The Hamas government recently pulled a Palestinian children’s television program from the air that included a militant Mickey Mouse clone. Farfour, which means “butterfly,” bore an uncanny resemblance to the Disney icon. He appeared on the show “Tomorrow’s Pioneers” where he taught kids about the important things in life: being confident, setting goals, and working together.

“You and I are laying the foundation for a world led by Islamists,” Farfour squeaked in a recent episode. “We will return the Islamic community to its former greatness, and liberate Jerusalem, God willing, liberate Iraq, God willing, and liberate all the countries of the Muslims invaded by the murderers.”

Well, you got to start ’em early these days. Thankfully, Veggie Tales is the only religious cartoon subverting American children. On a side note, I would love to see an army of Disney lawyers bring down the hammer on this.

Add this story to the list of reasons you may not want to live in Tacoma:

Someone left a dead newborn deer dressed up as a baby in a basket outside of a downtown theater. The outfit included a bib that read, “You think I’m cute? You should see my aunt.”

Eeesh. It seems like the stress of the city might be getting to someone. Also, this morbid stunt sounds like something right up Nice Pete’s alley.

Our own Andrea Blaser, managing editor for the OC (not publisher), wrote a beautifully moving and well-substantiated commentary in today’s Ol’ Dirty. I encourage all to read for an honest and courageous point about the current “racism issue.”

I know we have a well-educated readership, and that most of you probably know by now that Governor Kulongoski signed two gay rights bills into effect yesterday, but I thought I’d provide an opportunity to discuss the measures. These bills are a great victory for the cause of individual liberty, and I heartily commend the Oregon legislature for finding the courage to extend basic rights to Oregon citizens. Volokh Conspiracy does bring up the question of our 2004 constitutional amendment which defines marriage as being between one man and one woman, raising the possibility of a legal challenge to the new law. Here’s hoping it fails, and makes Lon Mabon a little more depressed as a result.

I am going to jump on the bigotry bandwagon and post this story about Al Sharpton saying that Mormons do not believe in God. I know for a fact that Mormons believe in God because two of them came to my door last Saturday, and they must have said Jesus Christ about 50 times.

On Monday, Sharpton said in a debate that “those of us who believe in God” will defeat Mitt Romney for the White House.

Romney is a former governor of Massachusetts and a devout Mormon.

Sharpton goes on to claim, like all people who say stupid things, that his quote was taken out of context. He even goes so far as to blame the Romney campaign for blowing things out of proportion and trying to stir up controversy.

What we have here is another sign of the oncoming apocalypse. The day Al Sharpton gets away with accusing someone of stirring up controversy for publicity’s sake is the day Satan unleashes the hounds of hell.

Diego Hernandez, who we last saw losing the election for EMU Board Senate Seat 6, wrote a letter to the editor in yesterday’s Ol’ Dirty Emerald in response to Sean Jin’s criticism of Ty Schwoeffermann’s guest commentary from last Friday.

While Jin’s letter was critical of “people of color” who held contemptuous attitudes toward white people, it was written in a rather conciliatory tone:

As one that identifies as a minority, I feel that it is my responsibility to emphasize how important it is to practice what we preach, and that the true solution to racism and ethnic bigotry is to create positive connections amongst different cliques and groups on campus. While I cannot fully understand the hardships and frustrations that many people of color have endeavored through to be where they are now, I have come to the firm conviction that community connection and communication is the ultimate key to equalizing opportunities for people of color.

Now, let’s contrast Jin’s words with those of Hernandez:

Sean Jin said that he had never experienced racism before he came to the University and it was not until people of color started “expressing their hatred and contempt for whites” that he saw ethnic bigotry… To assume that people of color only have hatred toward white people is bigotry. If standing up to racism and if fighting for equality is hatred, then so be it.

All right! Throw an accusation of bigotry at your editorial opponent. Way to come out swinging!

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I have finally decided how I will choose who I will be voting for in the Primary elections this year. The AP asked all the ’08 candidates “What is your favorite food to cook?” It seems to me that John Edwards doesn’t know what side of the line he’s on. I guess its true: Republicans are meat-eating hawks and Democrats are, well, everybody else.

DEMOCRATS:

Delaware Sen. Joe Biden: Pasta

New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton: “I’m a lousy cook, but I make pretty good soft scrambled eggs.”

Connecticut Sen. Chris Dodd: “An August New England dinner: Lobster, corn and tomatoes.”

Former North Carolina Sen. John Edwards: Hamburgers

Ohio Rep. Dennis Kucinich: Hot water, according to his wife, Elizabeth. Doesn’t cook. A vegan, he favors fresh fruits and vegetables.

Illinois Sen. Barack Obama: Chili

New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson: Diet milkshake

—

REPUBLICANS:

Kansas Sen. Sam Brownback: Beef

Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani: Hamburgers or steak on the grill

Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee: Ribeye steak on the grill

California Rep. Duncan Hunter: Chicken fried venison.

