The OC Blog Back Issues Our Mission Contact Us Masthead
Sudsy Wants You to Join the Oregon Commentator

Archive for September, 2004

Where’s the liveblogging you promised me?

September 30th, 2004 by flood

Oh that little Bushie is sooooo cute. What kind of pen is he holding? What a great tie. Blah blah. Where are you people?

Republican Scare Tactics

September 30th, 2004 by Sho

Check out this flyer with a return address of the Republic National Committee, which warns Arkansas voters (Arkansans?) that if “Liberal politicians and their hand picked activist judges” have their way, men holding hands with other men will be ALLOWED and the Bible will be BANNED.

(via Boing Boing)

Alan Greenspan is diluting your vodka!

September 30th, 2004 by danimal

Hit & Run points us to the webpage of the Capitalism Party. It’s young but bound to grow. (A single pledge, I imagine, would double its ranks.)

Head over there and click on “Money Story” for a dense (as in thick-headed) parable advocating the restoration of the Gold Standard by analogizing paper currency to bottles of vodka. Said parable even manages to implicate public education in the nefarious plot:

By now the governments reservoir was overflowing with vodka taken from each citizens bank account. So the chairman of the Vodka Reserve Bank and the secretary of the Treasure Department held a meeting to decide what to do with all that vodka.

These officials along with other government officials decided to put this vodka in bottles and use them to hire social intellectuals. Those social intellectuals would have the job of teaching the public that businessmen are greedy people . . .

The Capitalism Party and the OC would seem to have common goals: freer markets and stronger booze. But it’s a very broad spectrum indeed. Good luck to you, sir.

UPDATE: Also notable is his lengthy defense of Martha Stewart on “natural law” grounds, oddly entitled “Political Murder.” And you have to admire a guy who kicks off his manifesto with “Here Comes the Future.” How can you possibly contradict that statement?

The debates are on? That means it’s drinking time!

September 30th, 2004 by Sho

We all should expect that Wonkette, our favorite political gossiper and lush, would have a drinking game (and a non-drinking game) for tonight’s presidential debate. But who knew that the Chicago Tribune would print one (username: freechi, password: freechi), one that is written by a fellow in Canada no less. I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that the people most cynical about our elections would not reside inside the country.

The price of vigilance is eternal boredom

September 30th, 2004 by danimal

Even so, you might wanna keep an eye on this.

“Stoned Slackers” Actually Pretty Darn Smart

September 29th, 2004 by Sho

Olly posted a link to the transcript of Bill O’Reilly’s interview with John Stewart last week where O’Reilly called Daily Show viewers “stoned slackers” and alleged that 87 percent of the TV audience were intoxicated while watching the program.

Turns out, Daily Show followers are more informed about this year’s presidential election than fans of Jay Leno and David Letterman, according to the results of a political quiz (PDF) conducted by the National Annenburg Election Survey. Additionally, viewers of late night comedy shows scored better on the quiz than those who regularly watch network television news or read newspapers.

Take that, traditional media outlets!

The Mighty Continue To Fall.

September 29th, 2004 by Timothy

From one-time Scion of the “thinkers” half of the great blogosphere, to pathetic anime fanboy. At least some folks have had the foresight to set up a mirror of USS Clueless in the (to my mind quite likely) event that Den Beste gets a bug up his ass to replace his site with his new anime venture. Good luck on that, pal, I sure as hell won’t be reading it.

Godwin’s Law Be Damned

September 28th, 2004 by Tyler

Our friends at the Center For Consumer Freedom are launching a new ad campaign featuring Seinfelds infamous culinary curmudgeon, the Soup Nazi. Its good for a few shits and giggles.

Memo From The Ironic Names Department

September 28th, 2004 by olly

Keep an eye out for Richie Incognito around campus. The former Nebraska lineman will be enrolled at the UO this year, taking anger management classes and trying to avoid the issues (misdemeanor assault etc) that led to his departure from Lincoln. The Oregonian’s John Canzano (complete with that slightly unsettling staccato sportswriter style; here there be many one-sentence paragraphs) nears apoplexy here and here. Bellotti doesn’t think he’s a risk.

We shall see. I wonder if it’s possible to preemptively 86 someone from Taylor’s?

(Hat tip: OSF.)

Victory For Counterpoint

September 28th, 2004 by olly

The manifesto of the Campaign for Courtesy is addressed by the scintillating Harry Hutton, here.

UPDATE: I don’t usually hold with attempts to subvert Google, but I’ll make an exception for someone trying to make the best of being ranked 23rd in searches for “British National Party“.

I Am The Only One Who Will Love This

September 28th, 2004 by Timothy

Sabernomics combines two things that I love and nobody else gives a rat’s ass about. Namely, econometrics and baseball! Nothing so cool will be invented again, ever.

It’s Called Charisma….

September 28th, 2004 by Timothy

And I think Bush has oodles more. Take a look at this Bush quote from the article linked:

“[Kerry] voted for the use of force in Iraq and then didn’t vote to fund the troops,” Bush said. “He complained that we’re not spending enough money to help in reconstruction in Iraq and now he’s saying we’re spending too much. He said it was the right decision to go into Iraq and now he calls it the wrong war.

“He could probably spend 90 minutes debating himself,” Bush added to hoots of laughter from his supporters.

