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Sudsy Wants You to Join the Oregon Commentator


Ron Artest, the Beast with the Least, in his first interview since the unfortunate incident. At least he didn’t pull a Kobe. Although I hear that the man Artest hit left the Palace and was hit by three other men before he went to the authorities, had a history of promiscuous fight-starting, and in fact never said no to Artest’s advances to start a fight. But who are we to determine when “no” means “no”?

Hey, kids, repeat after me: it’s just a game. Just a game. It’s not about who threw the first punch. All that matters is that you gave it your best and beat the snot out of someone.

“It was Artest’s first national interview since he was suspended for charging into the stands and fighting with fans late in Friday night’s game against the Detroit Pistons in Auburn Hills, a Detroit suburb. The suspension amounts to 72 games in an 82-game season, and means he will lose about $5 million.”

And the guy who started the fight? One John Green, aka Mr. Perfect Sober Man, aka Mr. I Didn’t Throw the Cup, aka Mr. Big Fat Liar.

“…Gorcyca said Green was on probation for his third offense of driving under the influence. Green’s record also includes convictions for carrying a concealed weapon and check fraud, according to the Michigan Department of Corrections’ database…Green is a season-ticket holder and will be banned from The Palace.”

I say we drop the whole thing, let the two have a Cage Death Match, and get on with the roundball season. I have me some Jason Kidd to drool over.

  1. Timothy says:

    A Fish!

  2. ko says:

    Can I nominate this thread for Wierd Topic Shift of the Week, then?

  3. Olly says:

    Casey, have you been deeply hurt in the past, or what?

  4. Casey says:

    Ugly girls can never keep their mouths shut.

  5. Timothy says:

    And liking ugly girls, but hey, they need love too.

  6. Danimal says:

    Aside from his marriage, you mean.

  7. Melissa says:

    So does Bill Clinton, and clearly he has no problems in his love life.

  8. Danimal says:

    To each their own. He looks like a rejected Muppets character to me.

  9. Melissa says:

    I never said I wanted to join him in holy brutal matrimony. He’s just nice to look at.

  10. Marla says:

    Scott Peterson:

    Needs to improve: Beating the same wife-killing rap as other sports figures. Also, his abyssmal jump shot.

  11. Olly says:

    Bill Simmons has what I think is the ultimate column on the Artest brawl, here. His comment on Artest landing in Portland in the near future: Doesn’t it seem like his destiny to play there? Unfortunately, after everything Portland fans have gone through, the Blazers would probably rather trade for Scott Peterson.See also here.

  12. Casey says:

    I wouldn’t drool over Jason Kidd for too long. He’s likely to kick your ass, just like he did with his wife in PHX a few years before the trade to NJ. It amazing how a relocation across the country washes over a history of domestic violence.

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