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The Deadliest Catch

January 4th, 2010 by Drew Cattermole

The recent string of Bank Robberies in Eugene finally have a suspect, and he’s a star. Joshua Tel Warner of the hit reality show “Deadliest Catch” has been named the suspect in the case.  I have always wondered what crab fishermen do when they are not aboard the fishing boats and now I finally have my answer, they rob banks. 

Eugene Police detectives have identified a suspect in three Eugene Bank Robberies and surprisingly the suspect has been on national television.

Joshua Tel Warner, age 23, who appeared as a crewmember aboard the “Wizard” on Discovery Channel’s “Deadliest Catch,” is wanted for the October 19, 2007 robbery of Washington Mutual Bank at 2840 Willamette Street, the April 3, 2009, robbery of Pacific Continental bank at 1450 High Street, and the August 28, 2009, robbery of the same Pacific Continental Bank.

Warner’s date of birth is June 29, 1986. He is a white male, 6’1″, weighing approximately 185-195 pounds. He has an unknown tattoo on his right thigh.

Warner was accompanied by a second male during the most recent robbery. Police have identified the second suspect but an arrest warrant is being sought prior to publicly naming him.

Warner, a former Oakridge resident, is aware that police are looking for him. He has likely fled the local area and may have gone to the east coast. There are also concerns he may try to flee to Canada or Mexico.

Warner came to national attention during the 2008-2009 Alaskan King Crab season featured on the Discovery Channel’s “Deadliest Catch.” He was a “green-horn” deckhand aboard the “Wizard” where his actions and confrontations with deckhands and the captain made him well known to the show’s followers.

Prior to fishing in Alaska, Warner was a Dungeness Crab fisherman on the Oregon coast and a wildland firefighter.
Anyone with information about Warner’s whereabouts is asked to contact their local police department or Detective Jeff Donaca of the Eugene Oregon Police Department at (541) 682-5193. Also, anyone with additional information about the robberies or other crimes involving Warner and his accomplice is asked to contact Detective Donaca.


Happy New Term!

I’ll Just Have Water, Thanks

December 27th, 2009 by D


“Note to self: Stop. Doing. Anything.”

As a lover of all things “jerky” I find vegetarians and vegans impossibly difficult to understand. Lucky for me, there’s some sane people still out there who console my straying conscious back into the right.

In a particularly interesting article written a few days ago, science columnist Natalie Angier wrote about the viability of ethics-based veganism – a topic I’m sure we’re all familiar with given our own geographical location. In her article, Angier noted that vegans often argue the ethical way of consumption is choosing not to eat meat. In the opinion of Angier (and myself), the choice hits a few snags. Angier highlighted the more ridiculous points of the argument:

“Before we cede the entire moral penthouse to “committed vegetarians” and “strong ethical vegans,” we might consider that plants no more aspire to being stir-fried in a wok than a hog aspires to being peppercorn-studded in my Christmas clay pot.”


Lock Your Doors

December 16th, 2009 by D

As students, I’m sure we’re all aware of the high rate of property crime that exists in Eugene. Apparently the EPD is now actively trying to do something about it. They’ve launched an initiative with some very original ideas, like policing the high-crime rate areas more. Here’s an outline of their model:


My favorite part of the whole plan? That it mandates the EPD increase their presence in the University and Kinsrow areas, as they appear to be the highest concentrated areas of property crime:


The plan, according to the press release, is based on this:

“The Crime Prevention Unit’s personnel have been re-staffed from a stationary model where they were available for public visits at front counters to one where they work in the field in those neighborhoods where crime is occurring.”

Now I’m not saying this will turn out badly for students for sure, but I am skeptical of the fact that Eugene wants to devote more city resources (officers) to a non-tax paying area they typically like to bleed of municipal support (hence why 18th street remains in shambles).

Further, I think anyone who has seen a crazy methhead/bum riding down the street on a different bicycle every day understands that property crime, at least in the University/Kinsrow area, is principally due to Eugene’s transient problem.

I’m thinking increased patrols in the University and Kinsrow areas will probably end up bringing in more MIPs than bike-stealing hobos. Then again, I could be wrong and we could all be a lot safer.

In any case, I’d lock your doors.

ASUO Food Drive

November 13th, 2009 by D

Since the next Commentator does not come out before this food drive I’ve decided to post the information here on the website. The Commentator strongly encourages you to go down and donate a can or two.

The Associated Students of the University of Oregon (ASUO) Senate will be conducting a canned and non-perishable food drive aimed at helping to feed hungry families in the Lane County area during the holiday season. ASUO Senators will host tables in front of the Duck Store for two days as they attempt to collect at least 500 pounds of non-perishable food as well as cash donations to donate to Food for Lane County.

The food drive was conceived by ASUO Senate Intern Morgan Henry, who also organized the event. “Because the Senate represents the entire student body, I think it reflects strongly on students when their elected leaders work to help out the community,” said Henry. “Obviously it’s especially powerful to be collecting this food for hungry families right before many of them will be sitting down for Thanksgiving.”

The Senate’s food drive will run for two days, November 17 and 18.

