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Archive for May, 2007

Anyone up for a game of oppression?

May 31st, 2007 by Niedermeyer

If these things aren’t supposed to be made fun of, why are they so damn funny?

Money quote: “The Game of Oppression is an educational tool. It is in the form of a game, but not a game of amusement.”

Never would have guessed.

Senate Meeting: 5/30/07

May 30th, 2007 by Blaser

Another long year of conflict in the Senate came to an end today as the new 2007-2008 Senators were eased  into their new jobs. You know what they say … in like a lion, out like a lamb.

Returning Senators included: McKenzie, Trippe, Gulley, Papailliou, Rajabzadeh, and SunOwen (ex-oficio).

New Senators included: Neil Brown, Kate Jones, Samantha Brodey, Donnie Kim, and Lee Warnecke. Although Senator Rosenberg will be resigning because he is no longer a music major, he still acted as the Senate President and led the meeting.

Special requests included DDS asking for $2,000 from the gas line item to purchase radios for four of their vans, which passed unanimously. The International Resource Center made a request on behalf of all international student groups for $5,000 to fund an October 12th grand opening with activities in the ampitheater. Billed as an oportunity to network with international alumni (four large donors for the project are from Japan), some Senators were worried about the health of the proposal. Senator Trippe was conerned about handing out such a large amount of money before any fundraising had begun, and Senator McKenzie reflected this concern, saying that the IRC had the entire summer to raise funds. Senators Papailiou and Brown were hesitant to vote for the full amount as they felt that the alumni association should help with the large mailing fees included in the cost, therefore bringing the proposal to $2700, which passed.

After the meeting we sat down for a few minutes with Senator Brown, who was happy about the transition. He said that he was happy with the progress that was being made, and that he looked forward to working with his fellow Senators this year.

You never know what you’re gonna find when you’re trolling for SPEW…

May 30th, 2007 by Niedermeyer

So, I was just Googling “menstruate for peace”  looking for this, when the fifth hit down posed a question that just doesn’t get asked enough: “Why Chastity Belts?”

Yes Virginia, there is an online community of chastity belt aficionados, and yes, is definately NSFW.

Finally, Something Everyone Can Agree On…

May 29th, 2007 by Niedermeyer

NO NEW BEER TAX! Tyler Graf takes on one of the defining issues of our times in the ODE today. Sure, we expressed our outrage over this a while ago, but when it comes to writing about beer, nobody touches the lyricism of Tgraf.

“If this legislation passes, then it will become abundantly apparent that Oregon relies far too heavily on taxing the so-called “sin” industries. Cigarettes are already subjected to the third-highest rate of taxation in the nation. Although Oregon currently taxes breweries at a reasonably low level, comparative to other states, the proposed legislation would create one of the highest beer taxes in the nation. That, in a sense, is understandable; Tobacco Road is a coast away, after all. Beer, on the other hand, is a native-born industry. We cannot, and shall not, allow our impotent legislators to cavalierly, imprudently subject a native industry to taxation based solely on the fact that it is an easy political move.”

To the barricades!

Texas House of Reps erupts in chaos, tears; not just for ASUO anymore

May 27th, 2007 by CJ Ciaramella

The Texas House of Representatives is going to hell in a handbasket. A disgruntled group of Democrats and GOP lawmakers (known as “the insurgents”) have desperately been trying to oust Republican Speaker of the House Tom Craddick from his position, citing gross displeasure with his perfomance. Craddick, in an decidedly evil twist on “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington,” has refused to recognize any of the so-called “insurgents.” This means no one can make a motion for the special vote needed to replace Craddick. Cue evil laugh, thunder.

Craddick held off the in-House rebellion for more than five hours, including a physical attempt to overtake the Speaker’s podium. He twice called for a recess and retreated to his office. House Parliamentarian Denise Davis ran out of the assembly nearly in tears, locked herself in her office and resigned shortly afterwards.

When Craddick called the second recess, one flummoxed representative was heard to yell, “This is America. We don’t do things like this here!”

See? And you thought this sort of shit only happened in the ASUO.


