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Archive for February, 2010

New issue out on stands

February 11th, 2010 by D

Nekblad and I distributed the mags to their respective places yesterday. Go get yourself a hard copy, it’s very sensual. Like velour, or a tiger. Or a velour tiger.

ASUO Senate Feb. 12th

February 10th, 2010 by Drew Cattermole

ASUO Executive asks ACFC to fund OSPIRG

February 10th, 2010 by D

The ASUO Executive has issued a letter asking the ASUO’s Athletics and Contracts Finance Committee to partially fund OSPIRG, starting “incrementally” for the next few years. The Executive did not suggest an appropriate amount of funding for OSPIRG only that they, “will be advocating for a dialogue that hopefully ends in partial funding for them this year, with incremental increases over time,” according to the Executive’s communications director Curtis Haley.

In part, the letter says, “Ultimately, a strong majority of staff members agreed that OSPIRG’s presence on campus is a benefit to student and deserves our financial support.” Understanding the politics of most of the members of the Executive, this statement isn’t very surprising. What is surprising is that the Executive made mention of fiscal responsibility concerning the issue of OSPIRG saying they were, “aware of some of the concerns that some student have voiced about OSPIRG’s funding model.” Their reasoning for OSPIRG being a financially responsible decision?

“We understand the importance of spending student dollars wisely, and believe that an incremental funding increase will allow OSPIRG to maintain its presence on campus while still demonstrating that their contributions and energy are sustainable in the long-term.”

Of course, earlier this year when the idea of funding OSPIRG was on the table, the question of fiscal responsibility was the key issue. ACFC member Alex McCafferty was quoted as saying the ASUO didn’t have enough money for OSPIRG anyways, “it’s tight and isn’t conducive to adding a budget of that magnitude.”


Happy Valentine’s Day, Daily Emerald

February 10th, 2010 by D

Those lovable scamps down at our campus newspaper, the Daily Emerald, decided to offer up a little Valentine’s Day gift to students by giving out free personal ads to celebrate the holiday. Wanting to fully take advantage of such an offer, the Oregon Commentator decided to run a personal ad of our own, which ran in today’s edition of the Emerald. The image is above, but the text reads:

Let’s meet for a drink

You: Fair skin, temperament to match. Hair and eyebrows like midnight. Powerful. Me: Golden complexion, rotund, a little white on top. Smoking enthusiast. Let’s stop playing games. Be my Valentine.

Anyone want to take a stab at who “You” and “Me” is?

Guess/comment away.

ASUO Slogan Contest Winner

February 9th, 2010 by D

And now, the winner of the ASUO Slogan Contest:

1st Place: “The ASUO: White privilege, but we’re sorry about it.”

2nd Place: “The ASUO: Nazis are bad. Also, racism.”

3rd Place: “Because 100 bad ideas is better than a few good ones.”

Honorable Mention: “Ass Shit University of Oranges.”

We will be e-mailing all the people who submitted these, so hopefully you put your correct e-mail in. First place gets a Sudsy Tee, second place gets a hand-delivered issue of the Commentator, and third place gets a handshake.

Also, Honorable Mention gets this Mystery Jar.

Graduation Going Green

February 9th, 2010 by Drew Cattermole

Holy Biodegradable Graduation Gown Batman!

KEZI reports on the new graduation gowns.

One if by Land, Two if by Tea

February 9th, 2010 by D

Sarah Palin gave a speech to a “tea party” a few days ago, one in which she said “America is ready for another revolution.” Palin’s comments, according to a Register-Guard article, were typically hilarious.

“We need a commander in chief not a professor of law.”

“Foreign policy can’t be managed through the politics of personality,” she said.

Which is exactly why the M.I.L.F decided to quit her job halfway through to join Fox News as a “pundit”. Oh, it gets better.

She assailed the $787 billion stimulus plan — “Did you feel very stimulated?” she asked

(Insert snarky sexual innuendo here)


Pacifica Forum for Dummies

February 8th, 2010 by Evan Patrick Thomas

Dear everyone who stopped caring,
Remember how much we’ve been reading about Pacifica Forum for the last month (partly my fault)? I have a pop quiz for you, just to see if you were paying attention.

A)     A Neo-Nazi Group
B)      Responsible for vandalizing LGBTQA
C)      A Free Speech Group
D)     Against feminism, homosexuality, and ethnic equality.
E)      A White Supremacist Group
F)      Responsible for the anti-Semitic note
G)     Loving, respectful, intelligent people
H)     All of the above


ASUO Slogan Contest Ends Tonight!!

February 8th, 2010 by D

The ASUO slogan contest will be ending tonight, so be sure to post your entries into the comments section of that blog post. We will announce the winner either Tuesday night or Wednesday morning.

ASUO Slogan Contest

Obama’s Gun Laws

February 8th, 2010 by D

“Back up in yo ass with the resurrection”

There was a particularly ridiculous letter to the editor in last Wednesday’s Emerald, one in which the author of the letter, Curtis Taylor, made the claim that, “[Obama has] signed into law more repeals of good gun policies than President George W. Bush” whatever that means.

