The OC Blog Back Issues Our Mission Contact Us Masthead
Sudsy Wants You to Join the Oregon Commentator
 

Archive for the 'Sunday Best' Category

UO Cheer tryouts: $5 …Ogling cheerleaders: Priceless

Saturday, May 4th, 2013

I know this is old news but, in case you haven’t heard, the UO Cheer squad hosted tryouts and invited the public to come watch for a 5 dollar entrance fee. Busted Coverage has the story (and pictures!).

UO Matters has the story, too. On that post you will find a screenshot of a bid war for a pair of Official Women’s Soccer shorts:
20130504-132158.jpg
Disgusting. And Hilarious. The Busted Coverage gallery is the best though. Locker room pics!

But honestly am just saddened that the ASUO mailing lists didn’t forward any notice of the cheerleading tryouts. I would have forked over 5 dollars any day to get a close up view of the cheerleaders in action. Wait, I take that back. Most of them are too orange for me.

UO Cheer did have an advertisement on their official Twitter feed, though. I wonder what kind of fellows and how many of ‘em were lucky enough to get in there…

In the news: scientists playing with mice again.

Monday, December 19th, 2011

Good news for relationships worldwide, scientists may have discovered how to give us better memories. Translation: your girlfriend is going to remember that thing you said you for years and years. And that other thing too. You might as well just break up with her now, seeing as you don’t even remember what it was.

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, adieu

Thursday, December 8th, 2011

Email from President Lariviere:

Dear faculty, staff and students,

Words cannot convey all that I feel as my time as president comes to an end. It is an honor to be your colleague. In many ways, my job was as simple as holding a mirror to the institution — letting your great work speak for itself.

The outpouring of support you have shown has moved me deeply. You will continue to build on our momentum to make this university greater still. The leadership demonstrated on this campus these past few weeks gives me great optimism for that future.

Finally, please know how much Jan and I love this place. We have become part of you and part of this community, and you have become part of us.

From the bottom of my heart,

Richard

Here at the Commentator we will be using all of our available resources (which include a Sudsy suit and $3.28 in the couch cushions) to convince Lariviere to sing “So Long, Farewell.” Dear President Lariviere if you are reading this and would like to upload a video of you singing, please email the link to editor(at)oregoncommentator.com. And if you could get Assistant Vice President and Dean of Students Dr. Paul Shang to sing with you that would be all the better.

Ethical note: I’m bs-ing about the $3.28, who the hell is brave enough to search the Commentator couch? Lyzi, Lyzi, LaMichael, anyone?

Funny story: Stephen Glass wants to be a lawyer?

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011

The story of Stephen Glass goes a little like this:

Man has great story idea, works for awesome publication. Man makes up story even though it’d be pretty damn easy to just get the story. Actually, man does this a shit-ton an embarrasses himself, his publication and the world of journalism. Man loses job.

This is of course the children’s book version, sorry I didn’t have time to draw it out. There’s also a movie version called Shattered Glass (excellent film).

So, the moral is that this kid gets kicked out because he isn’t being ethical.

His next choice of careers? What better than law?

Glass is currently waiting for approval from the California Supreme Court so that he can start practicing according to this article.

Source: http://www.blippitt.com/23-of-the-worlds-greatest-lawyer-jokes/

 

On Liberal Pathways to Prosperity with a Rehash of the Same Information Every Two Pages

Thursday, May 26th, 2011

A study recently released by the Harvard Graduate School of Education seeks to solve the growing disconnect between the job market and academia by focusing on job training and education.

With barely half of the students enrolled in four-year colleges completing their bachelors degrees in six years and even less completing an associates degrees in three years, it is evident that college-prep should not be the only focus of High School. Indeed, many students drop out because the relationship between their courses and possible jobs is blurred.

This is not only a problem in High School, but college as well. With the variety of courses required for graduation being confusing at best and alluring course offerings like Zombies in Popular Media, Philosophy and Star Trek, and Lady Gaga and the Sociology of Fame, one can easily be distracted from reality. Moreover, the connection between education and career can be befuddling— what can you do with a history or Latin degree? What kind of job can you get a bachelor’s degree in economics?

What’s more, while Community Colleges face lower funding, they often produce graduates that earn more than those who earn a degree from a four-year university. “Pathways to Prosperity”, the study recently published by the Harvard Graduate School of Education reports, “27 percent of people with post-secondary licenses or certificates—credentials short of an associate’s degree—earn more than the average bachelor’s degree recipient.”

Professor Vedder of the Ohio State economics department made similar comments in his October article “Why Did 17 Million Students Go to College?stating ” the growing disconnect between labor market realities and the propaganda of higher-education apologists is causing more and more people to graduate and take menial jobs or no job at all” noting that more than 317,000 waitresses have college degrees.

(more…)

The Student Insurgent: Sex trafficking is greater than or equal to hate speech.

Sunday, May 22nd, 2011

The Student Insurgent, in a surprising turn of events, is actually doing something. I would be proud, if their actions weren’t entirely asinine.

First, they hosted a guest speaker last week who advocated sex trafficking. No joke. From their blog:

War on Terror & War on Trafficking:
Why Irrational Panic over ‘Modern Day Slavery’ Harms Women

Thursday May 19th, from 6-730pm in Condon 104, University of Oregon.

