Public affairs:

• Cash ejaculations: If Oregon Football wins the game against the Hated Beavs this week, it will unleash a $4.3 million torrent of bonuses and extensions for its cunning visor model Chip Kelly, USA Today reports. It appears, though, if I’m picking up what the newspaper’s putting down, that Kelly would also get the money if OF lost to the Hated Beavs, then won its bowl game. This is in contrast to the privations on the UO’s academic side, including a voluntary pay cut for UO cheese Richard Lariviere, the article also says. I’m kind of hoping some of those dollars come from a certain Beaverton-based tycoon, rather than a certain Eugene-based journalism student and 20,000 or so others with similar profiles. (USA Today)
• Jackboots: More people than ever are getting kicked out of Autzen, and the Guard’s article and headline can’t quite seem to agree whether it’s because of more policing or an improvement in the Ducks’ fortunes (Guard).
• Picketing: Former ASUO and Emerald so-and-so Robert D’Andrea, ASUO president Amelie Rousseau and Postal Union cheese Jim Kubli will be holding a protest against the post-office closure today (Weekly blog).
• Ironic deaths: The police are going after the alleged accomplice of the man allegedly shot dead while trying to rob a Dutch Bros. coffee stand, but not the employee who allegedly killed him. (Register-Guard, KMTR, AP)
• 38 agents will be here before you scratch your worthless balls: Honestly, why would anyone want to be associated with the catastrophe that is “Taken”? That should have been the first clue. Now the non-hunter becomes the hunted. (Emerald)
• Posts: A UO prof. got appointed to some team by John Kitzhaber. (Emerald)
• ASUO: The Jewish Student Union wants $40,000 in student fee money for a musician, they just don’t know who. Egads. (Emerald)
• Lariviere briefly had a Wikipedia page today, but it was taken down for “vandalism.”
• Events: There will be one in Portland on Friday (Voice) and another ongoing that will benefit hospices (Ethos). It’s also time for the UO’s annual jimmy-fair (Emerald).

Opinion:

• The Emerald’s Matt Tellam decides those who oppose the TSA’s new scans are racist. Yeah, I wish I was making that up.
• The Emerald’s Tyree Harris uses the Emerald’s shallot to envision a very different take on the whole “what if PK gave his money to nerds, not jocks” idea.
• Letters: In the Guard has one letter by someone who thinks solving the national debt starts with liking OF.
• Editorials: The Guard shrugs at government spittle on WikiLeaks and chortles at New York.
• So I guess Kanye West just made the Hanging Gardens of Babylon of records. (Ethos)
• Some school board guy tells us a bunch about schools. (Register-Guard)
• PALM OIL KILLS!!!! (Emerald)

Sports:

• Oregon Football: fans are having to pay at least two limbs for tickets to the OF-Hated Beavs game (KVAL), while tickets to a presumptive Glendale date are already scarce (Register-Guard); scampering gong-tempter LaMike James is still texting his man-mates, bowling novices Quizz and James Rodgers (Register-Guard); has a couple of coaching assistants who really put the “hated” in “Hated Beavs” (Oregonian); players aren’t allowed to follow the word “national” with the word “chapionship” (KMTR and KVAL, which has a recording of a fantastically antagonistic Chip Kelly at a press conference); rivals the Hated Beavs have a history of Daviding Goliaths, even if they also turn in limp performances other times, and they’re not even too bothered with klaxon-voiced gill net Cliff Harris’ needles of last weekend (KEZI, Oregonian, Register-Guard); relic Joey Harrington has a fear of Corvallis so ridiculous he needs to calm himself down with ice cream if he gets near there (Register-Guard)
• Oregon Volleyball: has some players who get respect, even if the team doesn’t (Register-Guard, Emerald).
• Oregon Basketball (W): player Amanda Johnson was better than everyone else last weekend, the gongs say. (Emerald)
• Oregon Basketball (M): player-in-waiting Brett Kingma’s back from injury (Seattle Times).
• Oregon Cross-Country: will have some big-time* runner from New York next year (Gannett papers).
• Oregon Baseball: has a flashy portfolio of rain-soaked Majors-bait (Guard).
• The Emerald’s Patrick Malee was like, hey, did we just win a championship or something? (Emerald)

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 1st, 2010 at 07:00 by Alex Tomchak Scott and is filed under Media. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.