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Dope

November 4th, 2014 by Martin Hallstrom

Measure 91 passed tonight making recreational weed legal in Oregon. However, the measure won’t actually be in effect until the summer of 2015. We rejoice over this affirmation of personal freedom however, the government is always pretty good at fucking things up as seen in WA for example so this might be a complete shitshow in the end.

If You Don’t Vote then Don’t Whine!

November 3rd, 2014 by Neil Killion

I hear way too often people claim they do not vote because their vote does not matter. I understand the sentiment, as a conservative in Lane county I feel the same sometimes. The problem with this mentality though is that it results in an almost guaranteed victory for the other side. You might not win if you show up, but you are guaranteed to lose if you don’t.

The deadline to cast your vote in Oregon is 21:00 Tuesday November 4th. You can find your drop site on the Secretary of State’s site sos.oregon.gov.

There are a lot of close races and measures this time around so it is possible for your vote to count. If the stoners can put the munchies down long enough to cast their vote marijuana could become legal for those 21 and over. Third parties will become a thing of the past if Measure 90 passes. Illegal Immigrants will be allowed to get driver licenses and our Oregon driver licenses will become useless again if 88 passes. (We have to submit birth certificate, social, urine and blood sample to get out license now because it was too easy for illegals to gain a license). Oh and of course there is a measure to pass a constitutional amendment to further protect against gender discrimination (because federal amendments, employment law, and Supreme Court decisions are not enough).

The more important thing though is whether or not you are involved. If you are so disenchanted you have given up hope and refuse to vote then shut up and go to your corner while those that are involved get things done.

The OC ship is still floating.

October 21st, 2014 by Neil Killion

The OC is focusing on recruiting right now. We are working on an issue but it is a slower process with only a few at the oars. If your interested in being a writer or artist and getting published stop by the office Mondays at 6:00P.M in EMU South 137.

A short farewell

March 21st, 2014 by Martin Hallstrom

This is the last post and the last of anything by the Commentator that will be coming out of our office on the 3rd floor of the EMU. 30 years worth of things and memories are all boxed up and ready to be moved. This office has been our hub for the majority of our existence and it feels slightly eerie to be leaving a place where so much has happened. So many Commentators before us has gotten drunk and fought against deadlines in this office but now that is over.Don’t worry though, the Commentator is still alive and kicking. We’re just moving to our new offices in MacCourt where we will continue producing this magazine. Stop by sometime and say hi or tell us to go fuck ourselves.

Good Riddance EMU

The Ol’ Dirty

March 10th, 2014 by Martin Hallstrom

We were gonna say that the Emerald was starting to do better. The Ol’ Dirty had seemingly radically cut down on the number of bullshit articles(fluff!) which is a curse for us at the OC. Without a constant stream of bad journalism who are we supposed to make fun of!?! But relax, the Emerald is still as dirty as ever which the recent plagiarism/fabrication scandal shows. Don’t get us wrong, the OC is far from perfect, our magazine seems to copy edited by a blind dyslexic after all and during our 30 years of existence surely one of our writers made something up or screwed up. Shit happens but the Emerald seems to have more shit than others.

But the real story in today’s issue was the cover article about ASUO president Sam Dotters-Katz and Professor Bill Harbaugh.  Apparently the Emerald show of its journalistic integrity by publishing wild and unfounded accusations. Without any evidence or basis the Emerald still decides to print words that frame Harbaugh as having vandalized both Dotters-Katz’s and Ehlen’s car . Shit, even Ehlen himself says that it is “farfetched” that Harbaugh would have vandalized Ehlen’s car. Dotters-Katz is also quoted as saying “I don’t know if Bill did it personally. I’m not necessarily making that accusation…Even the professors I’ve talked to who hate Bill say this isn’t his M.O. I agree, but that’s not to say he’s not involved indirectly.”

Why the hell would you ever even print such wild indirect accusations? There are no grounds for it unless you count the personal feelings of two people towards a third as conclusive evidence. Naturally, we don’t know what happened and who did what to the cars and that’s the problem. That the Emerald knowingly perpetrates a person as a criminal even though there is no evidence besides the hunch of two people who are feuding with Harbaugh. The car incident should even be mentioned as there is no evidence and anything other than evidence found by the police investigation is just useless navel-gazing. But as usual the Emerald actually has a nugget of something interesting in the article but fuck interesting and important things when you can publish rumors and private beefs! Roughly 90 % of the article is spent prying into the personal issues between Sam Dotters-Katz and Harbaugh  while only the last part is actually devoted to the real issue; the lack of transparency within the University and many of its operations.

