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Archive for November, 2008

On Non-inclusive, Patriarchal Diseases

November 28th, 2008 by CJ Ciaramella

In case you thought it was just the ASUO who were complete idiots:

Students at an Ottawa university are pulling out of a Canada-wide fundraiser that provides close to $1 million a year for cystic fibrosis research and treatment, arguing that the disease “has been recently revealed to only affect white people, and primarily men” — something experts say is untrue.


The student council motion stated that orientation week “strives to be inclusive” and “all orientees and volunteers should feel like their fundraising efforts will serve their diverse communities.”

I have trouble believing this is real and not some sort of bad parable constructed by an Ayn Rand zombie.

Thanks to OC alum Michael for the tip.

Ol’ Dirty Provides Helpful Tips to Graduating Seniors

November 25th, 2008 by Ian

Put that Sociology degree to use with the ODE‘s handy guide to panhandling, released just in time for our global financial market meltdown.

Praying: Reading the Bible and praying can distract from the fact that a person is begging. It attracts attention, but not necessarily in a negative way.

Women versus men: Women inspire more pity because people assume they are mothers or more delicate than men. However, more men panhandle, so statistically, they make more.

Be professional: Treat panhandling as a job. For most people who are begging, it’s the only option they have. If you are in this situation, be professional and work hard because it’s likely the only job you have and it’s probably your only income.

Of course it wouldn’t be an Emerald story unless the reporter interviewed one or two people. In this case, the money interviewee is “Huggy” Miller, who offers the following advice to future UO graduate panhandlers:

Miller begins the song, “May I beg your pardon my Lord,” and it continues in a lilting British accent than contrasts oddly with his round, scruffy face and flame-covered bandana. He considers his ditty an icebreaker, and said asking for change or holding a sign will only bring in coins, while a song or a rhyme brings in the bills.

Miller said he sleeps down by the river, on church steps or in people’s homes when they offer. Besides paying for food and cigarettes, his panhandling money is currently going toward a big splurge – a night in a hotel.

Yes, learn to fake a British accent and spend your money on cigarettes and hotel rooms. Now there’s some advice you can bank on in a recession.

A More Solid Defense

November 24th, 2008 by CJ Ciaramella

In light of the increase of attacks on campus, today’s front page story on the OL’ DIRTY is a piece on self-defense. Although the article advises using everything from hot coffee to car antennas (antenni?) as weapons, I did notice one seemingly obvious omission. Therefore, I present this as an alternative to concerned students:

Thanks to OC Publisher Guy for showing this to me. Also, here’s Monty Python’s classic take on self-defense.

Archives Updated

November 24th, 2008 by Timothy

The OC Archives for Volumes 16 and 17 have been updated. Old HTML versions of issues that are not presently available in .pdf have been linked in from the darkwing server. Enjoy!

Party Patrol Storms Campbell Club

November 24th, 2008 by CJ Ciaramella

On Saturday the Eugene Police Department raided a party at the Campbell Club, one of the student co-op houses, after receiving a tip that there was an illegal number of kegs on the premises. From the R-G:

When police arrived, residents refused to allow officers entry into the residence. Police obtained and served a search warrant a little before 3 a.m. Sunday. Police said they located the five kegs, and also found several minors who were hiding in various rooms throughout the house as well as in the attic.

Police broke down several doors that were locked from the inside to gain entry into the rooms, said Lt. Angie San Miguel, one of the officers at the scene.

Police cited 15 individuals as minors in possession of alcohol, and issued 21 citations for noise disturbance and 11 for furnishing alcohol to minors. Four were lodged at Lane County Jail on charges that included interfering with a police officer.

According to several sources, there was an undercover cop present. Also, the Campbell has allegedly been issued thousands of dollars in fines. The party was an end-o’-year bash for the regional ultimate frisbee teams. From what I understand, the UO men’s ultimate team rented out the basement of the building. If this is true, the ultimate team is up the proverbial creek, especially if they used club funds to buy the kegs. (But, hey, you’d have to be complete moron to do something like that, right?)

My sources also said that some of the kegs were allegedly rented to a fake address (a big no-no). I’ll try and verify this more tomorrow.

