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Archive for December, 2010

Covered Wagon U. Media digest, Dec. 7, 2010

December 7th, 2010 by Alex Tomchak Scott

Warning: This media digest contains graphic depictions of stethoscope-wielding silver fox John Kitzhaber. The symmetry between a guillotine blade as it plummets and the sharpened creases of his chevron mustache as his teeth grit with bloodlust is not recommended for all readers. Any heads of major university systems in the state are advised to consult their doctors before reading this post. More below.

A Kitzhaber daydream.


Oregon Football to take you down to Glendale, take you for a real good meal.

December 6th, 2010 by Alex Tomchak Scott

The following image will be on the cover of the Emerald tomorrow. There’s news in the rest of the digest, but really there’s not much else going on in the minds of many at the University of Oregon, even though the damned game happened on Saturday.

Considering I spent the season discovering I really don’t care about college football, maybe I’m not the man to write the gloss on an undefeated football season. With that in mind, I’ll attempt to anyway, lazily pinching off a quote from a different code of the sport altogether:  Football; bloody hell. (No opinion today)


Sunday Best: An emotional day.

December 5th, 2010 by Lyzi Diamond

Jerry Allen calls the last minute of yesterday’s Civil War that will send the Ducks to the BCS National Championship Game. Jerry Allen is the same man who called “The Pick” back in 1994. Try not to cry when you watch this clip.

When our football team does well, it serves as a form of micronationalism, unifying us as a school and a team and a community. In these moments — despite all the fucked up dealings involving the UO administration, the ASUO and everything else — I am proud to be a Duck.

See you in Glendale, kids.

Places to Study- Not the ODE Version

December 3rd, 2010 by Melissa Haskin

Being as it’s dead week, the ODE was kind enough to share its reporters’ opinions on where to study. Of course, there are other noteworthy coffee shops (Full City and Vero for starters), not to mention Sweet Life. However, there are other alternatives:

  • Rennie’s Landing, 1214 Kincaid St. — It’s right next to campus, so you can stumble to class five minutes before it starts. Perfect place to grab a pitcher and watch a game or read a textbook.
  • Eugene City Brewery, 844 Olive St. — Bring your book and order a pint and a burger. On Fridays Eugene City has a trivia night. Since it’s dead week, I’m sure the trivia will be on “organic chemistry” and “microeconomics”.
  • The Bier Stein, 345 E 11th Ave. — Incentivize your studying by buying yourself a beer, one for every chapter you read, one for every hour you study, one for getting out your notes….with so many reasons to study and Cheba Hut next door, it’s a guaranteed win for everyone!
  • Reser Stadium, 105 Gils  Coliseum, Corvallis — Screw finals, its CIVIL WAR.

ODE Can’t Count, What Else Is New?

December 2nd, 2010 by Kellie B.

Hey, Daily Emerald, Hanukkah (or Chanukah) began yesterday, it does not end today. It’s called Google. Try it.

That is all.

Moore turns philosophical. Media digest, Dec. 2, 2010

December 2nd, 2010 by Alex Tomchak Scott

Public affairs:

  • The esoteric and alien to me: The UO Senate passed Wednesday a policy that would increase the influence and powers of retired professors still on the payroll. I know nothing of the context or importance of this move. There is also little information thus far about the discussion with the UO Foundation at the meeting, although UOMatters seemed pretty upset about it in advance this morning. (Emerald)
  • Small tyrannies: It’s probably too late to save the UO Post Office, but people are making noise about it (Emerald, KEZI).
  • Jackboots: DPS cracked down on Oregon Football knockoff products when the Hated Wildcats were in town. (DPS)
  • Fluff, upper lip variety: UO cheese Richard Lariviere sheared off the mustache he had going on to promote prostate cancer awareness Wednesday, commemorating the end of “Movember.” It was a sloping boxcar, surprisingly populist but also definitively white-collar, like something you might see on a gravel-voiced Harlem politician, or perhaps some veteran constable who makes sturdy furniture on the weekends and commands the respect of the squadron’s swinging dicks even though he rides a desk these days (KEZI, Emerald, KVAL).
  • MC Hammer tributes: The ASUO Senate blew through $75,000 in one night. One assumes it’ll wake up next day, its mouth tasting of crystal ashtray filled with the ash of $300 cigars and the charred strips of $100 bills, its clothes emanating the yeasty musk of spilled Dom Perignon, its wrists raw from the impact of a thousand rubber nightclub stamps. (Emerald)
  • Fluff, vomit-soaked: The Emerald speculates on what might ease a hangover. Fluff, bleeding obvious: Emerald says cure for stress is fun. Fluff, brown and wet: There are coffee shops aside from Roma and campus Starbucks, evidently. (Emerald)


  • The Emerald’s Tyree Harris jokes with us about Facebook.
  • Letters: Those writing to the Guard agonize over school planning and adoption, and one guy wants Autzen patrons required to donate to food banks.
  • Editorials: The Guard wants people to quit complaining about requests for a recount, and it shrugs its shoulders at the way TARP turned out.
  • Bob Welch wants you to understand cops a bit, why not?
  • “Why is it the general population only cares about invasive airport security when it expands beyond Muslims and Arabs?”* the Arab Student Union’s co-director asks. It’s a similar point to one I criticized Matt Tellam for yesterday, but Kehdi takes it in the sensible direction: “Invasive airport security is bad, why didn’t you recognize this, as we have all along?”* rather than using the degrading consequences of invasive airport security to somehow justify more invasive airport security.