WHAT: ASUO Senate Canned Food Drive

WHO: Associated Students of the University of Oregon (ASUO) Senate, Food for Lane County

WHEN: 10:00 am to 4:00 pm
November 17 – November 18

WHERE: In front of The Duck Store
Corner of 13th and Kincaid Street


October 29th, 2009 by D


As we approach Saturday let us take into account that Halloween has been a historically bad day for Eugene. Riots in the early 2000’s and late 90’s on Halloween night have been a catastrophe–just wait until you mix in a night game at Autzen coupled with the emotional high/low of the potential outcomes. The Commentator is no stranger to the riots. A former unnamed staffer is on the front cover of a late-90’s Daily Emerald ripping up a stop sign. It’s fun for the whole family.

It doesn’t help that, according to today’s front page article in the Emerald, the Bias Response Team was called when a student organized a “blackout Autzen” facebook group. Reactionists and non-sports fans alike came together to question the student’s motivation for the event and its “racial implications”.


Layin’ It All Out

August 27th, 2009 by Vincent

Racism. It’s at the heart of every disagreement with “progressive” policy reforms. Meet Diane DeVillers of Eugene, who lays it all out in today’s issue of the Eugene Weekly:

There is not as much confusion about the health care issue as we are led to believe. Much of the resistance is all about not wanting President Obama to succeed. The town hall haters, gun-toting radical right wingers, have been steaming since our President was elected. It has taken them this long to finally have the nerve to tell America how much they hate the fact that a black man won the election. It is all about being racist.

While the sane people in America try to get health care reform, the minority is trying to mislead and ruin any attempt for this bill to pass. This includes the whole Republican party… Their loyalties are only to themselves. The majority of people elected this president, so they need to get used to it.

The majority of Americans want health care reform, so the Democrats should just do it, any way they can…

Everyone in the room should yell back for them to be silent and let the discussion continue.


Vote for the OC as best Eugene blog!

August 21st, 2009 by CJ Ciaramella

It’s that time again. the Eugene Weekly has opened the polls for its annual Best of Eugene survey. If you’re a fan of the Commentator, feel free to vote for us as best local blog. Even if you’re not a fan, surely you could still appreciate how much it would piss all the whiny hippies off. Think about the whiny hippies, won’t you?

Also, vote for Rennie’s Landing as best bar and one of Ninkasi’s fine creations for best beer.

Eugene’s Draconian Smoking Ordinance Strikes Again

May 5th, 2009 by CJ Ciaramella

The back deck of Espresso Roma, a favorite haunt of UO riff-raff and one of the last true smoking dens in Eugene, is now a no-smoking area thanks to the city’s asinine smoking ordinance. (You may remember when the city fined the Horsehead Bar and Grill for its offending row of shrubbery.)

After walking out on the back deck and seeing the multitude of no smoking signs, I managed to get the story out of one of the employees through my rudimentary Spanish:

“Hey, guey, por que no fumar?”

“Porque la ciudad.”

“iPinche ciudad!”

Here it Comes; Swine Flu Gonna Get You

May 1st, 2009 by CJ Ciaramella

Look out:

EUGENE, Ore. — (May 1, 2009) — On Friday, May 1, a suspected case of H1N1 influenza was discovered in an elementary school-age child who attends the Moss Street Children’s Center on the University of Oregon campus.  The child has been home recovering from the illness since Monday evening, April 27, and has not been attending the after-school program for the past four days.  After extensive consultation with local Lane County Public Health and Oregon State Public Health, university officials announce that the Moss Street Children’s Center and two other childcare facilities (Vivian Olum Child Development Center and Co-op Family Center at Spencer View) on campus will remain open and fully operational at this time.  If circumstances change over the weekend, updates will be communicated by phone, email, websites and local media as appropriate.

In other news, children are dirty little harbingers of death and disease. Stay away from them.

Panic at the University

May 1st, 2009 by Ross Coyle

As if Swine Flu, which will wipe out all life on earth, weren’t enough:

Today the University hosted not only Foreign Language & International Studies day but also hearings by the Ways and Means Committee to discuss budget cuts due to our outstanding deficit. The hearing today is the last of eight hearings held around Oregon. So we’re in the tank by about 4.4 billion, which amounts to something like 25 percent of our state budget.

The hearing has drawn out all kinds: professors, students, state employees, and citizens. Most prominent were representatives of Education, Public Safety, and Human Services. These groups packed both floors of the Lillis Auditorium, with the upper floor watching a live broadcast of the first floor. Geoff Sugerman, Communications Director for the Speaker’s Office, maintains a stoic outlook on issue. He noted that all areas will probably recieve cuts. In spite of this, he noted that the committee is looking to protect the most vulnerable citizens.



And in other news, the University also held the International Studies and Foreign Language day today. Highschools from across Oregon, and even one from Washington, descended on Campus for a fun day of discovering foreign culture [or just University Advertising]. As if there weren’t enough children on campus already.

Big Fire on Franklin

April 14th, 2009 by Vincent

You’ve probably noticed the clouds of acrid smoke choking campus since about 3pm or so. That’s because the building next to the “Louie’s Village” restaraunt down on Franklin Blvd. is currently in the process of burning to the ground.