If the University has nothing to hide and everything is completely kosher then why is so much hidden and blocked out from the public? This sentiment can of course be used to justify the NSA’s spying scandal but the difference is that what we’re dealing with here isn’t a private matter, this is a public university and we as students have the right to know where our money goes and how it is spent. Simple as that, or so you would think but instead the Emerald shys away from the issues and becomes a gossip magazine that spews out shit worse than a frat boy after 20 natty ice and a pizza.

We’re fucking psyched about this development, keep being dirty Emerald!

OSPIRG: Relentless as ever to get their hands on our money

February 4th, 2014 by Thomas Tullis

It’s come to our attention here at The Oregon Commentator that OSPIRG is trying to work its dirty magic again. They don’t seem to understand that we voted them out and that they are no longer recognized as campus group. Yet they keep coming back like a hippie zombie that feeds on student money instead of brains.

OSPIRG recently submitted proposals regarding renewed funding of their group through the student I-fees. Again they want to take our money and use it for their own inefficient, naive and frivolous plans. The OC has always been a vocal opponent of OSPIRG. Not just because they are a bunch of dirty hippies that don’t shower but also because the OC stands for fiscal conservatism. That isn’t going to change any time soon so look forward to more coverage on OSPIRG and their renewed plans to take your money in the next issue of The Oregon Commentator, which will be out this coming week.

Until then,
Go Ducks and Fuck OSPIRG.

The Minds of Children in the Bodies of Adults

February 1st, 2014 by Martin Hallstrom

We’ve all heard stories. We’ve sat in class with them and seen them on campus. We’ve seen the tutors take notes and we are constantly reminded of how special they are every time we see the shiny glass cube that the Jaqua center is. We all know that student athletes aren’t like the rest of us, not just because they perform athletic feats but simply because they just don’t experience college the way we do. They are pampered by the university and the reason is simple; they make U of O a shit ton of money.

Recent light has been cast on the academic struggles of athletes at University of North Carolina. Instructor Mary C. Willingham published a thesis in 2009: http://libres.uncg.edu/ir/uncg/f/Willingham_uncg_0154M_10097.pdf, detailing some of the big problems that are involved in student athlete academics. Earlier this year, CNN corroborated a story with her which showed that “around 7%-18% of basketball, football students in many schools read poorly” aka below academic standards.(http://www.cnn.com/interactive/2014/01/us/college-scores/index.html,http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/07/us/ncaa-athletes-reading-scores/index.html). Willingham showed that between “8% and 10% of the school’s[UNC] football and basketball players are reading below a third-grade level.” Former UNC professor Madeline G. Levine also published an open letter in support of Willingham’s findings and to describe her own experiences with athletics at the school: http://media.charlotteobserver.com/smedia/2014/01/31/06/20/1lZoJJ.So.138.pdf. 

Now North Carolina is considered to be a premier institution of learning, way above U of O according to Forbes: http://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/list/,  and if academic dishonesty and fraud is happening there you can bet your sweet ass it is happening at our own fine University of Nike. The CNN study actually included University of Oregon and showed this:

“Football
— 35/245 athletes scored below 400 on the SAT verbal test.
— 52/194 athletes scored a 400 or lower on the SAT writing test.
— 20/87 athletes scored below a 16 on the ACT English test.

Men’s basketball
— 11 scored below a 420 on the SAT verbal test, with 18 scoring higher.
— 10 scored below a 410 on the SAT writing test, with 13 scoring higher.

Women’s basketball
— 11 scored below a 450 on the SAT verbal test, with 45 scoring higher.
— 11 scored below a 45o on the SAT writing test, with 35 scoring higher.

The average SAT verbal score of all students admitted to the University of Oregon in 2012 was 549.
The university said that between 2007 and 2012,there were no more than 90 athletes specially admitted to the University of Oregon, meaning they would not have otherwise been admitted on academics alone.”

Scoring below 450 on either the writing or the verbal SAT’s means that you’re going to be just above or below the worst 33% of all test takers. Which by any definition is not good at all. One can wonder how well these numbers mesh with our University’s own mission “The university is a community of scholars dedicated to the highest standards of academic inquiry, learning, and service”. We must clearly have very different definition of what the word “highest” means because letting in students who score in the bottom third of all SAT test takers is not my definition of “highest standards of academic inquiry”. Granted, the SAT isn’t an all encompassing measurement neither does it always accurately reflect a person’s intelligence or knowledge level but they are important to colleges yet they don’t really seem to matter if you’re a good athlete.