  • Oregon Football: winning ought at the Hated Beavers’ expense would upset Hated Beavers fans (Oregonian)
  • Oregon Basketball (M): just started discovering hair in places hair didn’t used to be; it’s really hungry all of a sudden and it has these feelings it never used to have; sometimes it’s a little moody; it can barely get along with its mom, Dana Altman, sometimes, and they both cry sometimes for no reason. But Altman hopes OB(M) can use this hard time to make something of itself one day. (Emerald)
  • Oregon Volleyball: is hulking out at the cruelty of the volleyball gods. “The slight caused Oregon coach Jim Moore to turn philosophical[:] ‘Basically the definition of an injustice is that the victim is somebody who was done wrong and they don’t deserve what they got.'” (Emerald)
  • Oregon Cross Country: star Jordan Hasay is the best women’s country-crosser in the land, Larry Scott claims. What can be his intention? She has one of those grade-point averages that may be technically impossible.(Emerald)
  • The Oregonian‘s John Canzano reckons OF prophet Chip Kelly might be too good for college gridiron.
  • Emerald sports-honcho Lucas Clark is having a good time.
* Paraphrase

Spendin’ More Than A New Cadillac: ASUO Senate, Dec. 1 2010

December 1st, 2010 by Rockne Andrew Roll

Click Here to get in on the last Senate Meeting of the year. $45,000 worth of Special Requests on the table tonight!

What are our friends at OSU up to?

December 1st, 2010 by Melissa Haskin

The OSU community has seen quite a bit of action in the last week or so, here are the most notable events:

  • OSU closes early for Thanksgiving break. Snow? Nope, college doesn’t close for snow! Fire, on the other hand, will shut down campus. Wednesday morning the there was a fire in the underground steam tunnels causing campus to smell worse than usual, not to mention the electrical problems it caused.

“The University’s Corvallis campus is closing for the remainder of the day, effective at noon. Damage, smoke issues and other complications resulting from an electrical fire this morning in the university’s steam tunnels has caused widespread problems with electrical service, heating, smoke and network connectivity in a long and growing number of buildings. For the safety of our students, employees and campus visitors, please know that you may leave for the remainder of the day, though essential personnel are expected to remain on the job.”

  • Former OSU student, Mohamed Osman Mohamud, attempted to set off a bomb during the Christmas tree lighting in Portland, but instead got played by the FBI (props to the FBI!).
  • The Corvallis Mosque that Mohamed Osman Mohamud attended was set afire. FBI presume it’s related to the attempted bombing (you think?) and are offering a gratuitous sum of $10,000 for information leading to an arrest.
  • ASOSU sends e-mail to students encouraging them to hold hands and sing kumbaya in these troubling times. The e-mail proceeds to say that Mohamed Osman Mohamud’s involvement with the bomb is “sad”  but that students should respect each other. Hmmm, ironic that the ASOSU is trying to teach respect when the bombing illustrates a complete lack of respect…..Here’s the text of the e-mail (emphasis mine):

“…OSU Students,

As some or most of you are aware, there was an incident this weekend in Portland involving a former OSU Student and an attempt to bomb the Christmas Tree Lighting in Portland’s Pioneer Square. At 2:15 Sunday morning, someone set fire to the Corvallis Mosque, a place of worship for the Corvallis Muslim community. It hasn’t been confirmed whether this was intentional or not, but it is assumed that this arson was in reply to the attempted bombing in Portland.

We want to make it clear to each and every student at OSU we operate as a community, a community that works and lives together as one, inclusive of race, religious orientation, sex, gender, age, size, class, or any other factor that might set us apart.

We need to respect everyone’s differences and we need to realize that the actions of one do not reflect the ideals of many. While the suspected “Christmas Tree” bomber did attend the Mosque that was set to fire, that person also attended OSU. We will not place unjust accusations upon groups of people or organizations of which this individual was a member. This individual made his own choices, choices that should not reflect that of our Muslim student population or our Corvallis Muslim community and we should not be putting them at blame. When it all comes down to it, we are all students. We are all striving at the chance for an education that many people do not get. We are all preparing for dead week and finals week and the stress of tests and projects. We are all part of the OSU community and we should all stand by one another.

