Romney goes red-baiting
Oh dear, oh dear. Mitt Romney is on the war path. Instead of attacking his fellow Republicans, he’s switched tactics and turned his sights to the Democrats. Recently in Massachusetts, for example, Romney compared Hillary Clinton to Karl Marx, waxing thus:
“She said we have been an ‘on-your-own society’ and she says we need to replace that with shared responsibility and ‘working together society.’ That’s out with (free-market pioneer) Adam Smith and in with Karl Marx.”
Granted, we here at the Commentator are no fans of socialized medicine, but comparing Hillary Clinton to Karl Marx is like comparing, say, a Ford Festiva to Bigfoot the monster truck. One is laughable and weak, and the other is powerful, yet taken way too seriously by stupid people. Just for the sake of argument, though, let’s compare Hillary Clinton and Karl Marx to see how they stack up against each other.
Occupation
Marx: social and political theorist, father of Marxism
Clinton: Senator of New York
Magnum Opus
Marx: Das Kapital
Clinton: Living History
Victim of
Marx: Bourgiousie and capitalist mode of production
Clinton: vast, right-wing conspiracy
Facial Hair
Marx: heavily bearded
Clinton: lightly mustachioed
Biggest influence
Marx: Hegel
Clinton: her parents, of course
Most embarassing moment
Marx: awkward transition between early focus on alienation and later works on political economy
Clinton: that one time her husband recieved oral gratification from an intern in the Oval Office
Quotable quote
Marx: “Religious suffering is, at one and the same time, the expression of real suffering and a protest against real suffering. Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people.”
Clinton: “I wonder if it’s possible to be a Republican and a Christian at the same time. ”
Sorry, Mitt. I’m gonna have to call bullshit on your analogy. Not that I doubt for a moment your expertise on influential political and economic theorists, it just seems like, well, a little bit of a stretch.