Franklin is totally closed to traffic at Alder St., so don’t go down there.


Unless you want to take pictures.


According to KEZI, the building is vacant. That means the electricity is probably shut off. My guess? Squatters.


Word on the street is the “Clean Air Project” will be organizing a campaign to ban smoke from blazing infernos from campus, pointing out that they have “a right to clean air.”

So Long, Fuckos!

April 9th, 2009 by Vincent

I’d heard about this a few days ago and was mightily amused to see that it was front page news at the Emerald, but that legendary booze and rohypnol joint, the Indigo District, is closing its doors as of Saturday night. While young whippersnappers might know the storied establishment chiefly for date rape and gun battles, when the establishment reopens under under its inventive new moniker “The District”, it will basically resemble… well… pretty much what the Indigo District was like when it first opened its doors, serving food and coffee during the day and switching to coke-fueled douchebaggery at night.

No word yet on whether the new ownership intends to install another stagnant, stinking pool of water with a vomit-clogged drain next to the door.

Fear of an Armed Planet

February 28th, 2009 by CJ Ciaramella

Since we recently wrote about the case of concealed carry over at Western Oregon University, I found this story to be quite relevant:

Over at Central Connecticut University, a professor recently filed a complaint against a student, saying the student made the class feel “scared and uncomfortable” after he gave a presentation advocating concealed carry on campus. That night, the student was called into the campus police station, where police grilled him about the firearms registered in his name and where he kept them.

How wonderful that students are being harassed by universities and police for merely speaking up for the Second Amendment. I can’t really say anything more concise or to the point than the money quote at the end of the article, though:

“If you can’t talk about the Second Amendment, what happened to the First Amendment?” asked Sara Adler, president of the Riflery and Marksmanship club on campus. “After all, a university campus is a place for the free and open exchange of ideas.”

On a related note, the Eugene Weekly is at it again. After the smashing success of its last gun article, the EW has once again shown it has nothing but ignorance and contempt for the Second Amendment, writing (emphasis in the original):

Wow, Lane County Sheriff Russ Burger must have a lot of extra time and money on his hands. Burger reportedly has sent letters to more than 10,000 concealed gun nuts to stir up support for his opposition to public records laws and create a problem that did not exist. What’s next, mass mailings to concealed hairdresser permit holders? This expenditure of untold tens of thousands of dollars and staff time comes while Burger complains he doesn’t have the money to stop burglaries. If this is a mass mailing for a NRA-backed re-election campaign, the sheriff should have paid for it himself.

The EW is referring to to the current legal kerfuffle over whether or not to make the names of concealed handgun license holders public record. Of course, making the names public defeats the whole purpose  of concealed carry, but I imagine that’s what liberals are aiming for anyways. It’s not a public records issue. Plenty of personal information is off-limits to public record –  school records, for instance.

Oh, and by the way, if CHL-holders are “nuts,” then there are currently 11,000 insane people in Lane County alone.

Hat tip to The Agitator for the first story.

From the Department of “We Told You So”

February 12th, 2009 by Vincent

A few months ago, we covered the predictable cheerleading by progressive types over the then-impending minimum wage hike. Well, the raise in the minimum wage has come and gone and the Eugene Weekly is reporting that things are basically working out the way anyone who wasn’t political invested in pointless exercises in populism assumed they would:

When minimum wage rose 45 cents at the beginning of this year, Jerry James knew that while the increase wouldn’t allow his family to get ahead, it would at least give them a leg up with rising costs.

“It’s good,” James said. “But with the cost of food, it sort of weighs itself out.”


The 2009 wage increase will allow full-time minimum wage workers to increase their annual income from $16,536 to $17,472, an extra $936 a year. Still, the extra $3.60 a day might not be enough to keep up with the rising cost of food. [emphasis added]

In other words, the price for consumer goods has risen right along with the increase in the state-mandated minimum wage. Who could’ve predicted that?



National Review on Oregon’s Moving Company Cartel

February 9th, 2009 by CJ Ciaramella

National Review has a short article by Kevin D. Williamson in this week’s issue about the sad state of occupational-licensing laws; as an example, it uses the case of Adam Sweet, a PSU student whose moving company was shut down by the state because he didn’t have a “Oregon Intrastate Certificate to Transport Household Goods or Passengers.” I wrote about Sweet’s case here and more recently here.

Sorry, the NR article is behind a subscription wall, so I can’t link to it, but I do have a handy-dandy print copy. Here’s some of the text:

Adam Sweet is an Oregon college student who organized some friends into a moving business with a specialty in medical clinics. Alan Merrifield is a Californian who ran a pest-control business free of chemicals and poisons. Both were shut down by occupational-licensing laws that largely serve to protect entrenched business interests while doing little or nothing to protect the public.

Licensure laws make it difficult to start a business or pursue one part time. If you turn a buck from your knack for planting rosebushes or arranging their flowers, you could find yourself fined and jailed for practicing unlicensed landscape architecture or outlaw floristry. […]

In the cases of Sweet and Merrifield, challenges from the Pacific Legal Foundation forced authorities to admit what everybody knows: These laws exist mostly to protect politically connected businesses.