The Valley Of Death
Eugene is once again atop Pollen.com‘s list of the worst cities in America for people with allergies. Apparently Cedar Rapids, IA is the best. I never thought I’d find myself seriously considering a move to Cedar Rapids, IA, but it has happened. Failing that, can we not just napalm Linn County? I know it’s the grass seed capital of the world, but I’m sure they could come up with some other claim to fame; perhaps one that doesn’t give me uncontrollable sneezing fits whenever I set foot outside.
A sea of glass, reduce the place to a sea of glass.
Napalm isn’t enough. The grass will just grow back from the ashes. No, we must commandeer some of the nuclear warheads stored in the interior of this country and send them into the middle of the valley until its nothing more than a sheet of glass. Getting rid of Albany will just be a cool bonus.
As an aside, I’ve long held that Benadryl is at least as culpable as cannabis in explaining Eugene’s “mellow” atmosphere and endemic strain of slow-yet-reckless motorist.
As a loyal Ducks fan, I find that allergy map a trifle unsettling.