Memo From The Public Health Department
I’m very sorry to see Genesis close their doors. That was some righteously good juice. If you get a chance while they work through their current stock, grab a Green Life smoothie and become forever unsatiated by Odwalla.
In related news: Kudos to our benefactors at the Collegiate Network, and Justin in particular, for a very enjoyable Saturday evening. However, I think we should now declare some kind of moratorium on the purchase or consumption of the forty-two ounce Cuervo 1400 margaritas. This would also apply to the concoction and decanting of them, and the joyous brandishing of them above the head in both hands. While I’m at it, even the hinting at or making of veiled references to them should probably be discouraged. Needless to say, the blowing of bubbles in them – whether using a straw, or after having partially submerged your head in their vasty depths – also falls under this general scheme of self-preservation.
If the Genesis Juice Collective is a public health risk, then the forty-two ounce Cuervo 1400 margaritas are nothing less than a terrible punishment meted out by a vengeful deity. We’re living in the End Times, people.
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