Have you checked the sobriety record of George W. Bush? It’s exactly like Dean’s–the wild years, the quitting when he got married–except Bush blames Jesus, which to me makes it worse. Sorry to play Devil’s advocate, but come on!

In principle, I agree with you–as Humprey Bogart said: “Don’t trust a man who doesn’t drink.” But let’s be consistent.

After he got married, “I quit drinking,” he writes. “When I drank, I would drink a lot and do outrageous things, and then I wouldn’t drink again for a while. I realized that what was very funny when you’re 18 is not very funny when you’re 30. I had a terrible hangover after my bachelor party, which didn’t help. So I quit. Drinking served no useful purpose in my life, and I just got tired of it. I haven’t had a drink in over 22 years.”

22 years? 22 YEARS!?!?!?!???!!! This is not a man who should lead. Leaders need to relax, have a drink, calm the hell down. I don’t want some anti-trade teetotaler sitting with his finger on the button. I don’t trust a man who won’t imbibe on an occasional basis. What a wuss.