Perhaps Dan is right. Perhaps the Oregon Supreme Court would uphold gay marriage based on the notion that there are no “genuine” differences between gay couples and straight couples. And perhaps the ability of a normal heterosexual couple to produce progeny is too insignificant a detail for consideration. Oregon, after all, has very enlightened views on the termination of life: it has enacted assisted suicide, it is pro-choice, and the death penalty is in truth nonexistent in the state. So maybe the view of creating life is also enlightened to the point where such an ability is irrelevant.

If Oregonians decide through a vote to recognize the equal rights for all couples to marry, good; equal freedoms from government should be the goal for all citizens. But it would be absurd for the state’s Supremes to find that there are no genuine differences between a group that can naturally bear children and a group that cannot. There are those who would argue not all heterosexual couples can produce progeny, but that very small subset is created by a fluke of nature, whereas the latter must always rely the massive work of science and always require a third party. The fact that a third party is always required to produce progeny has truly astounding implications for the health of a union. The differences are important — and genuine. But anything, including an unhealthy reliance on judicial interpretation, can perhaps be rationalized in the search for the self-created glow of enlightenment.

When the gay marriage news came rolling out of Multnomah County yesterday, my first thought for where it might lead was, naturally, the Oregon Supreme Court. But the fact is, courts move deathly slow, and a couple other possibilities seem more likely in the interim.

First, the Legislature may get into the fray before the courts do and clarify the (again, horribly written) marriage statute to either include or exclude gay marriage. If that happens, the Court could still hold an exclusionary statute unconstitutional somewhere down the line.

Even more likely in this wacky state of ours, a ballot measure will come along to amend the constitution one way or the other. One can only imagine where that path might lead in “50/50” Oregon, but wherever it leads, the Court won’t be able to undo it. As Justice W. Michael Gillette put it yesterday, “It’s not our duty to set the policies we think are right. It doesn’t matter how stupid we, as a court, think a particular law or constitutional clause is — it’s our job to interpret and apply it.”

Oregon, by the way, does not have an activist Court. It has a very conservative (not in the political sense), precedent-loving Court that happens to be the only one in the nation to reach more than 90% of its decisions by full consensus. We may be one of the most free states in the union. But by and large, we got that way by constitutional design and democratic choice, not by judicial fiat.

However, if the Court does get to hear this issue (and it seems they’ll take it if we offer), my humble opinion is that they’ll uphold Multnomah County’s actions one way or another, based on the character of the Oregon constitution, and the “genuine difference” test established in Tanner v. OHSU (to deny insurance benefits to domestic homosexual partnerships, OHSU must have demonstrated a genuine difference between gay and straight couples, which they failed to do).

And now this.

_________________________________

Psst, Tim, just compile this shit.

Here’s the top 20 search phrases for the month of March so far, from our stats page:

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3 2 5.41% liv tyler glasses

4 2 5.41% liv tyler’s glasses

5 2 5.41% oregon commentator

6 1 2.70% annulments oregon

7 1 2.70% cancelling callwave

8 1 2.70% earth liberation front

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10 1 2.70% goatse guy’s famous anus

11 1 2.70% got a little captain in you

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13 1 2.70% jiggles tavern

14 1 2.70% lady who auction her virginity on ebay

15 1 2.70% liv tyler and reading glasses

16 1 2.70% liv tyler glasses oscar

17 1 2.70% liv tyler glasses oscars picture

18 1 2.70% liv tyler oscars glasses

19 1 2.70% liv tyler’s glasses at the oscars

20 1 2.70% mark ames movie review

Goatse guy? Jiggles? The captain? Every day is a party day at the Commentator.

Portland blogger WWP worries that gay marriage in Oregon may be shot down — not by its opponents — but by its supporters.

Regarding the clandestine meetings held by Multnomah County commissioners:

It may turn out that the closed-door process employed by County Chair Diane Linn and Co. is what will most threaten the future gay marriage in Multnomah County, if only because of the lack of transparency. The backroom approach appears to be irritating folks of all stripes, including those who might normally support the broadening of Oregon’s marriage laws. Open meetings laws still matter. A process of community input still matters. A legislative process that includes every commissioner still matters.

Thursdays With Tina is back – on a Thursday, no less – at Wonkette.

You know who you were. Happy Birthday to Tim. Hope these pics aren’t from your partying last night.

Despite the Daily Emerald’s lack of coherence when it comes to their political cartoons, it has run two well-written editorials in the past couple of days that hammer at the ASUO Executive and other members of the student government.

The editorial from Tuesday criticizes the “double taxation” that is placed upon students when they buy a ticket to an event that is funded, full or in part, with incidental fees. According to the Green Tape Notebook, University students are eligible for free entrance to any student event that is funded with incidental fees. However, events such as “The Vagina Monologues” and “China Night 2004” have been charging students for tickets.