It is important to note that this isn’t an attack on the student athletes themselves. It isn’t the student athletes fault that they get an entire tutoring center dedicated to them while the rest of us congregate in PFC’s basement. It is not their fault that our University has a culture that allows people who aren’t qualified for college to come here. Neither is this an attempt to suggest that all student athletes are dumber or inferior to the rest of the student population. This is just an attempt to show that we are a part of a institution that uses and places people in terrible situations just for the sake of money. This is something we should be upset about but then again it is a lot easier and way more fun to cheer on for our teams and support this culture instead of looking the bleak truth in the eye.

Go Ducks

Journalists should be held accountable like you and me: A response to Kevin Sullivan

January 9th, 2014 by Thomas Tullis

Due to it’s timely matter, The Commentator has decided to publish this piece online. It will also appear in our physical publication later this month. 

On Monday, January 6th columnist Kevin Sullivan published an opinion column in the Daily Emerald that left a rather sour taste in my mouth. Of course, I’m not much of one to read the Emerald regularly (because I already know how to have fun in the snow in Bend and find an instruction manual for this not necessary), but when I happened upon Kevin’s most recent opinion piece “Athletes should be held accountable like you and me” I knew a response from The Commentator would be necessary. Of course, here at The Commentator, we couldn’t agree more with Kevin’s notion that athletes are a favored bunch throughout our national universities (and especially here at UO). Kevin, we commend your effort to put these athletes in their place and ensure that everyone is held accountable for their actions.

The problem with Kevin’s piece is his insight into the Jameis Winston rape case that was closed a little over a month ago in December. Writes Kevin:

         Imagine a case of sexual assault. A 9-11 call surfaces after a month of the case being in the mainstream news but a year after the survivor first reported the rape. The survivor has already identified the man who had raped her and DNA evidence had proven that he indeed had sex with her.
        This guy was obviously convicted right?
        Wrong.

Now hold it right there, Kevin. Why should this guy obviously be convicted? Based on the story you just told, I reached the conclusion that the man should obviously not be convicted! We’re supposed to think that DNA evidence proving that two people had sex is evidence of rape? Because there’s no such thing as consensual sex, right Kev?

I’m not here to argue against the innocence of Winston […] I’m here to state the truth writes Kevin right after conclusively referring to Winston as “the man who had raped her“. Welcome to America, where all are guilty until proven innocent… good thing our justice system doesn’t operate on the same rules that Kevin does.  All I’m saying is that we have words like “alleged” so that journalists can refer to the accused without definitively calling them, as Kevin does,  “the assailant“. Throughout his piece, it is clear that Kevin has made his mind up about the Winston case. He repeatedly refers to the accuser as “the victim” and contextualizes the story in a way that makes it obvious to us all that the tenant of “innocent until proven guilty” is only applicable until an Ol’ Dirty Emerald columnist decides that it is not. And all this in a piece where Kevin calls out the media for not properly framing a story and for “poorly reported stories“. Kev, we’re all beginning to drown in the irony here.

Of course, I cannot disagree with your main point that the accuser received a lot of hate from FSU fans and the public alike. Yes, that happened, but it does not determine whether or not Winston is guilty or not. Let’s be honest this rape allegation will always be tied in with Jameis Winston’s name as well. The truth is, there just was not enough evidence to convict Jameis of anything. This doesn’t mean that he isn’t a rapist, but (without concrete evidence) we will never know what happened.  Of course, since Kevin is already sure of his verdict, we invite him to pour through the case evidence that the state attorney released.

The point is, while there is nothing wrong with disagreeing with our judicial system, it’s ethically wrong to debase the innocent until proven guilty that our justice system is based on. Kevin, until you’re ready to present concrete evidence that Jameis Winston is a rapist, we cannot refer to him as one. And when you do have that concrete evidence, we highly encourage you to fax it over to the Tampa police so the case can be reopened.

It was not only Kevin’s absurdly definitive reporting of Winston’s guilt that infuriates us here at The Commentator. It seems like it would also be relevant to point out here that the opinion piece misreported a couple things. Writes Kevin:

[O]ne insightful anchor on “Good Morning America” put it on Dec. 12, “I just want this one to go away.”
Let me repeat that.
One of the anchors from ‘Good Morning America,” the leading morning show in America, said that he wanted the story of the Winston case to “go away.”