It is sad that a former student of OSU was involved so heavily with a bomb plot in Portland, but we will not let this rip apart the community that we have created on campus. We are still students of OSU and we will continue to respect one another despite our many differences. We will not allow these incidents to cause a rift between students because of religion or any other affiliation. We will rise above this and we will show everyone that OSU is a place of diversity, a place that respects each and every student, each and every culture, each and every difference that we all may have.


  • President Ed Ray releases a statement, which is then forwarded to students, saying he disapproves of the arson and condemns hate crimes. Effective President Ray, Effective-because extremists and arsonists are going to change their ways due to an e-mail from you. In addition, a candle light vigil was held today, why? Who the heck knows. From President Ray (who might need to consult the ASOSU, as their e-mail was actually more inspiring):

“While it is important to note that in the American criminal justice system our courts determine guilt or innocence, it is equally important to condemn the activities described in the FBI investigation of Mohamed Osman Mohamud as defenseless and reckless and having no place in civilized society. I share the outrage and shock expressed by others that anyone might have planned to cause such indiscriminate death and destruction.

We must not compound the harm already done by this incident but rather come together as a community here at Oregon State University and throughout the broader Corvallis community. With the support of that broader community we are educating our students to be global citizens and helping students learn about cultures, languages, histories and faith practices around the world. The fire reportedly set at Salman Al-Farisi Islamic Center on Sunday is an act of hate and cowardice, and I condemn it in the strongest terms. Members of the mosque include faculty, staff and students at our university, as well as friends and neighbors and are an important part of who we are as a community. They deserve our most heartfelt regrets for this despicable act and our ready hands to help rebuild what has been lost….

There will be a candlelight vigil tomorrow evening, from 5:30 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. at the Salman Al-Farisi Islamic Center, 610 N.W. Kings Blvd. As other opportunities to support our friends and neighbors arise, we will share them through OSU internal media.”

It seems that our friends at OSU have been a little less than boring lately.

Tired of studying for finals?

December 1st, 2010 by Ben Maras

Want to do something entirely useful with your time instead? Well look no further. Click below for computer science’s greatest ever contribution to humanity. Happy studying!

Click here for awesomeness.

You’re welcome,
– The Oregon Commentator

STOP PALM OIL!!!!!!!! Media digest, Dec. 1, 2010

December 1st, 2010 by Alex Tomchak Scott

Image credit: Uri Fintzy


Dr. Huff and Mr. Tuinei

December 1st, 2010 by Alex Tomchak Scott

I felt like devoting a post to this week’s Jackson Long interview. I don’t know who Long is, even though I’ve met most people who have written for campus publications in the last two years. I can only assume, though, that he has some sort of solid-gold connection/compromising photo of a receivers coach/Jedi mind trick that allows him to commune with Oregon Football players, then put their thoughts in the Emerald every week.

This week, he’s got both of the team’s slot receivers, multi-use bulls-eye Lavasier Tuinei and Swiss Army legs Josh Huff talking to him. These interviews are not quite as entertaining as Cliff Harris’ was a couple of weeks ago, and Long needs some new questions, but there are some gems, starting with this dazzling ruby from Huff:

Before I leave here, this is my plan: I don’t want to be known as the football player who played for the Ducks, I want to be that nice guy everyone knows that helps you with your homework.

(I corrected a seeming typo and punctuation error for clarity) I don’t know whether that epitomizes a dry sense of humor or a sincere civic conscience, but I’m charmed one way or the other; aren’t you? If I was writing a thesis about The Illiad or cramming for an organic chemistry final, you know I’d have Huff on the line.

That’s in stark contrast to Tuinei, who mostly seems to be snapping at Long, and uses really weird jargon, at least to someone who doesn’t really care about football like me: “JuCo”? “‘Ship”? OK, Lavasier. But even he can muster a winning tribute to a teammate:

He will put you first before he puts himself first. I talked to him today, he sent me a text message. It was something like: “I played (against Arizona) like I had a burden on my shoulder because I was playing that game for you. I knew I had to win these last games so you (Lavasier) could be back to play in the future.” That touches me. I feel like he is one of my best friends.

And here’s another thing:

What we do is what we love to do —­ play football. What happens on campus has nothing to do with us. I’m not saying it is fair or not fair that we get the Jaqua or new clothes, we just happen to have more support than other people. We do bring in the money and it is helpful to have things like that. Man, you should just take that up with Phil Knight, you ask Phil Knight that tough question. People need to know we work hard for theses things, we bust ourselves for that stuff.

“Graham cracker logic”; a media digest special on the Emerald magazine and Student Insurgent.

December 1st, 2010 by Alex Tomchak Scott

Here’s my look at the two most recent campus magazines: the Insurgent and Emerald Magazine. Expect the end of the term to bring you a couple more: Our holiday issue and, I assume, a new Ethos.

Das Kapital