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OC Special Coverage: The Daily Emerald Awards Banquet

The venerable Gerlinger Lounge was the site of the Annual (‘Ol Dirty) Daily Emerald Awards Banquet last night. Our reporter, embedded with the catering staff tended a mean bar (see photos) and was there for all the thrills, highlights and technical malfunctions. A hearty turnout of some 50 staff were treated to campus caterings “not quite donor level” cuisine and a full soft-drink bar. The resulting overcaffeination was, sadly, unable to inspire much more than consciousness through the seemingly endless affair (word to ‘Ol Dirty… every other awards show we cater springs for the hosted beer and wine bar… for good reasons.)

All the luminous names were there, as outgoing Editor-In-Chief Parker Howell emcee’d with the confidence of a true leader. With only the most requisite of self-congratulation, Howell recalled the highlights of ’05-’06 Emerald journalism, from Keggergate to the Great Flood of Some Campus Buildings. A sweet slide of classic memory moments highlighted the fact that the Emerald is more than just a dull, mediocre rag that does manage to print every day: it’s a family.

But the main event was clearly the awards. When the dinner was over, the guest speaker was done talking about the good old days, and the advertising department had showed up, Managing Editor Shadra Beesley introduced the ceremony by thanking her “very special people… for all their ‘special-ness'”. Senior News Reporter Nick Wilbur won three awards, including the “Inch Master” award for writing some ridiculous amount of copy. Wilbur’s fans will be saddened to hear that he did not beat the Emerald record which was set by Howell last year, a fact noted by Howell after Wilbur had received his award. On another depressing note, Gabe Bradley was not present to receive some award referencing his column about penises.

Hands down the funniest award went to Ailee Slater, who won the “Most Spewed” title for her groundbreaking weekly columns (word to Howell, that’s a Tater award, thank you… now we’re gonna have to name a new one after you). Refreshingly, Ms Slater was able to have a sense of humor about he award, allowing us to bring you our high-quality camera phone images to immortalize the event.

Eventually, the guests left to their oft-mentioned “after-parties” (guys… if that was the “party”), leaving my sorry ass to clear up their dishes, recycle their Dr Pepper cans, and adios Shawn Miller’s dead hooker. Really though, they were a great group, and it’s cool that they didn’t tip… no one else ever does.

Ailee Slater: She's Spew-tastic, and a great sport

Ailee Slater: She’s Spew-tastic, and a good sport too


Bar choices at Daily Emerald Awards Show


Artist rendering of bar choices at Commentator Awards Show

UPDATE: Emerald Awards Banquet After-Party Erupts into Drunken Hilarity

  1. Niedermeyer says:

    God, I hope the point of the 5 year diversity plan is not to determine what kind of articles campus publications can write.

    But hey, that’s not my internal editorial debate/beer bottle fight.

  2. Evan says:

    For the record, the “drunken hilarity” resulted because Calderon, who is probably one of the dumbest people I’ve ever met, beligerently insisted that the Emerald should only be allowed to write articles about “how you can’t make fun of minorities.” Isn’t that why we have the Five-Year Diversity Plan?

  3. Matt P. says:

    I think Nick’s Total Copy Written About Dallas Brown topped everyone though. He’ll surely go down in the record books for that honor.

  4. Timothy says:

    I’ll give you a ring and a home sweet home
    And if you want you’ll be free to roam
    But not too far I’m begging you please
    Begging you please upon my bended knees

    ‘Cause if you don’t love me I’ll kill myself
    If you don’t love me I’ll kill myself
    If you don’t love me I’ll kill myself
    If you don’t love me I’ll kill myself

  5. Bryan says:

    You better bet your life
    My love will cut you
    Cut you like a knife
    You better love me
    You better try now
    You better love me
    Like you’re alive now

  6. Meghann says:

    Nick’s copy total was less than mine was last year, too. So snap.

  7. Stees says:

    Catie is probably Catie Hager, whose boyfriend does have a daily paper.

  8. Niedermeyer says:

    Ian, I hope you don’t need to be warned again about posting Avril Lavigne lyrics. I kinda feel like I shouldn’t have to tell you that this is a serious website. That gets taken seriously.

  9. Catie says:

    Oh shoot, and another *gasp* – I guess we can’t all be perfect. Nice poem.

  10. Catie says:

    Opps Catie had a error…

  11. Ian says:

    Today’s the day
    I pray that we make it through
    Make it through the fall
    Make it through it all
    And I don’t wanna fall to pieces
    I just want to sit and stare at you
    I don’t want to talk about it
    And I don’t want a conversation
    I just want to cry in front of you
    I don’t want to talk about it
    Cuz I’m in Love With you

  12. Catie says:

    Okay, I’m sorry, I must be wrong. But, thank you for your conservitive voice within the community – I honestly do appreciate it sometimes being a Republican.

  13. Ian says:

    Catie I heard in an LA Times Podcast that Bill O’Reilly is a very respected journalist. I think you should take that into consideration the next time you post on our serious Internet website that we take very seriously and in a serious manner at all times. This was in a Podcast so I’m quite sure it was factual.

  14. Anthony says:

    Catie, why waste your time talking so much smack about a publication on THEIR blog? Start your own publication and then make fun of the OC if you want, stop being a tool.

  15. Catie says:

    Oh, Bill O’Reilly called you “‘responsible journalism'” so that’s an accomplishment now? This is the man who said Dallas Brown was his hero! Oh man, I really wish I worked for the OC now – Bill O’Reilly, I think I would pee my pants!

  16. Niedermeyer says:

    In the grand Emerald tradition, I’ll offer an editorial qualification/equivocation. 1. Yes, it was a slow news day. The AP sent us nothing.
    2. Our fact checking sucks. As does our ad department. So I end up as your caterer and poke some fun at you on the web. And they say life isn’t fair.
    3. Apostrophe’s are confusing. So are the motivations for attending onanistic awards ceremonies. Win some/lose some.
    4. Hey, Bill O’Reilly called us “responsible journalism” without ever having read an issue. That’s good enough for me.
    Thanks, and keep reading

  17. Catie says:

    Not really, but you must be associated with the OC. I like the journalism ethics portrayed by your staff person. Evidently ethics are only for real publications so I guess you don’t need to bother with the SPJ code of ethics do you? But yes, I was at the infamous banquet and you’ll just have to guess as to what I was wearing.

  18. Tyler says:

    So, are you with the ODE Catie? Oh, and what are you wearing?

  19. Catie says:

    You did a great job checking for errors in your post. The OC must be a top notch publication considering you haven’t figured out how to properly use apostrophes. Must have been a slow news day.

  20. Shadra says:

    I didn’t just thank my very special people for their specialness, I gave them awards for it.

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