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Covered Wagon U. Media digest, Dec. 7, 2010

Warning: This media digest contains graphic depictions of stethoscope-wielding silver fox John Kitzhaber. The symmetry between a guillotine blade as it plummets and the sharpened creases of his chevron mustache as his teeth grit with bloodlust is not recommended for all readers. Any heads of major university systems in the state are advised to consult their doctors before reading this post. More below.

A Kitzhaber daydream.

Public affairs:

  • The Guillotine: 80s porn-governor John Kitzhaber appears to be sharpening it for, among others, Oregon University System cheese George Pernsteiner (UO cheese Richard Lariviere’s boss), he of the decadent pay raises in a recession. The manner in which he’s done it is profoundly badass, simply sending out a mass e-mail to state agencies with a list of those whose heads should have letters of resignation ready for when he assumes the throne. I know this is the Oregon Commentator or whatever, but if he plans to govern in the throbbing, perpendicular, crimson manner this indicates, his term should be uproariously exciting at the least. (Willamette Week). And thanks to UO Matters, who wonders if Kitzy will give Pernsteiner a Frohn-esque golden parachute for his troubles, for the tip-off.
  • Scheduling: The UO’s evidently had problems with ticketing that has led to people spending thousands on Elton John, but is working to correct that, presumably thanks to Mr. Ooh-la-la, whom I wrote off unfairly yesterday (Oregonian, KEZI). Oregon Football troglodyte visor model Chipper Kelly and blathering Fat Joe tribute act Phil Knight are aiming to shoot Kitzhaber’s inauguration as governor out of the sky in the TV ratings war. I wonder: will the bridge club lothario, a UO alumnus, even watch the inauguration? (Register-Guard)
  • Travel: If you want to go to Glendale, Ariz., for the national championship, you probably better start deciding which of your arms you’d soonest trade to touts and forsake plane tickets. (Register-Guard, KDRV)
  • “Crime”: The Dutch Bros. coffee chain’s gunslinging hero was in violation of some company policy (KVAL); Some ESPN mouthpiece had his real head stolen by someone in Corvallis, and now there are felony charges afoot. (Oregonian, Register-Guard, KVAL, KEZI, KMTR, AP)
  • Irrelevant blind-spots: Where is Auburn University? Evidently several on East 13th Avenue don’t know, although the segment here’s not terribly informative itself (KEZI). Auburn fans probably haven’t got a much clearer idea, though, a blogger postulates (Saturday Down South).
  • UO job postings: Executive assistant, Academic Affairs.
  • Glitz: UO’s men’s a cappella choir didn’t get kicked off its reality program immediately (Oregonian). And yeah, if you want to see the video of them performing, it is here, which I post only because I love you in spite of the possibility you may be interested in such things.


  • Editorials: The Oregonian wants the UO to use Oregon Football’s trip to Glendale, Ariz., to catalyze a strengthening of its academic side. Its suggested method — “real and sustained investment” and “great leadership, persistence and determination” — is probably something the UO would try if it could, but it’s probably fair enough when the Oregonian says:
    • It is absolutely true that Oregon does not provide adequate funding for its academic universities, including the UO. That is arguably the single greatest public failure in this state. But don’t blame Phil Knight, Chip Kelly or the Ducks football team for what’s happened to public funding for universities. Blame the voters who passed the Measure 5 property tax limitation and an entire generation of Oregon legislators that has failed to invest in higher education.
  • Letters: In the Guard, there is venom for the tea party, rural K–12, and the UO ticket office.
  • A blogger said Alabama, despite its reputation, is a better state for higher ed than Oregon, but also argues against any change in the way football’s run (Outside the Beltway). Higher education blogger Margaret Soltan has contributed a pithy phrase to the fray (University Diaries). Both of them are blogging a propos of Scott Woodward.
  • UO Matters frowns at what he sees as the drying of UO cheese Richard Lariviere’s candor spigot.
  • More editorials: Guard: ‘Want to pay for schools with your taxes? Good luck, chump.’; Guard: ‘Golden and Saxton, huh? Way to go Kitzy.’ Statesman-Journal: Appears to have been copying the Oregonian’s notes.
  • One architecture blogger is pretty stoked on the UO’s architect choices for its architecture school. (SW Oregon Architect)
  • Reasons the UO thinks you should give it money today: David R. is stoked on both the Ducks’ and his own going to Glendale, Ariz., while Korrin B. won’t ever stop telling people about it. Also, she thinks some sort of homeopathic remedy is pretty cool. Trafton B. is soiling himself over post-collegiate life (in a bad way) and Oregon Football (in a good way). (UO’s online begging bowl).


  • So as to allow you to bask more effectively, Sports Illustrated has aggregated some of its favorite Oregon Football stories from the past 53 years.
  • The Register-Guard’s George Schroeder says, hey, what about that Mike Bellotti fellow. Could Oregon Football mourning enthusiast Chipper Kelly not give the former Oregon Football wad-palmer a piece of his Eddie Robinson Award? Perhaps the pencil mustache or the necktie?
  • Oregon Football: uninvited funeral guest Chipper Kelly has gotten college football’s coaching gong, while scampering gong-tempter LaMike James is on the list of four people most tempting to college football’s top individual gong (KVAL, KMTR, KTUL, Statesman-Journal); the Chipper also got another gong, but will have to share it with Hated Cardinal cheese Jim Harbaugh (Oregonian);  will play a Hated Tigers team that includes thunderbolt-slinging, zephyr-heeled fraud god Cam Newton, (Register-Guard); longtime voice Jerry Allen is stoked on going to Glendale (Register-Guard); clay pigeon Jeff Maehl’s hometown paper writes about the whole Glendale, Ariz., thing (Paradise Post); fans are getting to know Auburn fans in an online-dating–like environment (Track ‘Em Tigers)
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