As this decade (the Twenty-oughts) comes to a close, the Commentator will inevitably examine the impact of several movements, from politics to pop culture, from the last ten years. In kind, much has happened over the last ten years to the Commentator itself, and I believe it to be important, dear readers, for you to learn about who we were at the turn of the century, if only to better understand who we are today.
Perfecting the Art
Just one month before the turn of the century, the Oregon Commentator was in some relative hot water over a front cover they had ran purporting then University of Oregon President Dave Frohnmayer to have died. Frohnmayer famously had a heart attack at a medical conference in Bethesda, Maryland but had escaped the ordeal relatively unharmed.
At the time, “Das Frohn” was rather upset about the cover, “Quite frankly, he was pissed off,” said then-OC editor Bill Beutler.
There was an article in today’s New York Times that detailed a new video game REO Speedwagon released today titled REO Speedwagon: Find Your Own Way Home. The article has its ridiculous moments, my favorite was this:
“I remember the first time I saw a pinball machine with Kiss,” [REO Speedwagon’s manager] added. “This is a 21st-century version.”
The game wouldn’t sound so ridiculous if the screenshot given with the article didn’t look like my grandmother’s bridge club had been painted into a Thomas Kincaid print.
Personally I’m just waiting for a GG Allin-themed video game. I can see it now: Murder Junkies
As we approach Saturday let us take into account that Halloween has been a historically bad day for Eugene. Riots in the early 2000’s and late 90’s on Halloween night have been a catastrophe–just wait until you mix in a night game at Autzen coupled with the emotional high/low of the potential outcomes. The Commentator is no stranger to the riots. A former unnamed staffer is on the front cover of a late-90’s Daily Emerald ripping up a stop sign. It’s fun for the whole family.
It doesn’t help that, according to today’s front page article in the Emerald, the Bias Response Team was called when a student organized a “blackout Autzen” facebook group. Reactionists and non-sports fans alike came together to question the student’s motivation for the event and its “racial implications”.
Sudsy’s first appearance, Summer 2001, Vol. 18, Issue 15
Today is the birthday of our beloved mascot, Sudsy O’Sullivan. He was brewed one drunken night at Rennie’s–concocted from the clip art of a mug of beer, the arm from Baby Herman (of Who Shot Roger Rabbit? fame) and the face of the Kool-Aid man.
A replacement for the Commentator‘s “original” mascot, Kevin Smith’s “Buddy Jesus” from Dogma, Sudsy was immediately accepted by staffers and readers alike after his incorporation. He’s gone through a lot in his lifetime, including momentarily dying one summer when trying to turn himself into a giant boilermaker for the Commentator staffers. Truly, his giving knows no bounds.
Here’s to you, Sudsy! May this year be better than the last–and with more prarie fires.
Since CNN and MSNBC have been eulogizing Ted Kennedy for the past 78 hours straight – apparently having a talent for demagoguery and maintaining power make you an American hero – I thought I’d share a little remembrance of Ted that I heard from a friend of mine who’s worked in the restaurant industry in D.C. for a while:
A friend of hers worked at the New Heights restaurant, where Ted often dined and drank … and drank some more. (According to said friend, he would order tumblers filled to the rim with bourbon.) Anyways, one time this lady saw Ted Kennedy scratch his back with his butterknife … and then proceed to stick the same knife in his bottle of ketchup.
It’s been forty years. No one cares. The world does not — and never did — revolve around you. So please scurry off and die already, and take your self-serving myth-making right along with you.
Scientists brew beer derived from 9,000-year-old recipe. The stuff’s going to be marketed by Dogfish Head, which means here in Eugene we’ll probably stand a reasonable chance of finding it on the shelves at Market of Choice, Sundance, the Bier Stein, or some other place that stocks specialty beers. The Beer Babe Blog has a review of the stuff, being sold under the name “Chateau Jiahu”, describing it thusly:
It’s pretty cloudy and smells like sweet grapes, with an amber color and some carbonation that isn’t overwhelming but reminds you that it isn’t wine. I think this would be a good candidate for aging, and I am hankering to have this on a moonlit summer night for some reason.
