interviewed University of Oregon President Richard Lariviere and there’s a four page transcript to prove it!

Cheers!

 

New Issue: LTD Nutsack Man

Monday, May 2nd, 2011

The newest issue is online and it may be, if I may say so, our best yet. It features an interview with everyone’s favorite campus notable, the LTD Nutsack Man, as well as a multitude of stories regarding the recent ASUO Elections, the Oregon Liquor Control Commission and other subjects of note. You can download it here.

This issue also marks my last issue as Editor-in-Chief. It’s been an amazing, crazy ride and a whole lot of fun. It’s been my pleasure to provide you with campus news and political discussion (and dick jokes) over the last year, and you’ll still see me all up on this blog, but I’m moving on to other things (you know, like graduating). I’ll miss you all.

Keep reading. Please. Without the truth, we have nothing, and without the Commentator, we don’t have the truth.

Diamond out.

New Issue Preview: LTD Screamer John Brewster

Thursday, April 28th, 2011

Photo credit: Rockne Andrew Roll

This man will be profiled in the issue of the Commentator hitting campus this Monday. Here’s a little taste, the reasons behind his decision to urinate on the floor of a Sprinfield jail:

“They brought me over there. When they take you from Lane County over there, they take you to a bathroom. You’ve got cameras on you, so I turn around, showed them my buns. They gave me hell for that.”

All laughter aside, John Brewster is homeless and about to be kicked out of his campsite in Goshen. The campsite is the most important thing in the world to him, his pride and joy. He calls it “paradise,” and he’s gutted to lose it. He doesn’t know where he’ll go from there. He asked me to tell people that, if they want to help him out, they should e-mail him at johnbrewster60@gmail.com.

ASUO Elections Issue now online!

Monday, March 28th, 2011

The ASUO Election issue is now online! Check it out for ballot measure endorsements, candidate interviews and other articles that will make your spine tingle and your toes numb. Or something. You can download it by clicking the link in the sidebar, or clicking here.

The Expansion Issue is also in the sidebar for your viewing pleasure, or you can download it here.

And I’ll be posting the full text of our ballot endorsements today, but suffice to say that you sould VOTE NO ON EVERYTHING, ESPECIALLY OSPIRG.

Way, way too late: Expansion Issue Online!

Thursday, March 24th, 2011

The Expansion Issue, the newest from our cavalcade of awesome, is now online. In it you will find:

  • Info on new buildings going up around campus, including the East Campus Residence Hall and a new EMU,
  • A quick analysis of President Lariviere’s New Partnership proposal,
  • A brief history of the riverfront and why everyone’s all uppity about it,
  • A treatise on parking at the UO,
  • Updates on automatic admissions,
  • and much much more!

Download it by clicking here or following the link to the right. And stay tuned — the ASUO Elections Issue is just around the corner!

Sex Issue Online!

Thursday, February 10th, 2011

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and with it comes the Oregon Commentator‘s Sex Issue, available on stands and online today!

In it you will find:

  • A treatise on skinny jeans and why men should never, ever wear them;
  • Breakup advice from the OC‘s very own independent agent, Kellie Bramstone;
  • Tips and tricks for effective sexting;
  • Guides to girls and guys, for the socially inept in all of us;
  • Anonymously submitted sex stories;
  • The only personals page you’ll ever need;
  • and so much more!

You can download it here or by clicking the box to your right. If you’re on campus, be sure to pick up a copy at one of our fine distribution locations!

Interview Issue Online!

Monday, January 24th, 2011

After nigh on 30 hours awake, the Interview Issue has graced your web browser with more fun and excitement than you could ever expect from 22 pages of text. Inside:

  • Learn about your ladyparts with UO Nurse Practitioner Colleen Jones!
  • Nerd out about the ASUO with English dramatist Henry Fielding and Houston Rocket Aaron Brooks!
  • Read about Students for Life President David Lach! You don’t have a choice!*
  • A man who needs no introduction . . .
  • Get paranoid with Zach Vishanoff and An Tae Sik!
  • Lament the one that got away!

It’s a REAL THING. Get it here. Enjoy or die!

*Get it? Get it? See what we did there?

Big Balls issue OUT NOW.

Tuesday, January 11th, 2011

Big Balls issue

Click the thumbnail above to read the issue.

You know what’s ballsy? Publishing a football-themed issue of a university publication the morning your school is set to play the biggest football game in its history, an issue that will only reach newsstands two days later. Ballsy verging on the idiotic; ballsy verging on the “That was actually an awful idea”; maybe even not so much “verging.” But ballsy nonetheless.

Just like Chip Kelly, the star of our newest issue — well, not entirely. His balls are the star. The entire issue attempts to harness the spirit of Chip Kelly’s balls — outrageous, reckless, creative, lunatic, assured, averse to punting. We’ve done our best to stick our neck out on this one. Rest assured that, with the exception of one onside kick late in proofing, we did not at any point use our feet to make this issue, even on fourth and long.

What you will find inside though:

  • Reminiscence on the academic career of Bill Hillar, the ex-UO instructor whose balls were both his making and his undoing.
  • The most disturbing headline We’ve ever read. Read the issue and see if you can tell which one I mean.
  • Someone ballsy enough to reject the idea of legalized cannabis in the pages of the Oregon Commentator.
  • An advice column written by Chip Kelly’s balls themselves. Incidentally, those balls may have crushed our regular advice columnist, Kellie Bramstone, in their gravitational field.
  • One contributor is ballsy enough to question Comcast even though we’re using Comcast internet service to upload our issue.
  • Julian Assange’s thoughts on teabagging.
  • Oh and our editorial. It’s a poem, motherfucker! Think that’s not ballsy? Poetry will drive you insane. Have you ever had the stones to publish a poem about the news? Is that even wise?

Editor’s note: This was written Monday morning after a whole night of being awake, thus adding to its hilarity.

US Senate Beer Pong Tournament: Second and Third Rounds

Monday, December 13th, 2010

Second and Third Round highlights from the Ted Kennedy Memorial United States Senate Beer Pong Tournament. For First Round Action, see below. For full Tournament rules, bracket, and results, see “The Holiday Issue” of the Oregon Commentator, available online to your right. (more…)