Even if you’re a Kerry supporter, you must admit that the line is funny and personable. Sure, it might be fairly predictable given that much of Bush’s strategy is painting Kerry as a waffler, but it still works pretty well. Now, check out Kerry’s response:

“When U.S. soldiers are in harm’s way, the American people don’t want jokes and fantasy spin from their president, they want to hear the truth,” he said in a statement issued from Spring Green, Wisconsin where he is preparing for the debate.

The Kerry quote is pretty lame by comparison and not at all engaging. It’s the same sort of dry, humorless crap that his campaign has been pumping out since day one. Better Kerry responses:

At least then we’d have two intelligent sides at the event.

Sure, but at least I know how to speak.

Hey, leggo my eggo!

I only need an hour, and I’ll come up with three better plans than Bush has.

That last one is a little weak, maybe. For Christ’s sake John, have a goddamn sense of humor about yourself, maybe if you didn’t take yourself so seriously all the time you’d come up with some better ideas AND actually be able to sell them to the American public. As is, you come across as a boring, stiff, self-important buffoon. Now, I want you to lose, so I’m okay with that, but still. A laugh every now and again never hurt anybody.

The Most Odd Comment Spam Ever

September 23rd, 2004 by Timothy

Apparently the people at “Party Poker Online” are Trotskyites. At least, that’s as much as I can tell from their comment spam:

Name: online poker
Email Address: [email protected]

Comments: (Reasons I Remain On The Fence)

Communism is exploitation of the strong by the weak.


The nationalist not only does not disapprove of atrocities committed by his own side, but he has a remarkable capacity for not even hearing about them.

Comments: (Crazy ’bout the Constitution?)

Society is indeed a contract…it becomes a partnership not only between those who are living, but between those who are living, those who are dead, and those who are to be born.

Maybe I’m just mad at media tonight, but . . .

September 23rd, 2004 by danimal

In preamble to a review of John Sayles’ new (and, by me, highly anticipated) film Silver City, Peter Travers of Rolling Stone writes these lines on the current state of anti-Bush cinema:

. . . aside from the all-puppet political satire Team America: World Police, due October 15th from South Park‘s Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the only new non-doc to bash Bush is {Silver City}.

For Christ’s sake, Travers: just because Parker and Stone are responsible for a foul-mouthed late-night cartoon does not mean they are in your corner.

Parker and Stone wear a good deal of the GOP line right on their sleeves. Based only on watching South Park, I can confidently say I differ with them on a half dozen hot-button issues. I agree on at least a half dozen others. Their right leaning views are certainly no secret.

I have not seen World Police yet, but from what I have heard it largerly bashes Kim Jong-Il and Michael Moore, not Bush. Peter Travers, I pronounce you ‘idiot.’ By mistaking Parker and Stone’s motives, you now actually have something in common with the Bush Administration.

Me to Register-Guard: A little less “outsourcing,” a little more “sourcing,” please

September 22nd, 2004 by danimal

Out at Nacho Rancho, we canceled our Register-Guard ‘scrip many months ago, so the sting of being irritated by that rag every time I look at it is not as numbed as it once was. Even so, I think this story from Tuesday is a special case of “good enough for Eugene” journalism:

Party’s outsourcing annoys Democrat

Aside from giving some local crank a chance to see his name in the paper, and allowing Oregon Republicans to make a little hay by smugly assuring us that, unlike those Democrats, they “don’t use out-of-state folks” (er, unless they “have to”), this article is an irredeemable bucket of out-of-context provincial slop.

The story, in a nut: Oregon Democrats hired an Illinois company to handle their fundraising calls. Some guy in Eugene received one of these fundraising calls from a call center monkey in Nebraska, who couldn’t even name said Eugene guy’s local representative! Incensed, Eugene guy called up the R-G and lo and behold it’s front-page news. How could Oregon Democrats “outsource” call center jobs, given Oregon’s dire economic state?

With some light research, this “scandal” could have quickly vanished into its reasonable context. Oregon Democrats hired the Illinois company because it specialized in fundraising for “grassroots PAC’s.” With me so far? Okay, hang on, it’s going to get crazy in here . . . ready?

There are call center companies in Oregon with specialties sought by political organizations in OTHER STATES! Not only that, those durned foreigners actually hire these Oregon companies for work on their dirty foreign campaigns.

Hence I, during the 2000 election, served as a call center monkey in an office in Portland, Oregon, conducting push polls for the Republicans in the exotic nation-states of Montana, Washington and Colorado. The company, Moore Information, specializes in such polls and caters largely to Republican and conservative organizations. So, like the Illinois company hired by Oregon Democrats, it offers a special product in demand from consumers in other states.

This, dear R-G, is what is known as “interstate commerce.” The USA, or hadn’t you heard, is a free trade zone, in which consumers make rational economic choices regardless of state borders for the benefit of every state. Oregon has a pretty vibrant call-center industry, and the “outsourcing” practiced by Oregon Democrats is balanced by “outsourcing” directed to Oregon call centers from political organizations in other states. Oregon’s economy may stink, but then again, I imagine Nebraska’s stinks too. Neanderthal protectionism is not the answer. If political organizations in other states, perhaps prodded by similarly provincial newspapers, were to do what this article suggests Oregon Democrats ought to do, Oregon businesses would suffer, would they not?

Please, dear R-G, in the future, refrain from immediately conjuring the “outsourcing” bogeyman when presented with a non-story about the orderly interstate trade we’ve been practicing since attaining statehood.