OC Special Coverage: The Daily Emerald Awards Banquet
The venerable Gerlinger Lounge was the site of the Annual (‘Ol Dirty) Daily Emerald Awards Banquet last night. Our reporter, embedded with the catering staff tended a mean bar (see photos) and was there for all the thrills, highlights and technical malfunctions. A hearty turnout of some 50 staff were treated to campus caterings “not quite donor level” cuisine and a full soft-drink bar. The resulting overcaffeination was, sadly, unable to inspire much more than consciousness through the seemingly endless affair (word to ‘Ol Dirty… every other awards show we cater springs for the hosted beer and wine bar… for good reasons.)
All the luminous names were there, as outgoing Editor-In-Chief Parker Howell emcee’d with the confidence of a true leader. With only the most requisite of self-congratulation, Howell recalled the highlights of ’05-’06 Emerald journalism, from Keggergate to the Great Flood of Some Campus Buildings. A sweet slide of classic memory moments highlighted the fact that the Emerald is more than just a dull, mediocre rag that does manage to print every day: it’s a family.
But the main event was clearly the awards. When the dinner was over, the guest speaker was done talking about the good old days, and the advertising department had showed up, Managing Editor Shadra Beesley introduced the ceremony by thanking her “very special people… for all their ‘special-ness'”. Senior News Reporter Nick Wilbur won three awards, including the “Inch Master” award for writing some ridiculous amount of copy. Wilbur’s fans will be saddened to hear that he did not beat the Emerald record which was set by Howell last year, a fact noted by Howell after Wilbur had received his award. On another depressing note, Gabe Bradley was not present to receive some award referencing his column about penises.
Hands down the funniest award went to Ailee Slater, who won the “Most Spewed” title for her groundbreaking weekly columns (word to Howell, that’s a Tater award, thank you… now we’re gonna have to name a new one after you). Refreshingly, Ms Slater was able to have a sense of humor about he award, allowing us to bring you our high-quality camera phone images to immortalize the event.
Eventually, the guests left to their oft-mentioned “after-parties” (guys… if that was the “party”), leaving my sorry ass to clear up their dishes, recycle their Dr Pepper cans, and adios Shawn Miller’s dead hooker. Really though, they were a great group, and it’s cool that they didn’t tip… no one else ever does.
Ailee Slater: She’s Spew-tastic, and a good sport too
Bar choices at Daily Emerald Awards Show
Artist rendering of bar choices at Commentator Awards Show
UPDATE: Emerald Awards Banquet After-Party Erupts into Drunken Hilarity
