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Archive for February, 2010

Cover It Live (finally).

February 17th, 2010 by Drew Cattermole

ASUO Senate Meeting Feb. 17, 2010

February 17th, 2010 by Drew Cattermole decided to shit-out on me ten minutes before the meeting, sorry to the fans of the Robert Greene Watch (he had Subway for Dinner). . It took 10 minutes after the meeting was scheduled to start before there was a quorum. The meeting barely held a quorum with Sen. Tiptino and Sen. Blanchard moving to and from the senate meeting and OSPIRG.

The AMA came back after being tabled last week, they were given $5,292 for the AMA national conference after a 10-1-1 vote.

D&B Consulting visited the ASUO. They are a national planning firm with a speciality in college facilities who are looking into the renovation of the EMU. There is strong support from the administration and student groups for renovation. The consult process does not ensure a that the EMU will be renovated soon. It is not determined yet whether or not the EMU will be gutted or completely rebuilt.

D&B wants to send out a survey to everyone that has a email address to fill it out. They said they expect “thousands upon thousands” of surveys filled out. D&B put a lot of emphasis on the survey, calling it “one of the most important parts of the process.”   They will present their concepts to the students in the fall of next year.

ASUO presented their feelings towards the upcoming renovations to the EMU, Sen. Bocchicchio stated that he wants the size of the student unions to become larger so that they can have room to grow. If you haven’t seen the state of the student unions, the are crammed in a small hallway in the basement of the EMU, some barely have natural lighting. Sen. Weintraub stated that the ASUO office was “vastly under-spaced,” after complaining about rooms with no amount of natural light.


Oregon, Athletics and Prison: A Love Story

February 17th, 2010 by Evan Patrick Thomas

What is it with Oregon athletics? We just got over the infamy of being the “Jail Blazers,” the pot smoking, player punching, reckless driving numbskulls of the early 2000’s…. then we have Blount sock a guy in the face and run after a fan… then we get an alleged theft charge against Masoli and Embry… and now…..

LaMichael James faces domestic violence charges.

After reaching the Rose Bowl, the offseason hasn’t gone so great for Oregon. Three weeks after starting quarterback Jeremiah Masoli was accused of stealing laptops, top running back LaMichael James has been arrested on a domestic violence charge.

Police in Springfield, Ore., would not discuss the incident. James, who ran for 1,546 yards as a freshman last season, is facing misdemeanor charges of menacing, strangulation and assault.

This is not the first arrest for James. He was charged with disorderly conduct and third-degree battery in 2008. Those charges were dismissed last year.

Masoli and James were the two top offensive weapons for the Ducks in 2009 and both were mentioned as possible Heisman contenders.

There was no reaction from Oregon after the arrest.

“We don’t know any more than than what’s been reported,” athletic department official Dave Williford told KVAL News

Right after I get all happy about the Marcus Camby trade to the Blazers, I get all sad. PS: That trade was awesome, and, even if Camby doesn’t work out (he’s a bit old if you haven’t noticed), he’s a free agent next year and it opens up some cap space for us to make a push at signing a big, young guy, like Bosh or Horford or something. Cross your fingers.

It’s just not fair. This could have some serious ramifications toward next years team if menacing or assault gets upgraded to a felony.

Maybe Oregon should start an MMA team or a professional klepto-team or something and actually win a championship.

Journalists: Stay away from the Emerald

February 17th, 2010 by D

This morning I opened the pages of the Daily Emerald opinion section to find something so rare, something so seldom captured by the human eye that it must be commented on. Yes, the Daily Emerald actually ran an editorial. This is a rare finding, seeing as how the space is usually occupied by cartoons with incorrect spelling and “thumbs up, thumbs down” enlightenment.

The editorial masquerades as a warning to those considering involvement in the ASUO next year, citing coming registration for this Spring’s ASUO elections.

“Filing for the elections starts next week. If you are interested in taking on this process, learn about it. Talk to people holding office in the ASUO, read the Green Tape Notebook (which includes the rules for being an ASUO senator), attend the pre-campaign meetings and be prepared to work hard.

Taking on this process requires no less than an absolute commitment: Be very aware of what you are getting into.”

While I have to agree that this year’s rash of ASUO resignations is rather odd and frankly, disheartening, the Emerald‘s editorial offers blanket statements of disappointment towards all that have resigned.

“An ASUO Senate position is a lot of work. You have a hand in controlling a $12-million-dollar budget and will be leading 20,000 of your peers during their education. It should be no surprise that this requires time, energy and dedication. In spite of this, resignations have become typical.”

The editorial essentially complainins about the abdicated spots in the ASUO as “letting down the students”. This from an organization that has fired two news editors, an opinion editor and had another news writer quit because of the firings. And those are the people I know about.