Arizona Sen. John McCain: Baby-back ribs

Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney: Hot dog

Colorado Rep. Tom Tancredo: Doesn’t cook.

I am certainly not the only OC bloghead who loves Radley Balko’s The Agitator. Now, for a limited time only, our own alumnus Mark Hemingway will be sharing guest blogger duties at TA, while Balko suns himself in beautiful Buenos Aires. Hemingway has written hilarious and informative pieces for the Weekly Standard and elsewhere. Good luck at The Agitator, Mark… we’ll be watching.

The Retro Issue is done. Please enjoy it responsibly.

Former OC Editor-in-Chief and man-about-town Pete Hunt sent me this article in the Village Voice concerning racist hack* Kenneth Eng. If you’re not familiar with Eng, back in February he wrote an article for the Bay Area-based newspaper AsianWeek titled “Why I Hate Blacks.” As you might expect, the piece is downright awful and far worse than any diatribe Ty Schwoeffermann has ever written, which is saying a lot. AsianWeek took the column down from its website, but blogger Phil Yu reposted it, noting that Eng has also written pieces entitled “Proof That Whites Inherently Hate Us” and “Why I Hate Asians.” (At least we know Eng’s an equal opportunity racist.)

In the ensuing media uproar, Eng appeared on Fox News to defend the piece in question, but immediately attempted to promote his self-published book, “Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate,” which–as you may deduce from the title–is about dragons.

In April, Eng garnered attention again by posting a video on YouTube, in which he stated that reading about the Virginia Tech shooting was the “funniest thing [he] ever read in [his] life.”

Now Eng is trying to claim credit for Seung-Hui Cho’s murderous rampage, and tells the Voice that he once planned to go own his own shooting spree at NYU, but couldn’t afford a firearm. Jeebus.

Again, I dislike bringing attention to more racist nonsense–especially when it’s obviously being used to promote a terrible-looking book–but, on the other hand, it’s sadly entertaining.

Oh, and then there’s this guy, who doesn’t appear to be racist but is probably a little nuts.

*Two for two this month!

I just recieved the following email desribing a precautionary closure of the Lillis Business Complex:

Over the weekend, the University of Oregon learned of a bomb threat made against the Lillis Business Complex. Upon receiving the threat, the UO Department of Public Safety immediately contacted the Eugene Police Department and locked down the complex. Law enforcement experts then conducted a sweep of the facilities. No explosive device was found. While UO and law enforcement officials do not believe the threat is credible, the decision has been made to close the buildings on Monday, May 7, 2007 as a precaution. As a result, all classes, activities and other business scheduled in the Lillis
Business Complex have been cancelled on Monday. The complex will reopen on Tuesday, May 8 at 7 a.m.

Dave Frohnmayer

President, University of Oregon

Hm. Any coincidence that this one was called in around midterms?

Now head out for an El Dorado, kids.

That is all.

Much as I loathe to bring attention to anything Ty Schwoeffermann writes, especially since I regard him as a racist hack*, it is hard to ignore his excruciatingly shrill guest commentary in today’s Ol’ Dirty.

Schwoeffermann starts out in typical style with an opening sentence filled with glaring factual errors and legal inaccuracies:

When the Brown v. Board of Education verdict forced public schools to desegregate on May 17, 1954, the national conscious officially reconciled the half decade of Jim Crow laws.

A “half decade” of Jim Crow laws? If Schwoeffermann is trying to make the point that we need more African-American history classes using himself as an example, well then, I guess he’s doing a bang-up job right off the bat.

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The arcane system of programmatic, resource and other hidden fees in Oregon Universities will be investigated by order of the State Senate Committee on Education and General Government, according to this piece in the Register-Guard. EGG Committee Chair Sen. Vicki Walker (D-Eugene) is requiring the Oregon University System show progress on a number of fee-related issues by May 18, and could introduce a bill freezing all OUS fees if said progress isn’t demonstrated by then.

According to the RG article, the issues Walker wants addressed with University fees are

better disclosure so it’s easy to see which classes carry extra fees and how much they are, clear rules for increasing existing fees and creating new ones, financial aid to help low-income students pay the fees and a study on charging higher tuition for higher-cost majors as an alternative to resource fees.

These fees hit this campus particularly hard, as the UO pays the highest of these non-incidental Fees, at an average of $774 per year, more than $100 over the next highest, Oregon State. The RG even gave our own President J-Rod the opportunity to throw in his generic two cents.

“We want to be sure what they’re doing is legitimate and upfront and transparent to the students,” UO student body President Jared Axelrod said. “It’s only fair.”

What’s the second-worst thing about 7 hour long Senate meetings? The bars are closed by the time you get done.

What’s the worst thing about 7 hour long Senate meetings? The fact that Senate is “working” the whole time.

Last night, the Senate spent $835,784 of misappropriated money in about 7 hours. That’s about $120,000 per hour, and about $2,000 per minute. Oh yes, and they were making up the process as they went along.

Quite the accomplishment. (more…)