Moving on to more concrete information, there’s already a Facebook group for two of the arrested Cambpell Club members, “Free the Alder St. 2“. (Why do only protesters and bank robbers get to have cool numerical distinctions?) There is a picture of some of the busted doors here (Facebook login required). It was apparently quite the kerfuffle between the co-op kids and the EPD. Once again, the R-G:

Ian Royer, 24, one of the four lodged in jail, said he went outside to ask police what was going on that he was immediately handcuffed and then forced to wait outside, with about eight others, for more than two hours as police sought to obtain a search warrant.

“We were freezing, and they would not let us urinate,” he said. “It may seem trivial not to be able to pee, but when your bladder is about to explode it is really awful and does not feel human at all.”

Royer, a UO senior, said he was wearing a T-shirt and was denied warmer clothing. He said he believes police refused to let him and others urinate so that they would agree to let them search the premises without a search warrant. He said it’s completely appropriate for citizens to demand a warrant before allowing police to enter a private residence.

He and others asserted that another resident, Aaron Nelson, was smashed against a wall and arrested as he tried to record the scene on videotape.

I’m not a particular fan of cooperative living or ultimate frisbee, but is this what the EPD should be spending the majority of its manpower on? According to several reports, there were 12 cop cars at the Campbell Club. Meanwhile, Eugene still has a ridiculous amount of property theft, not to mention a downtown rendered almost uninhabitable by roving packs of street urchins.

On Not Quite GETTING It…

November 23rd, 2008 by Vincent

There’s a guest post up on Blue Oregon called “The 2nd Amendment is for Progressives Too” by someone who self-describes as “a progressive libertarian, someone who used to be welcome in the Republican Party.” A promising headline, I suppose, but unfortunately the post itself displays a fundamental ignorance of the actual motivations underlying conservative critiques of gun control legislation.

After some obligatory paranoia (“He explained to me that if our freedoms are taken away, it will come from the right, not the left, and maybe progressives are the ones who should be a little paranoid.”), the author, Peter Hall, goes on to make some curious assertions about the point of the Second Amendment:

Our founding fathers understood this, and I believe the 2nd amendment was designed specifically to allow military style weapons in the hands of the public…  it is clear to me that our founders were not thinking of hunting rifles when they wrote the amendment.

The Democratic Party has a major opportunity to make the West blue (with the exception of Utah, that religion thing). Truly embrace responsible gun ownership, and we take a big weapon away from the right wingers (lame pun intended). [emphasis added]

A couple of things, here:

First off, just what sort of weaponry does he imagine the founders were thinking of when the Second Amendment was written, if not “hunting rifles”? It’s not as if there was a whole lot of distinction between “military-style” weapons and firearms that might be used for hunting in the late 18th Century. Hall’s distinction seems arbitrary, to say the least.

Second, I’m not sure that someone who conceives of Second Amendment rights as something to be adopted solely for the purpose of “[taking] a big weapon away from the right-wingers” and “making the West blue” really quite “gets” it.

The Second Amendment is not a “wedge” issue. The right to keep and bear arms is a right guaranteed by the Constitution.  It’s not about “blue” or “red”. Nevertheless, while Hall might be a bit misguided, I’m hesitant to be too hard on someone who wants to finally pull the Democrats closer to a position that respects the Second Amendment. That’s more than can be said about some of the people in his comments section, who have such perceptive things to say as:

“On a day where the newspaper talks about how we’re supposed to make a bunch of noise and wear bright orange clothes when we’re out hiking (thereby destroying the solitude and beauty) because hunters are accidentally killing people, a post celebrating guns.”

“One can responsibly use a gun about as easily as one can responsibly drive a tank down a sidewalk.”

“Europeans seem to manage to get by without personal arsenals. Perhaps the difference was explained by Michael Moore in “Sicko.” In France the government fears the people. In America the people fear the government. So what will they do with all their guns? There may come a day when some people wake up and realize they are under a fascist dictatorship and call for a charge on the barricades…”

“… when the NRA starts advocating for public education and living-wage jobs, and stops worrying that the gummit gonna take away their armor-piercing ammo, then we might be getting somewhere.”

It goes on in that vein. One can only help but feel that people with the sort of views as Mr. Hall have a long way to go before they can overcome the reflexive and frankly ignorant anti-gun reactions of their fellow “progressives”.

