Somehow, I Don’t Think This Is Going To Catch On
Feb 14 one either feels lonely, but also like a tool for letting a made-up sap holiday get to one, and thus ends up drinking heavily. Or, if one is in a relationship, one ends up shelling out a pile of cash for a meal and some trinket or flowers and feels equally like a tool because, again, the greeting card companies have gotten to one. Not that I don’t appreciate a holiday entirely concieved for the purposes of capitalism, I most certainly do, but I also hate feeling crappy or shelling out close to $100 for consumables. Furthermore, why the fuck are flowers so expensive? Okay, yeah, I know why [The Market], but that’s not the point. Just buying the goddamn rosebush would be cheaper and last longer.
That’s why March 14 has been declared Steak and Blowjob day! Heck, just so everybody can have a good time, it can be Steak and Oral Sex day for all I care! It’s much simpler, more to the point, and at worst you’re only paying $20 or so for a couple of nice ribeyes and some beer. I know it’s a little late to make any plans for this year, but there’s always next. Or, alternatively, you can always just wait for No Pants Day to celebrate.
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