Good thing you repeated this twice, Kevin. Does that mean we can charge you with two accounts of false reporting? Take a look at the video that is being referenced, and I think it will be as clear to you as it was to me- Stephanopoulos says “They just want this one to go away.” Of course, by changing this one critical word you completely change the intention of Stephanopoulos’ comment. I see what you did there. Clever, Kev. Very clever.

Of course, why stop here? Let’s also get a source for those statistics you’re referencing. Writes Kevin: “the percentage of women who falsely report rape is very low and not any higher than any other false reporting of other crimes” I’ll forget about how terribly phrased this sentence is for a minute, so I can present some statistics:

Since 1996 “unfounded” rape accusations are reported by the FBI to be around 8%, while other index crimes have been around 2%.  Of course, “unfounded” does not necessarily mean “false allegation”. It is almost impossible to discover the true percentage of false rape accusations, but many estimate that they are higher than index crimes. Of course, I’m guessing Kevin found his statistics in “Against Our Will”. Nice. Very reliable source, Kev.

“Football should not trump […] our judicial system” writes Kevin in conclusion to his article. Let us remind you, Kev, that bad journalism should not trump our judicial system either.

Alright, kiddos, that’s all we’ve got until we hear back from Kevin. In the meantime let’s all remember that everyone accused of rape is guilty, especially if there isn’t enough evidence to prove it.

Thomas Tullis

The OC is turning 30

July 28th, 2013 by Neil Killion

This year the Oregon Commentator is turning thirty and we are looking for thoughts and memories from past Commentators.  Send those thoughts and memories to editor@oregoncommentator.com and publisher@oregoncommentator.com. In your emails please include the years you were at the OC and where you are now if possible.

Neil Killion

Publisher

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: Zimmerman, Stand Your Ground, and the Racial Circus

July 25th, 2013 by Neil Killion

A Neighborhood Watch leader follows a suspicious character in the neighborhood and after being assaulted, and having his skull repeatedly bashed into the concrete, shoots and kills the assailant.  Most people reading that would probably respond differently than the way some have responded to the media circus and lynching of George Zimmerman.  What about this situation is worthy of the hype and uproar that has been thrust upon us for the last year?  Nothing!  The same situation happened elsewhere only it was a black Neighborhood Watch person and white assailants and surprise surprise, no uproar.

The Stand Your Ground law has been paraded about as another villain in this event, yet it had nothing to do with the event.  Unfortunately, not even our supposed constitutional scholar president is able to understand a very simple law.  Stand Your Ground says that if you are legally allowed to be somewhere and someone threatens your life you are able to defend yourself without first retreating.  In other words if I pull a knife or gun on you while you are walking down the street you can use deadly force (read gun) to defend yourself.  You do not have to turn and run.  You can stand your ground, hence the name of the law.  Now in the Zimmerman case, his head was being bashed into concrete.  Retreating is not an option at that point.  This was purely self defense.  He was not able to retreat once his life became endangered.  Mr. Martin was not unarmed, he was using the concrete as a weapon.

The ugly part of this was the race baiting that went on by those in the media and the White House.  “If I had a son he would look like Trayvon.”  I seriously doubt that a child of a president would be thugged out, smoking weed, and getting suspended from school for criminal activity.  Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson just showed their ability to profit off a tragedy as usual.  Why is it that this was considered a white on black crime when Zimmerman is half Peruvian?  Oh but Barack Obama is black even though he is half white.  In the eyes of some race is the only issue and no matter what it must have played a role.  It was the fact that Martin was black, not that he looked like a thug in an area that had seen a spike in break ins, that got him followed.

Now onto the head shake aspect.  It is sad to see how many people suck at the teat of celebrities that they blindly accept and follow what ever their favorite celebrities spout.  Zimmerman is an evil bastard and Trayvon Martin was a poor innocent thug.  No one stopped to question why this case was being pushed over numerous other cases where a black youth was killed.  They just continued on with the talking points of the hypocrites who think it is wrong for you and I to defend ourselves while they have armed security guards to protect them.

Prop 8 Problems

June 26th, 2013 by Neil Killion

I would caution the cheering crowds that view the Supreme Court’s refusal to rule on Prop 8 to step back for a moment.  This ruling raises some red flags, and I hope that those opposing Prop 8 can understand that.

