Having watched the Dawn of the Dead remake a few months ago and having read the Zombie Survival Guide, I, like many other zombie apocalypse survival strategists, have wondered how long the electricity would last. Would unmanned power plants now filled with zombified engineers continue working for a few more hours? Days? Maybe a week? What if one of the zombies starts chewing at an important button that just happened to be flesh colored? The Straight Dope tackles the question.

Hat tip: Evil Avatar

Wow. If you want to talk about poorly made political video games, look no further than the Republican National Committee’s JOHN KERRY: TAX INVADERS!

Fight the encroaching menace of John Kerry’s tax increases as the laser-shooting head of George W. Bush! Watch as evil tax bullets destroy your blocky blue bases! (Shouldn’t they be red?) Be amazed at the fact that when the bullets hit you they don’t flash your head or make it turn red or in anyway indicate that you’ve taken damage.

Hat tip: Game Girl Advance and Lauren

Eugene is once again atop Pollen.com‘s list of the worst cities in America for people with allergies. Apparently Cedar Rapids, IA is the best. I never thought I’d find myself seriously considering a move to Cedar Rapids, IA, but it has happened. Failing that, can we not just napalm Linn County? I know it’s the grass seed capital of the world, but I’m sure they could come up with some other claim to fame; perhaps one that doesn’t give me uncontrollable sneezing fits whenever I set foot outside.

It’s the hundredth anniversary of Ulysses! Which reminds me of this. I don’t have time to reread the whole book in Joyce’s honour, so it’ll have to do.

Distressing torture-related rumblings, here.

But get ready. It is going to get much worse. The graphic videos and photographs that have so far been shown only to Congress are, I have been persuaded by someone who has seen them, not likely to remain secret for very long. And, if you wonder why formerly gung-ho rightist congressmen like James Inhofe (“I’m outraged more by the outrage”) have gone so quiet, it is because they have seen the stuff and you have not.

I really don’t like the sound of this. Hat tip: Bill.

In the Washington Post (registration required?), a report on the group Move America Forward, which is lobbying movie theaters to yank Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 9/11. Interestingly, they seem to have decided that the best way to combat Moore is to provide him with massive amounts of free publicity.

Michael Joyce, a 23-year-old pre-journalism major, died at Sacred Heart Medical Center early Saturday morning after colliding with a vehicle driven by another University student, according to the Oregon Daily Emerald and Register Guard. The driver, philosophy major David Soulier, had a blood alcohol content of .08 percent. It is illegal to drive with a .08 percent BAC or higher in Oregon. Joyce, according to a witness, was riding his bike in the wrong direction down 13th Avenue. The Register Guard news brief mentions that there were other bicyclists accompanying Joyce, while the Emerald does not.

The Eugene Police Department has not charged Soulier with a crime, but the news articles indicate that it may do so after an investigation.

Apparently, researchers in Britain are coming closer to a vaccine for cocaine’s effects. The vaccine tricks antibodies into attacking cocaine molecules in order to block the body’s receptors from absorbing the chemicals and thereby reducing the “high.”

Unfortunately, the vaccine doesn’t do anything to fight withdrawal symptoms. Now all some scientist needs to come up with is methadone for coke.

This has been a very sad week for America: first Reagan, now Ray Charles. The boys at Reason believe these things happen in threes, and Im apt to agree with that. But if this is true, it begs the question: whos next? Bush jumped out of a plane today to celebrate his birthday and he didnt croak, so we can scratch him off. The Pope is still alive, technically, but he seems like too easy a choice. Im guessing the third person will be a bit more esoteric — too bad Herve Villechaize isnt around anymore.

If any of you want to get in on my dead pool, let me know. My vote is going to Ted McGinley, whose penchant for destroying everything he touches is well noted. If Im right, then we can all say that January, 2004 was when America Jumped the Shark.

Gunther may be rawkin the Germans, but this Italian/French hard rock band is rawkin the rest of Europe.

Im not quite sure how to describe these guys. They have long, stringy, greasy-looking hair. Theyre old. They play something resembling musical notes on instruments; I guess theyre a little like Swedish power-metal outfit Europe filtered through the mind of a role-playing, fantasy-novel-reading thirteen-year-old. Their song The Last Winged Unicorn is indicative of the style, as is Mighty Thunderforce. Apparently theyre really popular in Japan.

My favorite quote from the webpage, attributed to Alex Staropoli: Was July,casually me and Luca,we met the first time during a stage of mental technics. (somehow, we learn to how to get big memory,higher sensibilitys, and full control of our mind).

Prof. Burris gets paid to do this kind of thing. My theory is that he’s just upset about having gone to Princeton and still ended up in Eugene.

Dubiously uninformed, obviously made by hard-left wackos…but entertaining none-the-less. Check out the BushGame especially if you like 80s references galore!

This NYT piece is a pretty nice introduction to exchange markets. Extremely easy to read…and I’m not just saying that because I’m a huge dork. [Via Prof. Tabarrock at Marginal Revolution]

Thanks to the ubiquitous Bret for this one.

Usually I just read the Pulse section for the highly entertaining ramblings of Aaron-Im-not-a-journalist-Shakra, a genius in his own right, so forgive me for missing this doozy of an article.

It describes the Day of Solidarity for Eugene Political Prisoner Jeff Free Luers, which will take place at the Wow Hall on June 12th (Ticketmaster doesnt book this one, so youre on your own). Free, as you may remember, was the individual behind the fire-bombings of three SUVs at a Chevrolet dealership in Eugene.

The activists involved in the solidarity movement are quite upset over Frees imprisonment, going so far as to call it politically motivated. This seems to be a bit of a stretch to me; I mean, the guy did blow the shit out of several SUVs. Im no lawyer, but I do believe that demolishing somebody elses private property is a punishable offense, no matter how symbolic the action may seem to you personally.

Free received a 22-year sentence for his political statement. Im sensitive to non-violent offenders being punished excessively for their actions, which is why I usually disagree with mandatory sentencing as a rule. Thus, I understand the argument here. However, I feel little pity for Free, as he has aligned himself with the increasingly violent eco-defense movement. And unlike drug offenders, whose actions rarely disrupt the lives of everyday citizens (well, maybe the late-night pizza delivery guy), Free actually went out of his way to commit an implicitly violent act. I dont care how many precautions Free took to ensure that nobody was hurt, it was still a stupid act intended to strike fear in the hearts of the owners of the dealership, and it could have easily caused a person to get killed or injured.

Here is my favorite quote, attributed to Jesus Sepulveda, a Spanish GTF: It was a political statement and he didn’t intend to hurt anyone … It was a political statement against violence — violence is anything that harms living creatures. The only real terrorism here is state and corporate terrorism, which goes against people and the planet.

Indeed. Its not even worth it…

This man is my new hero!

Hes the latest German pop sensation who totally makes Falco look like a synthetic-beat-creating hack in comparison.

According to his webpage, Pleasureman Gunther is set to have the biggest smash hit of the summer with his fantastic debut single Ding Ding Dong Song. Gunther is a 29 years old gentleman style 2000 in his best years. I can vouch for that!!!

Watch his music video and listen to the magical lyrics, which are poetic in their simplicity, and you will be transported to audio-visual Heaven. Oooh, you touch my tra-la-la, Gnther sings in his rich, German voice. Transcendent!!!

And remember, Gunther lives for four things: champagne, glamour, sex and respect … in that order.