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Here it Comes; Swine Flu Gonna Get You

Look out:

EUGENE, Ore. — (May 1, 2009) — On Friday, May 1, a suspected case of H1N1 influenza was discovered in an elementary school-age child who attends the Moss Street Children’s Center on the University of Oregon campus.  The child has been home recovering from the illness since Monday evening, April 27, and has not been attending the after-school program for the past four days.  After extensive consultation with local Lane County Public Health and Oregon State Public Health, university officials announce that the Moss Street Children’s Center and two other childcare facilities (Vivian Olum Child Development Center and Co-op Family Center at Spencer View) on campus will remain open and fully operational at this time.  If circumstances change over the weekend, updates will be communicated by phone, email, websites and local media as appropriate.

In other news, children are dirty little harbingers of death and disease. Stay away from them.

  1. Ross Coyle says:

    This panic over a small cold still seems silly. Has anyone seen the south park on Global Warming? Where the whole town is huddled inside the SP Elementary Gym? Just bringing that up, for no reason.

  2. C.T. Behemoth says:

    May 3, 2009


    TO: University Faculty and Staff

    FROM: Frances L. Dyke, Vice President for Finance and Administration

    SUBJECT: Swine Flu

    University leadership wants to ensure that employees are safe from Swine Flu by nightfall. We urge supervisors and employees to use good judgment and exercise caution in deciding when to leave work for the day. Sunset today will occur at 4:35 pm.


  3. C.T. Behemoth says:

    How many H1N1 cases does it take to close the University of Oregon?

    WOU crumbled with….one?

    The U of O being the die-hard, refuse to ever close kind of school MUST have crafted some sort of memo full of legalese by now. Last winter, they did everything they could to be as ambiguous as possible about advising people on anything when the Grand Blizzard struck. I’m going to go take a look at an old memo and see if you can change “inclement weather” to “the swine flu” and see if something magical happens.

  4. Faux Frohn says:

    And while you’re at it, “doze” all those elementary and high schools too. How dare they consolidate children of various ages and grades under one roof!

  5. nike urbanism duk says:

    That is interesting. Some of the testimony against the Moss street childrens center was focused on how consolidating several separate daycare facilities into one megacare center would lead to problems like spreading disease. I am not making that up. All of the arguments against the permit for this center and that were part of the subsequent appeal are on the permanent record down at the city planning office. Dennis Reynolds, Mike Eyster and EMU Womens Center I hope you guys are proud of yourselves. Looks like it is time the new Moss street facility should be torn down. Just doze it !

  6. Andrew says:

    Aaaaaand, I just agreed to go into a tiny KWVA box with CJ and Alex Tomchak. I swear, if one of you gives me H1N1….

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