May 26th, 2007 by Timothy

Akismet seems to be overly aggressive recently, I’ve gone through the queue and restored a dozen or so comments. If you post something that doesn’t show up immediately, please let me know. That is all, thanks.

So who exactly is a burden on society?

May 26th, 2007 by CJ Ciaramella

Here’s a surpisingly topical and nauseating story: a group of 20-30 teenagers attacked two Hispanic men Thursday night, throwing stones and kicking them while reportedly yelling things like “go back to Mexico!” According to reports, the two men were sitting in a park near Salem, minding their own business, when the mob assaulted them. In addition, the teenagers also trashed the car of one of men. Police arrested one person at the scene, 18 year-old Austin Greenwood, who was charged with second-degree assault, riot, first-degree criminal mischief and being a minor in possession of alcohol. A boozed-up Greenwood offered an eloquent defense of his actions. From the Oregonian:

After questioning Austin Wright Greenwood at the scene, a Clackamas County Sheriff’s Deputy placed him under arrest. The deputy reported that Greenwood said, “The only thing I did was wrestle with some fat Mexican.”

Apparently, Greenwood thought himself some sort of luchador. However, not yet content with his stunning display of civility and manners, Greenwood perfomed the coup de grace.

The deputy also reported that Greenwood spat on the patrol-car window and urinated in the rear seat while he sat in custody. The officer said Greenwood also repeatedly hurled profanities at the deputy as he drove Greenwood to jail, where he is now lodged.

Reading this story, I suddenly had a great idea for immigration reform. I propose a worker-exchange program where we trade waste-of-space shitheads like Greenwood for people who actually want to come to this country and work. It’s a win-win situation.

Incoming Senators Working On Ethics Reform

May 25th, 2007 by Niedermeyer

Somehow, incoming Senators have come to the conclusion that current ethical standards just aren’t tough enough. I guess when Senators can legally vote to allocate money to send themselves on trips, but you get summarily removed for finalizing the agenda a few hours late, something must be wrong. Ethics reform has been a long time coming, and it is crucially important that, among other things, clear conflict of interest rules are laid out, particularly for surplus and overrealized requests. These to processes hand out lump sums of cash, but there are no ethical rules at all, governing who may vote on them, and who may not.

New Senators, you seem to be on the right track. This new ethics code will be one of the most important steps taken by the ASUO in a long time. It will be hard work, and you will face opposition… if you ever need to remember why ethics reform is important, all the motivation you will ever need is right here.

ASUO Senate Report: Absence Makes The News A Little Better

May 25th, 2007 by Niedermeyer

The lame-duck Senate has been especially boring the last few weeks, doling out the last bits of surplus money, and not doing much else. Your intrepid ASUO correspondent has been taking advantage of the lull, by not going to meetings for the last few weeks. It appears that not much has been missed, untill this week, that is. (more…)

Sucks to be under 21

May 24th, 2007 by Ossie

The Ol’ Dirty reported today on the House Bill 2147 that is about to be signed by Gov. Teddy Kulong that will suspend the license for 90 days of anyone who gets an MIP, or they will have the option to go through a bullshit deference program. Now I could care less since it doesn’t affect me directly, but I see this as an attempt to pump more money into the absurd addiction places that are everywhere.

I had to go through 16 weeks at Emergence for a DUI and can tell you that they are a waste of time unless you’re a 45-year-old waste of space with at least 4 drug addictions. Now the state is going to toss in thousands of Oregon youngsters every year into these “recovery” joints so that they can pay for the treatment of Meth heads, crack addicts, smack dealers, beans babies and torpedo tweakers.

Go Pig, For Mother Russia!

May 23rd, 2007 by Sho

Russians, Booze and a PigI found this amusing series of pictures while wasting time on the Internets today. Watch as some Ruskies get a pig boozed up and shoot it into the sky. Hilarious!

Sadly, after some Googling, I found that the images are from a Russian mockumentary. Still, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Russians–or our government, for that matter–actually shot animals from cannons in pre-Space Race experiments.