Noise Complaints

February 16th, 2010 by Nick Ekblad

On Monday, February 15 a DPS officer responded to noise complaints and approached recorder player Misha Seymour, asking him to leave campus. Over the past three weeks or so, you might have seen Seymour on 13th Avenue or around the EMU playing a variety of music on his modest instrument. However, in light of recent noise complaints, his music will be heard no more as you stroll to class.

I always see people performing around 13th and University. Some play guitars, some sing songs, some even yell at the top of their lungs, “LTD can lick my sweaty, shaven nutsack!” I always admired the lively nature of random, voluntary performers, seeing them as an valuable addition to the University setting.

Seymour could sometimes be found around the EMU building, or even near the ASUO office. I can see how this might disturb some people. He probably would have been wiser in staying on the main sidewalks for the sake of not getting harassed or complained about. However, on the day he was asked to leave campus, he was standing on the sidewalk, innocently playing his recorder about twenty feet from the corner of 13th and University. There are no classrooms in the immediate area and, therefore, no reasonable cause for any noise complaint. It really is baffeling. That area is overflowing with the voices of students on their way class.

It’s not like he’s running up and down the hallways of Lillis, blowing off-key notes as loud as he can during classes and masturbating in the bathroom stalls. Misha Seymour should be able to play his recorder on the streets.

Oh Shit Zombies Save the Booze

February 16th, 2010 by Ross Coyle

The fifth annual zombie walk was held on Valentines Day, described as a general screw you to the cliches of the Hallmark Holiday. Bloody festivities started at Pioneer Cemetery, where the organizer laid down the rules, including “Don’t bite anyone, don’t get in the way of traffic, and don’t overcrowd the bars.”

After waiting roughly an hour for stragglers, the horde began its grisly walk to Taylors and the festivities began. If a venue was at capacity, the almost-undead moved on to the next. Walking dead were seen at Diablo’s, John Henry’s, and the Horse Head in addition to the bars around campus.

“Bar’s love us,” remarked a participant, her mouth caked with fake blood made from starch and food coloring. Indeed, Diablo’s had gone out of its way to accommodate the walking dead with skeleton themed decor and DJ’s that played Thriller.

But all good things must end, and by the time the horde left Diablo’s, it had fractured into smaller cells, which quickly split off to go to their own pubs. See all the gruesome action below.

The Best Sweeteners of Tea

February 16th, 2010 by D

Her sign reads, “Sorry Daddy, I don’t have $1 trillion to loan you! =)”

There has been quite a bit of talk lately about a growing political movement by newly-minted Constitutionalists called the “Tea Party movement”. It has been touted as a “grass roots rebellion” all over the conservative airwaves and news media, despite the huge names endorsing the ideas.

In an article by David Barstow, he describes the movement as being a separate mechanism away from the Republicans, and that it has a more “traditionally conservative” background.

“[A] significant undercurrent within the Tea Party movement that has less in common with the Republican Party than with the Patriot movement, a brand of politics historically associated with libertarians, militia groups, anti-immigration advocates and those who argue for the abolition of the Federal Reserve.”

Barstow’s article goes on to describe the aforementioned Constitutionalists as only recently coming to political awareness when they realized that “Washington was a threat”. Further, several of them mention the possible, if not probable, impending need for revolution, “Mrs. Stout said she felt as if she had been handed a road map to rebellion.” This theme of militias actually being called into action is widely apparent throughout Barstow’s article and in Tea Party ideals.

“In Indiana, Richard Behney, a Republican Senate candidate, told Tea Party supporters what he would do if the 2010 elections did not produce results to his liking: “I’m cleaning my guns and getting ready for the big show. And I’m serious about that, and I bet you are, too.”

What has essentially happened, however, is that the Tea Party movement has been touted so fervently by conservative media that it hardly qualifies as a grass roots movement. Last April, Fox News pushed for the Tea Parties so hard that it actually fabricated video footage in order to make a Tea Party seem larger.


The Spice of Life

February 16th, 2010 by D

I noticed this personal ad in the Emerald yesterday. It’s eerily similar to the one that appeared on our own back cover, and indeed to the one that I placed in the Emerald just last week.

I’m not sure who’s responsible for the ad (I haven’t asked the whole staff yet) but whoever is, I salute you.

New Sudsy Tees Available! Just $10

February 15th, 2010 by D

Just got a new batch of Sudsy Tees in. They come in Black, Kelly Green and Royal Blue. Sizes are Med-XL. Price of a tee is just $10!

I’m going to put a button on the website here in the next few days so you can use your Mastercard or Visa  (or Paypal) to buy one. In the meantime, if you want to order one, please send an e-mail to us at:

Wait, so my special interests won’t get me what I want?

February 15th, 2010 by D

According to Tomcat over at the Daily Emerald, Diego Hernandez and CAER, the Coalition Against Environmental Racism, has been stamping their feet like insolent children over a recent allocation of EMU office space that didn’t go their way.