Prop 8 made same-sex marriage illegal in California.  It was voted on by the people and passed.  The Governor then refused to enforce it.  Whether or not you agree with same-sex marriage is irrelevant.  The process of direct democracy that so many on the left supposedly believe in was dealt a blow today.

If the governor does not agree with the people’s decision then he does not need to listen.  In the future, when the same people that are championing this decision are in the majority and the governor is on the opposing side, the governor will not have to listen to their votes.  That should raise major concerns for them because in getting a victory, they are also getting a defeat.

The court did not rule that same-sex marriage should be legal, only that the plaintiff did not have the standing to bring the case before the court.  If it had been brought up as a voters’ right issue it is possible it may have resulted in a different decision.

 

Neil Killion

DOMA Unconstitutional

June 26th, 2013 by Neil Killion

While many of you may have been caught up in the joyous revelations that the Ducks will not be banned from the bowls this year, the court handed down a major decisions regarding gay marriage today.

The Defense Of Marriage Act (DOMA) was ruled unconstitutional in a 5-4 opinion.  The Supreme Court ruled that if you live in a state that recognizes gay marriage the federal government cannot deny federal benefits.  It does not rule whether or not gay marriage itself is legal, just that the federal government cannot discriminate against gay couples in those states that do recognize gay marriage.

Although this is a victory for same-sex couples, it is also a victory for states’ rights.  The state’s law held supremacy over the federal law in this case.  If the state recognizes same-sex marriage then the federal government cannot deny those couples benefits.  This may pave the way for other states’ rights issues in the future.

Neil Killion

Progressive probs’ bitches

June 12th, 2013 by Martin Hallstrom

 

Some news  about the ASUO reached our ears. Sure we were pretty drunk so it was barely audible.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             But apparently our dear friends in the ASUO are involved in some in/fighting. Frankly that’s awesome news to us at the OC.
We love watching those greedy, self-centered vultures fight amongst themselves. The reason for this infighting is a Tumblr page that contains memes and jokes made by the self-proclaimed “progressives” of the ASOU senate, mostly on the account of the conservatives in the senate and Taylor Allison.
Finally the ASUO is emulating congress! Fuck bi-partisanship and efficiency, let’s all just observe our differences instead of finding common ground. Because the ASUO senate isn’t already a rotten, bloated, ineffective, cesspool of waste, opportunism and stupidity right?

Link to the blog: Site

Eugene Public Meetings [week of Feb.24]

February 23rd, 2013 by Nick Ekblad

Someone cares about the Oregon Commentator as much as they care about Eugene: they sent us the Public Meetings Calendar. Shout out to Chuck! How thoughtful!

Tyler’s 21st

February 6th, 2013 by Tyler Millette

11:13. Beer pong. My partner and I were up by seven. The other team miraculously got nine cups in one turn and won. Bullshit!

11:25. Snapchatting for dayyyyyyzzzzz

11:29. Ishwvekapzoxb

11:59. Is it twelve yet?

12:06. RENNIES LEMONADE

11:33. ” Gary Johnson sucks at running. That’s why he lost the election”

11:37. Fuzzy sound. Not boiling water. Just the radio. Dawson rocks. 104.7 FM

11:40. With backflips.

12:16 drunk. Awesome.

12:37 tots@@@ fox I love ranch

11:47. Jackets on, heading out!

12:43 what the duck is house of cards? I wanna watch Walking Dead

12:55 vodka and lemonade and taylors. Drunkkkkkkk and I have a midterm tomorrow ay ten, paper dye at 830. Fuck yeah

1:01 off to Max’s

1:08 Free popcorn !!!!!+! And apparently a peR cider. Yum I’m drunk

1:09 just ate a tree

1:17 on a scale of one to dry.I’m k Tailgating

1:20 mother fucking pears and popcorn

1:21 crying for America

1: 24 god Damn America Lizzy is the best

1:25 Eric Wiltshire for president

1:26 this is the beat 21st birthday everrrreee go commentator!

1:29 far Johnson for Americai don’t know what liveblog is.o Yeahbiddy

1,30 I am the Gary Johnson of liveblog

1:32 flip off my POS friends on a scale of 1 -2 I am Gary Johnson .

q:35 the golf of Mexico

1:37 Pooping at max’s. 1:38. God Damn I love America fuck yeah alcohol

1:40. Pulled the dry towel all the way out… Oops QQ

1:41 sousaphone, bitch

1:43 fuck yeah UO.

1:44. Fu,k yeah wTer. Heading home