Oregon legislature proposes final solution to indoor smoking

May 23rd, 2007 by CJ Ciaramella

Yesterday the Oregon Senate passed S.B. 571, which would ban smoking in all work spaces and public places, by a margin of 18-12; the law would include the last havens of indoor smoking in Oregon – bars, bingo halls and bowling alleys.

The Senate vote fell mostly along party lines, with Republicans taking up the opposition. Senate Minority Leader Ted Ferrioli called down thunder and lightning to smite the bill. He compared smoking to other decidedly unhealthy practices, such as drinking, being a lazy pile of lard and sky-diving, none of which are currently prohibited by state law (yet).

“Oregonians don’t need senators to make their life choices for them,” said Ferrioli. “Welcome to Nanny Land.”

Critics of the bill also cited the economic impact of the ban on the State of Oregon. The state would lose $20 million in cigarette tax revenue, according to the Legislative Revenue Office.

Big, whining crybabies, such as the American Lung Association of Oregon and the Tobacco-Free Coalition of Oregon, celebrated the Senate’s decision as victory for public health, but as the classic argument follows, who goes to bars for their health? Furthermore, have any of the senators ever been inside a bowing alley? You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. Bingo halls, from what I’ve discerned, are only frequented by people waiting to die anyways.

Listen, my mom smoked like a chimney when I was a kid, but you didn’t hear me complaining between bouts of chronic bronchitis. Nope, I sucked it up like a little trooper, so I don’t want to hear anybody complain about having to sit 10 feet away from a smoker in a well-ventilated bar. Bitch, please!

We almost forgot…. GO BLAZERS!

May 23rd, 2007 by Niedermeyer

That’s right bitches, we got the number one pick in the NBA draft! So who are we going to pick? Is Oden the perfect compliment to LaMarcus Aldridge? Will Durant become the next Chosen One, making Oden the next Sam Bowie? Does an Oden pick mean Z-Bo has to go? Will the Blazers stun everyone with their idiocy and trade away the pick? So much speculation, so little time.

Discuss here, here, here, or here.

Scandal Further Destroys Con Court Credibility

May 23rd, 2007 by Niedermeyer

The Constitutional Court is supposed to be the most credible institution in a government desperately lacking in credibility. Or, as everyone’s favorite Senator, Nate Gulley puts it, “Nobody knows the rules better than Constitution Court.” Well, apparently just about everyone knows the rules better than Con Court, because it appears that Justice Jerome Roberts has been collecting an ASUO stipend despite no longer being a fee-paying student, according to this Emerald article. (more…)

A Few Thoughts On Bias Response

May 23rd, 2007 by Sean Jin

Our most esteemed colleagues at the ODE have seen fit to write an article on the Bias Response Team. My understanding is that the BRT exists to listen to victims of bias, counsel and facilitate discussion between the involved parties, and improve sensitivity and positive communication on campus. While the mission of the BRT is commendable, it’s presence is ineffective and redundant, depending on which aspect of the BRT we are focusing on.
Firstly: Counselors have existed for ages, and while some are better than others, and some have different focuses than others, why the need to create a completely separate entity to fulfill this already-fulfilled role?

Secondly: The article notes that BRT has responded to some incidents by facilitating discussion in classes where bias had been reported, or between a ‘perp’ and victim of bias. If the act was an inadvertent and merely insensitive comment, then why couldn’t the ‘victim’ speak to the ‘perp’ personally and just stop the problem right there? Most sensible, sane people will realize their mistake and apologize.
If the perpetrator was making a biased/offensive comment on purpose, then does the BRT really expect a little discussion to actually change anything?

Lastly: Bias. We all have it. It is such a subjective matter, and an act of bias is based purely on one’s perception and construct of the world. I do not see how the BRT expects to respond to subjective matters in an objective way. There is not one person that does not have bias, because we all favor things, groups of people, and ideas, based on our personal experiences. The BRT is designed to ‘break down intolerance’. If anything, people that have experienced discrimination, racism, or offensive behavior are MORE likely to have bias and intolerance towards the type of people that perpetrated the discrimination against them. That is the nature of bias.