A recently vacated office space in the Survival Center was up for grabs, and both CAER and the Alliance of Happy Atheists (AHA) applied for the space. Because of a relationship with ASUO President Emma Kallaway and the Survival Center, CAER didn’t think they really had to, you know, try to get the office space:

“The difference between their applications, CAER co-director Adrien Wilkie said, was that CAER, because of encouragement from Kallaway and the Survival Center to apply for the space, assumed that the Jan. 27 meeting at which an EMU Board subcommittee met to allocate space in the building was a formality.

“Honestly, we went into this thinking we had to apply just for bureaucracy’s sake,” she said. Neither she nor her fellow co-director skipped class to attend.”


Happy President’s Day

February 15th, 2010 by Drew Cattermole

We at the University of Oregon unfortunately do not have the day off, but if you would like to spend the day wasting time here are some presidential links to wet your whistle.

CNN’s Look into forgettable Presidents.

The top 43 sexiest Presidents according to

CSM’s Look into the facts of President’s Day.

Teddy being a badass

Feel free to comment on your favorite or sexiest president below. I know there has to be some people that think Taft is sexy.

Sunday Best

February 14th, 2010 by D

Because Sundays are slow. This week:

Self-deprecating trash can.

Brother Jed in Arizona

February 13th, 2010 by D

“Let the Lord penetrate you.”

The Desert Lamp is reporting that Brother Jed, our favorite “confrontational evangelical” is making his rounds around the UA campus. You know what that means: only a few short months before the rain lets up enough to let Jed and his virgin-white suit harass students and other insane people here at the University of Oregon. Hey, it’s way more fun than Nazis, no?

61,578 Cups of Coffee

February 12th, 2010 by D

Members of the ACFC listen to presenters during OSPIRG’s hearing.

Yesterday night OSPIRG went in front of the ASUO’s Athletics and Contracts Committee. OSPIRG’s members went through a presentation talking about all the “wonderful, amazing and good-hearted” things OSPIRG does. There were some particularly ridiculous moments. One Lane Community College OSPIRG member (I have no idea why they were there) said during public testimony, “If there was no OSPIRG, there’d be dead whales all over the ocean.” Immediately to my right, CJ Ciaramella had to give him a knock.

Of the people who spoke during the public testimony portion, only three of them were against funding OSPIRG’s current request–Me, Lyzi Diamond and CJ Ciaramella. In part, Diamond’s testimony quoted from a Matt Petryni opinion column that appeared in the Daily Emerald in 2008, “More than two-thirds of its ASUO stipend goes not to campus work, but to staffers in Portland, Ore.”

I also highlighted the point that the issue at hand, as it always has been with OSPIRG, is not whether they do good things. It is merely the proper use of student funding. Further, OSPIRG’s budget accounts for $103,000 to paid employees, $70,047 on non-student, non-campus employees alone. I noted that over 60% of their budget directly says that it does not go to students, and that responsible fiscal oversight by the ASUO was not possible with OSPIRG’s current funding model.

One awkward moment happened immediately after I spoke, as I saw CJ Ciaramella outside, and motioned to him. He didn’t see me, so I walked to the door to go get him. A man, probably in his 50s, stopped my as I walked by. His name is Paul Tanner and he is a student at LCC. He asked me, “Are you leaving?” To which I replied no, I was merely going to get CJ. He then told me that, “Because if you get up there and make a statement like that, you damn well better sit here and listen to what others have to say.”

At that point, I removed his hand from my shoulder and told him, “Don’t ever fucking talk to me like that again.” I got CJ, came back inside, and stopped by Tanner to reiterate how he was to speak to me. By the way, the meeting lasted about 3 hours. After about hour 2, I could no longer find Paul Tanner in the room, and he was indeed gone before the meeting ended. Thanks for staying, Paul.


The Other Side of the Pacifica Forum Coin

February 11th, 2010 by D

For weeks now we’ve been debating back and forth about the Pacifica Forum, and the subsequent maneuvering its protesters have done to try to make the discussion about “student safety”. It came to a head last week when the ASUO Senate Rules Committee passed a resolution that politely asked the Pacifica Forum to fuck off.

It seems that through a highly convoluted series of events, the Student Insurgent has coincidentally “intercepted” a message from Billy Rojas, which has been denied as being a fake. Even if the e-mail is real, it’s long and boring and I don’t really need to go over its contents. The best part is that the Black Tea Society has decided to call on anti-Pacifica supporters from all over the state to protest the next Pacifica meeting on the 12th because of the e-mail.

Here’s where it gets juicy. The Black Tea Society intends to bring militants to the University of Oregon campus in order to protest the Pacifica Forum. That’s right… militants.

“Militants wishing to participate in this action should arrive in front of Agate Hall on the University of Oregon campus, this Friday February 12th at 4:30pm”