Presented by Emi Koyama, War on Terror & War on Trafficking examines “facts” promoted by the anti-trafficking groups and “experts,” and exposes how they have distorted our conversations about sex trafficking and prostitution and harmed women, sex workers, immigrants, and others.

The presentation also explores many ways in which the new War on Trafficking resembles the so-called War on Terror in its worldview, approach, and devastating impact on vulnerable communities. [...]

Come to find out why:

• Average age of entry into prostitution is not 12-14 year old
• 300,000 children are not at risk of being trafficked
• A third of runaway youth are not trafficked within first 48 hours
• Super Bowl and World Cup did not contribute to human trafficking
• Portland is not “Pornland, Oregon”
• “End Demand” approach targeting “johns” harms women
• Anti-trafficking “experts” should not be trusted (remember Bill Hillar?)
• Trafficking is often the State’s excuse to raid immigrants and communities of color
• Anti-trafficking movement distorts reality and misleads public policy

Clearly, the Student Insurgent advocates sex trafficking. The Commentator will be looking more into this story, including whether or not the Student Insurgent is housing underage, trafficked prostitutes in their office. Look for that next week.

Additionally, as I was walking by the Commentator distribution rack outside McKenzie Hall this afternoon, I saw this flier sitting on top of our HATE issues in the rack:

You know the Commentator. Constantly committing acts of ableism (which, and I’ve looked through our archives, I can’t find), objectifying women AND men, and generally slandering our fellow students.

Any responses to this flier should not only be directed to Dr. Shang (who, by the way, won the Professional Baller Tater Award last year) but also to us at winthings@oregoncommentator.com. Best response receives a Sudsy t-shirt and a hug from me and Sophie — AT THE SAME TIME. How can you say no?

On a more serious note: free speech, bitches. Deal with it.

EDIT: I can’t be sure this flier was indeed placed by the Insurgent, but based on the conversations I’ve had the last week, I can only guess.

Eugene Weekly letters: better than crack. Or crack-induced. Whatever.

Sunday, April 17th, 2011

I opened the Eugene Weekly this week to the letters section (as I often do for entertainment) and came across this gem:

HAND JOB IS BETTER

Another case for legalized prostitution in Eugene:

There is more dignity and public service in offering a $5 hand job than being dressed as a national monument and dancing on 7th Avenue to remind us to get our taxes done.

The fuck, people …

Jeff Albertson, Springfield

The art is in the indignation.

I hit the EW website to find the letter and found another hilarious one:

BIRDBRAIN TIMES

Two days ago, I was staring out a window, when a common jay caught my eye. It was painstakingly burying a large peanut in the leaves right outside. Pecking, digging, stacking leaves … just like a squirrel, and all for a peanut.

Maybe birds should be in charge. On a good day we’d get stork-like treatment, on a bad day, a talon thrill ride into the sunset. At least birdbrains would follow predictable, instinctive behavior.

While we humans are slugging it out with ourselves — our instinct to survive apparently lost; our unpredictability growing.

It’s high time to bring on the birdbrains. What have we got to loose? [sic] Everything.

Dan Dubach, Eugene

Legalizing prostitution and handing the city over to birds: clearly the best way to solve our problems.

Sunday Best: An emotional day.

Sunday, December 5th, 2010

Jerry Allen calls the last minute of yesterday’s Civil War that will send the Ducks to the BCS National Championship Game. Jerry Allen is the same man who called “The Pick” back in 1994. Try not to cry when you watch this clip.

When our football team does well, it serves as a form of micronationalism, unifying us as a school and a team and a community. In these moments — despite all the fucked up dealings involving the UO administration, the ASUO and everything else — I am proud to be a Duck.

See you in Glendale, kids.

Sunday Best

Sunday, April 4th, 2010

Text message conversation with my brother:

Me: (With picture attached) This is what I want for my birthday.

Brother: It’s like ‘Wooly Willy’!

Me: Yeah, if Wooly Willy were responsible for the deaths of 100 million people.

Brother: I’m sure a few kids opened his head and died eating the metal shavings.

Me: Yeah but you only spent those few days in the hospital.

Sunday Best

Sunday, March 28th, 2010

Why would the College Democrats put Fox News stickers all over their door? Seems counterintuitive.

Sunday Best

Sunday, March 21st, 2010

Ross Coyle/Oregon Commentator

ASUO Senate President Nicholas Gower shows that he still knows how to class up the student government at a Senate meeting Mar. 17th

Sunday Best

Sunday, March 14th, 2010

Here’s a guy who hasn’t lived up to his full potential.

Sunday Best

Sunday, March 7th, 2010

Now that the ASUO Senate is out of session until next term, I figured this picture that Pete drew me during our special request senate meeting had some kind of sigificance.

Sunday Best

Sunday, February 21st, 2010

I found this gem in the office of another student program earlier this week. Such hostility, I’ll never understand. Jocular goading at best, in my case.

Sunday Best

Sunday, February 14th, 2010

Because Sundays are slow. This week:

Self-deprecating trash can.