As November 2008 came near, many on the conservative side of things expressed great fear that Obama would pass some kind of sweeping legislation against guns, effectively changing gun ownership in America forever, and for the worst. Many on the left (as I assume Taylor is, given his opinion) felt this a compelling force behind myriad reasons why they voted for Obama. Yet not much has come in the way of mass gun control from Obama. Indeed, Taylor expressed his frustration that Obama has, “showed no signs of leadership on the issue.” Leadership, of course, being the backhanded term being used there for not “doing what I want.”


If Only Her Boobs Could Play the Drums

February 8th, 2010 by D

This flier was put in all the student programs’ mailboxes at the end of last week. Indeed, I’m sure some of you may have seen a girl in a big vagina costume walking around campus (someone saw it and told me they initially thought it was some kind of protest, which seems reasonable). Needless to say, the sight is rather odd. Especially when you consider that, by the looks of the drawing on the flier, the costume may be a tad under-contextualized. Some upturned legs or a tuft of hair at the top may do the trick next time.

The “Vaginagram” is a fundraising effort by the Women’s Center for a retreat they want to do. I’m glad to see programs are doing such fundraising (although I have to ask, what money paid for the suit? Also, where the fuck do you buy a big vagina suit?) but to be honest, I’m not so sure a singing vagina really makes that much sense. Who really connects the dots between a singing vagina and a valentine? Also, does the Men’s Center plan on following suit with a big, breakdancing cock?

These are questions I’d like answered. Preferably in song.

I highly recommend buying one of these for your friends. How often does an opportunity like this arise? It’s a no-brainer.

Love/Sex Issue Online!

February 6th, 2010 by Drew Cattermole

Our latest efforts have led us to the Love/Sex issue, just in time for Valentine’s Day. Love is in the air and also in the pages of our magazine.


  • Stories of lost virginity and dignity
  • Evan P. Thomas speaks to the UO administration about the Pacifica Forum
  • Dick Origami (Don’t ask just check it out)
  • One hell of a flow chart.

ASUO Slogan Contest

February 5th, 2010 by D

Drew announced in a previous blog post that we were going to hold a slogan contest for the ASUO, but I wanted to get a separate comments column going for it. In case you haven’t heard, the ASUO is in the middle of a re-branding effort, and is looking for a new slogan.

Best slogan in the comments section gets a free Sudsy t-shirt. Even if you want to apply anonymously, please be sure to type in your correct e-mail into the comment form so that we can contact you.

“Sudsy tested, President appoved.”

I’ll start it off:

“The ASUO–Bolstering the resumes of average students applying to graduate school since 1970.”

Resolutions, Resignations and Robert’s Rules of Order

February 5th, 2010 by D

As the Pacifica Forum resolution finally passed Rules Committee on Wednesday, so too did it bring quite the controversy with it–and this time, no Nazis were present. Towards the end of the evening a bomb was dropped on the Senate (an odd happening in the same night the new ASUO logo had been debated) as tensions over a point of order rose to such that Senate Vice President Nicholas Schultz called for Senate President Nick Gower to resign by shouting, “Step down! Step down!”

The controversy started when Gower did not follow the speakers list–an ordered list for members to abide by–and instead called on Senator Lindsay Reichardt, out of turn. Schultz accused Gower of abuse of power, and called to question Gower’s action. Sens. McCafferty and Gower told Schultz he was not allowed to question that specific action of the Chair (Gower). Schultz, along with ASUO President Emma Kallaway, left the meeting for approximately 40 minutes and came back with a book of Robert’s Rules of Order–the governing rules the ASUO abides by.

From here, the situation escalated into a term I’m trying to coin here lately (patent pending)–a McDisasterfuck. Schultz had figured out that Gower and McCafferty were wrong, and that if two or more Senators called to question the actions of the Chair (Gower) then they could indeed discuss it.


OSPIRG, From the Inside

February 4th, 2010 by D

An e-mail between a former OSPIRG employee and last year’s ASUO Executive Sam Dotters-Katz

This morning I came to the office, and one of our staffers gave me a hard copy of an e-mail given to her by a person who wished to remain anonymous. It was an e-mail sent last year to then-ASUO Executive Sam Dotters-Katz by a former staffer at a branch of what I believe is SOUPIRG (The redacted parts, from what I can make out, say “SOU”–Southern Oregon University). I contacted Mr. Dotters-Katz this morning to confirm the legitimacy of the e-mail, which he verified. The e-mail is rather interesting. Here’s the body:


I felt compelled to write you after watching part of the Senate meeting last night, especially the part involving OSPIRG‘s appeal. I am currently a grad student at U of O, but I was an OSPIRG organizer for one term in REDACTED, when I worked at the REDACTED campus.

Toward the end of my term, I began to feel increasingly uncomfortable “selling” OSPIRG to REDACTED students, as my job basically required me to do. The main reason was that it became so apparent that the decision-makers in the organization weren’t the students, but were the staff. The OSPIRG board meeting I attended then were essentially shames, where students would read from a script prepared by a staff  member and then ram all staff proposed decisions through.

When our student chapter at REDACTED tried to request a small amount of money for a Hunger and Homeless Benefit, we were subjected to a horrific bureaucracy. To be blunt, the student’s couldn’t even retrieve a portion of their own money [emphasis original].