The ASUO Executive, Senate and the UO Ticket Office have done nothing to notify students of this rule and their right to free entrance.

Today’s editorial discusses ASUO Vice President Eddy Morales and his involvement with the budget of ASUO Legal Services. Given the fact that Legal Services is currently representing Morales in his assault trial, it could be perceived that there would be a conflict of interest. When the Emerald raised that question with ASUO Spokeswoman Taraneh Foster, she told them that Morales had no role in the recommendation of Legal Services’ budget because, “…he wanted to make sure that there wasn’t a conflict of interest.”

However, Morales’ stance on the matter changed during a Senate meeting last week, where senators approved the Programs Finance Committee’s budget recommendations. The Emerald has been closely following Morales’ trial this term and — incidentally — has had to endure greater scrutiny of their budget than in previous years. The newspaper’s budget was the only one of 120 that was vetoed by the Executive. The Executive also recommended that the Senate reject the PFC budget based in part because of the Emerald’s budget allocation. When the Emerald Editor in Chief Brad Schmidt asked why Morales would not participate in Legal Services’ fiscal analysis, but would be involved with the Emerald’s budget, Morales responded by saying that he had not removed himself from the Legal Services’ budgetary process nor had even considered the possibility of a conflict of interest. This directly contradicts what Foster said earlier.

Take a look and decide for yourself whether the members of this year’s Executive have been handling their leadership positions in a responsible and honest manner.

In the wake of this illustration, “I could solve this problem by going home!” has become the new catchphrase of choice around my office, replacing our recent favorite “Darn you rebels!” (I’m not saying I know a good way to draw a humorous and/or informative cartoon about Haiti. I’m just saying that definitely wasn’t one.)

Coming soon: a tall, cadaverous man with “KERRY” written on his lapel stands before a crowd of cheering people labelled DEMOCRATIC PRIMARY VOTERS, one of whom has a thought balloon attached that says A MAJORITY OF US VOTED FOR KERRY. A speech bubble coming from KERRY’s mouth makes it clear that he WILL BE THE CANDIDATE FACING GEORGE W. BUSH IN NOVEMBER. And there’ll be a vulture somewhere in the background, I’m sure. Perhaps it will be labelled INTERN SCANDAL?, perhaps it will just be hanging out.

Since when did we start enlisting samurai to maintain security in Iraq? And when did they start using M16s?

A Portland-area media alert from today’s Daily Emerald:

Multnomah County officials will hold a news conference at 9 a.m. today at the county’s headquarters, and marriage licenses will be available at 10 a.m., according to news reports.

UPDATE: KATU 2 reports on the first of a growing number of gay couples who were married this morning.

<drudgereport>

Important breaking news regarding same-sex marriage in Multnomah County from the Portland Communique.

Two female caretakers allegedly dumped the body of a 56-year-old Astorian woman in a ravine, possibly to hide her body and continue to collect income for taking care of her. Prosecutors said it wasn’t clear if the woman was murdered, but police say that she was dead before she was put in a wheelchair and pushed down the hill. Both of the caretakers have extensive criminal histories.

James Bean, a University of Michigan professor and Beaverton high school graduate, will head the UO College of Business beginning this summer. Phil Romero, the current dean since 1999, said he is stepping down after accomplishing goals he set for the business school, including the construction of the new Lillis Business Complex.

Just an odd bit of news from the East Coast that, to my knowledge, Drudge Report didn’t catch:

A Pennsylvanian woman found her six-year-old daughter who had been presumed dead as an infant in a 1997 fire. The house fire was apparently set by a female acquaintance to cover up the kidnapping of the girl. The mother suspected her daughter was still alive when she attended the birthday party of a friend’s child and noticed that one girl had a striking resemblance to herself and her other children. She cut off some of the girl’s hair, telling the child that there was some gum stuck in it. DNA tests conducted on the hair by police confirmed her suspicions. The girl was taken into state custody, and the kidnapper fled before being questioned by police, leaving her own three children behind.

UPDATE: The kidnapper, who plead guilty to an earlier arson charge from 1996, has turned herself in to authorities.

Bret, presumably, was a little too worn out and busy from the working world to blog this, so I thought I’d go at it. TNR takes on Nader, and does a bang up job exposing what a worthless, egomaniacal twit he really is. Money quote as follows:

As Nader embarks upon his fourth protest run against the Democrats in as many elections, there is something slightly ridiculous about the shock of his liberal critics. They still don’t know who they’re dealing with. Nader is not a heroic figure tragically overcome by his own flaws; he is a selfish, destructive maniac who, for a brief historical period, happened upon a useful role.

Put that in your hooka and smoke it, hippie.