This morning’s headlines: It’s ten thirty. I just woke up on a couch. This house (not mine) is a bit of a mess. People seem to have written cryptic messages all over the walls with an assortment of brightly-coloured crayons. I am surrounded by half-empty wine bottles and ridiculous hats, all coated with a viscous residue of whisky and evil. There is a three-second delay between my telling my body to do something and it actually getting done, which is making typing difficult and will also cause problems in the event of fire or structural collapse. I need coffee in the worst way imaginable. Also, my shoes, which are presumably around here somewhere.

I just ventured into the next room, and it was worse. Still, at least this computer survived, so I can send the following message of hope:

Happy New Year, readers! Oh my God, I feel like I’m going to die. I feel like I’m going through some horrific larval stage, at the end of which a really hungover insect will emerge from the lifeless husk of my skin. I feel like my stomach has congealed, my liver has ruptured, my kidneys have just left the warranty period and promptly stopped working. But things could always be worse!

Hmmm. Maybe I should have done the message of hope bit last night. If I recall correctly, things seemed a bit more hopeful then. Happy New Year, anyway. (If you want proper news content, Tim Berners-Lee has been knighted for “services to the internet”. That’s all I got, people.)

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 1st, 2004 at 03:39 by Sho and is filed under Miscellaneous. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.