It is very smooth, not overly sweet but the honey is a delightful compliment.
No word yet on how much it’s going to cost, but being Dogfish Head, I’m sure it’ll come in a 12-oz. bottle and won’t be cheap.
Posted in Booze, World | Comments Off on Just in Time for Summer
There is no training manual for being a legislator. You don’t have a boss, you have 60,000 voters. Heck, you don’t even have an official job description to fall back on.
Like many jobs, this is one you learn by doing. As my second legislative session draws to a close, I can assure you that I am still learning.
Well, golly. It’s nice to know Ben’s learned something from this massive waste of taxpayer dollars. I guess now that he’s got a little experience under his belt, he realizes what a terrible idea his proposal was, and has abandoned any illusions of trying to resurrect it, right?
Absolutely not… I have tried to apply the above lessons to a new version of the tax.
The first thing on his list of reasons why we need to increase the tax?
Oregon hasn’t raised its beer tax in more than 30 years.
One of the posts in the comments section put it nicely:
I love the rationalization the just because a tax hasn’t been raised in awhile it is your profound duty to see that it be raised.
AK Breniman, OC alumn from way back and author of one of the best pieces of EPD investigative journalism (page 6) I’ve seen, has opened a fine boozing establishment!
The Verdict Bar & Grill is located in the bustling metropolis of Oregon City and just opened recently. I heard a rumor that even the mysterious RR “Pete” Hunt has made an appearance. I’ll be dropping in sometime in July, but show some loyalty and hit the place up if you’re local. Or in Eugene. 100 miles is not too far to drive home, trust me.
Have you seen that student publication around campus that talks about drinking, calls people ol’ polecats and rips on the Daily Emerald? Obviously I’m talking about The Comic Press.
Still smarting from its dodgeball defeat at our hands, the Comic Press has once again thrown down the gauntlet and challenged us to a keg race to be held no later than June 14. (You might remember when some of the Comic Press staff made an appearance at our last keg race.) An official OC response is forthcoming.
In any case, I won’t be attending. I’ll be in Prague drinking real pilsner and generally enjoying not being anywhere near Eugene. And frankly, a keg race would be a little pedestrian after our recent victory party, where we and our friends killed three kegs, at least eight bottles of various hard alcohol, about ten bottles of champagne and a few banana creme pies. But hey, good luck with that.
Yesterday the Oregon House of Reps narrowly passed HB 3122, also known as the “honest pint” bill, that would give state-issued stickers to bars that serve true 16-oz pints.
Seems like the state legislature could spend their time doing more important things, but at least you’ll know when you’re getting a honest-to-God pint. Of course, this would be moot if bars would just serve pints in mason jars, the way the good lord intended.
Money quote from a state rep:
“It’s a little past 10:30 here, but it’s 5 o’clock somewhere,” said Rep. Jules Bailey, D-Portland, in opening his pitch.
Dumbass comment award:
Now you won’t get ripped off when you drink until you turn gray, ruin your marriage, lose your job, drive drunk etc. I can think of a number of issues that elected officials could spin their wheels on rather than feeding addiction. What’s next, making sure you don’t get shorted buying meth? Now lets hear from all the alcoholics applauding this nonsense.
Clap, clap clap! Thanks to OC alum Ian Spencer for the tip.
Senator Carolyn Tomei has introduced a new bill to the Oregon Senate Tuesday proposing a law that would make cigarette butt littering illegal. The law is proposing a fine of $90 dollars and possibly 60 days of community service.
Opponents are calling it a waste of time, and I have to agree. Oregon is going through its worst unemployment rating in twenty years and a budget crisis that will lead to state agencies being cut by 20% . It seems the Oregon government is more into pet projects than helping out our failing economy.