“Das Kapital: The Manga” and the Stench of Revolution

November 22nd, 2008 by Vincent

Just when you thought the enemies of the free market couldn’t possibly get any more crass in their efforts to make piles of money selling communist chic garbage to complete idiots comes the Che Guevara candle! Yes! For only $75.00 (!), you too can buy a piece of revolutionary ambiance:

In a hotel of Havana, sizzling under the stubborn sun of the Revolution, fierce overtones of leather and tobacco meddle with waxy silence of wood. Breaking out of the cool dimness, sly grimaces emerge, framed by the smoke of cigars and the barrels of guns.

I’m not entirely sure what “the waxy silence of wood” and “sly grimaces” are supposed to smell like, but I’m sure it’s fucking awful.

I guess the complaints of Che’s offspring have gone thus far unheeded.

In other news, Karl Marx’s (in)famous tome Das Kapital has been turned into a comic book by a Japanese publisher:

The ambitious comic rendering of Das Kapital is designed to parcel the complex economic theories of Marx’s hefty original in a format which Japanese adore digesting their information from; it will also be compressed into a size that can be slipped discretely into a Chanel evening bag

What kind of communist totes a Chanel evening bag?

(H/T: Radley Balko & Norm Geras)

Police Email: Pornstore Bandits

November 21st, 2008 by CJ Ciaramella

Here’s an interesting little email we got from the EPD regarding the robbery of an adult store:

Eugene police responded to the report of an armed robbery at 720 Garfield Street in Eugene. The two suspects entered the adult store at approximately 11:50 pm and ordered the two employees to the ground at gun point. The suspects stole an undisclosed amount of cash and merchandise before exiting the store. The employees were not injured during the incident. The suspects left the location in an unknown direction after the robbery.


Both subject’s coats were described as “puffy”.

And merchandise? I can almost imagine the robbers’ thought process. “Well … as long as we’re here.” And so the puffy-coated highwaymen fled into the night, arms full of rubber vaginas and bukkake porn.

OC on Pajamas TV

November 20th, 2008 by CJ Ciaramella

Yesterday I had the pleasure of being on Pajamas TV, part of Pajamas Media, for a discussion of conservatism on college campuses. View the whole megillah here. (Sorry, no embedding.) OC alum Owen Rounds is the producer over at Pajamas TV, in case you’re wondering how a schlub like me pulled that off.

P.S. You can see the top of Sudsy’s head (literally, the frothy carbonation) peeking into the shot as well.

No Kidding?!

November 20th, 2008 by Vincent

 Shocking news!

The other statistic that emerged from a study of active killers is that they almost exclusively seek out “gun free” zones for their attacks.

In most states, concealed handguns are prohibited at schools and on college campuses even for those with permits.

Many malls and workplaces also place signs at their entrances prohibiting firearms on the premises.

Now tacticians believe the signs themselves may be an invitation to the active killers.


 As soon as they’re confronted by any armed resistance, the shooters typically turn the gun on themselves.

A ringing endorsement of the clearly effective institution of the “gun free zone” if ever I’ve heard one.

(h/t: Instapundit)

Take Those Kulaks Down a Peg or Two!

November 20th, 2008 by Vincent

Over at Blue Oregon, Chuck Sheketoff joins the “spread the wealth” chorus:

Today’s revenue forecast shows that Oregon is in a revenue crisis, not a spending crisis. The Governor and legislators should address it with revenue solutions.


Oregon should turn first to its reserves, but these reserves will not be adequate… the state would still be far from having enough money to provide the services Oregonians demand and need. [emphasis added]

So… the state is far from having enough money to provide the services it’s promised to citizens, but somehow the problem is not that the state is spending too much, it’s that it’s not taking enough money from taxpayers.

Times are tough, though. The economy’s not doing so well at the moment, so squeezing  the regular guy probably won’t be popular. Thankfully, Oregon has an under-utilized resource that it can exploit: rich people!

The most effective policy for raising revenue in this recessionary context is get revenue from those with the greatest ability to pay — both wealthy individuals and large, profitable corporations. That’s where the money is.

A tax increase on very wealthy individuals, who are best able to ride out the economic storm, would tap money that would more likely be saved rather than spent.

