Too Stupid…err…Fat To Live
Via Asymmetrical Information It appears that some total jerkoff is suing Atkins for making him an unhealthy joker with clogged arteries. Wait just a goddamn minute, this idiot weighed 148 and decided to try to lose weight by dieting? He didn’t think that, gee, maybe eating nothing but fats and proteins would have a negative effect on his health in total? Go for a goddamn run or a bike ride or something you fool! Lucky he wasn’t on the damn diet for long enough to cause renal failure or shut down his pancreas via Type II Diabetes. What a maroon, as they say.
LOW CARB!
In yo face!
Dan, I like the way you think.
Timbo: I figure if you’re dumb enough to do these things without thinking about them, maybe you deserve whatever goddamn consequence you get. A low-carb diet for a long period of time, especially without exercise, will cause kidney and liver damage in addition to putting you at risk for diabetes and heart trouble; if folks can’t figure that out on their own, well, let ’em suffer.
I propose an out-of-court settlement: send him to me and I’ll put him on the Atkinson diet. How does it work? Well, it’s like bulimia except without any solid, non-alcoholic foods.
On the other hand, every freaking place I go –restaurants, grocery stores, even gas stations — I see Atkins-friendly or low-carb foods, and it pisses me off. Most people don’t read the books and therefore have no idea what the diet is about, why it works, or how to make it work. A friend of mine works at Trader Joe’s and constantly rails about the fat cows that come in and buy out all their low-carb chocolate bars.
This guy is clearly not going to get any money (if he does I will kill this baby kitten in a manner more horrible than you could possibly imagine), but maybe some people will hear about it and not kill themselves through misinformation and sophophobia.
But I doubt it.
Obviously something was mentally wrong with the man to begin with. He wanted to lose eight pounds, yet he chose the Atkins plan rather than, oh, eating healthier and walking more, or something similar. Smart move, fat ass.