Another good option is to raise revenue from those profitable, large corporations, most of which are located out of state, who today escape paying their fair share of Oregon’s taxes. [emphasis added]


Senate Meeting For 11/19/08

November 19th, 2008 by CJ Ciaramella

Note: This post was edited on 12/6/10 by Editor-in-Chief Lyzi Diamond. The link to the PDF of the Nathan Perley grievance has been changed to a link to the Con Court’s webpage where those grievances are stored.

Additionally, this information is added:

Senate Treasurer Nathan Perley was found NOT guilty on all allegations as evidenced by the ASUO Con Court opinion attached below. According to the Court’s assertions, the accusations against Senator Perley were “without merit…inconclusive or clearly rebutted by evidence submitted by the Respondent [Senator Perley].”

Senate Treasurer Perley completed a full and complete tenure pursuant to rules postulated by the ASUO.

Here’s the breakdown of the Senate meeting tonight:

  • A grievance was filed by our own Michelle Haley against Sen. Nate Perley for 11 counts of non-fulfillment of duties. Whoops! Read the document here (scroll down to 6 C.C.).
  • Senate approved a seven percent ACFC benchmark … even though the ACFC recommended a 13 percent decrease. The Senate, in their infinite wisdom, wanted to maintain the LTD bus service that is currently on the chopping block. Never mind the fact that a seven percent increase will still not be enough to satiate LTD. That’s some good governin’ there, kiddos.
  • Sen. Jones said that she recently discovered she is a “Marxist-feminist.” Good for you!
  • Senate approved a 5.35 percent PFC benchmark, which was the PFC Board’s recommendation. There was a brief (and by brief I mean hour-long) discussion about whether to compromise between the PFC Board and the Exec’s 4.6 percent recommendation, but it was dropped. Members of the PFC Board said several times their benchmark recommendation was the ceiling, and they would most likely come in under that figure. Outside in the hall, I overheard Sen. Schultz say that he would resign if the PFC went over the benchmark. Holdin’ you to that, buddy.
  • During the benchmark discussion, ASUO Exec Sam Dotters-Katz brought up the fact that the UO has the highest incidental fee per capita in the country, to which Sen. Weintraub exclaimed, “And I think that’s great!” Sen. Nix was the only one at the table who appeared troubled by the ever-growing I-fee.
  • Senate approved a seven percent EMU benchmark.
  • Quote of the meeting: when Senate President McCafferty asked everyone to “please refrain from intense rustling” when he called to vote.

Once again, I also send live updates of Senate meetings via Twitter, so check that out if you have some sort of masochistic love of the ASUO.

Global Warming Steams Up ODE Comment Threads

November 19th, 2008 by CJ Ciaramella

A couple of days ago, the Ol’ Dirty Emerald ran a huge front page story reporting the horrifying truth that (brace yourself) some scientists don’t think global warming is man-made. It even included a provocative headline, “A global farce?”

Needless to say, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. I even have it on good authority that one of the ODE’s delivery boys was fired after refusing to distribute the offending issue. And then came this priceless letter to the editor by a young Mr. Tim Reams:

When Ms. Hoffman and Ms. Chase seek journalism careers after graduation, I hope they will show the courage of their convictions and proudly sport this example of their work to potential employers. Time will tell how the world will view this kind of a story, written at the end of 2008. My guess, though, is that such work will be lumped, if it isn’t already, with those that hung on to such theories as “tobacco doesn’t cause cancer,” “the Holocaust never happened,” and “some races are intellectually superior to others.” I find the denial of human-caused global warming just as offensive.

So if denying anthropogenic global warming is the ethical equivalent of denying the Holocaust, that means those who cause global warming are the same as … NAZIS! Oh, Godwin, you win again!

Students Accuse Professor of Racism, Professor Sues [updated 11/18]

November 17th, 2008 by Vincent

It’s a story that sounds like it could’ve come from the University of Oregon: a law professor got on the wrong side of a group of minority students and found himself on the receiving end of a bunch of bogus racism charges intended to smear his reputation and drag his name through the dirt.


Alright, children …

November 14th, 2008 by CJ Ciaramella

ASUO Sen. Nathan Perley came into the office complaining because people are writing comments on this blog using his name. If y’all want to trash talk anonymously and act like 5th graders, whatever. But sock-puppeting is actually kind of malicious, and if it keeps happening, I will bring down the hammer.

Seriously, this is why I burn with rage against the ASUO.