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Metal Monday: Up in Smoke Edition

Today’s Metal Monday is going with an “up in smoke” theme for two reasons. First, the OC hosted the first Springtime Great American Smoke-in down in the EMU amphitheater. Freedom-loving students proudly lit up their cigars, pipes and cigarettes, and there was much harrumphing had by all. In fact, it was so much of a success that OC Publisher Guy Simmons vomited freedom-chunks all over the ground after smoking two fat stogies.

Second, a report released on Friday by the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy found that teenagers who frequently smoked pot were twice as likely to have experienced depression within the last year. Of course, this is from the same government that also told us that smoking pot will make you shoot your friend in the face and run over little girls on bicycles. And never mind all those other studies that found no causal relationship between marijuana and mental illness.

Good thing we have that watchdog press, though. “High teens down and out” says the Boston Herald headline. “Report: Depressed teens, marijuana a dangerous mix” warns CNN.

But if all that sensationalism doesn’t scare Little Timmy away from the bong, try this: Compared to their sober peers, teenagers who regularly smoke marijuana are 100 percent more likely to start bands like Electric Wizard.

On a very metal side note, check out this graph from the Boston Herald story:

Even more disturbing, three teens in Texas were arrested this week after they dug up a child’s grave and turned his skull into a bong. The remains are believed to be that of an 11-year-old boy who died in 1921.

  1. Alex says:

    I’ve run over SO many little girls on my bicycle in this month alone. Good thing I don’t drive.

  2. Shadow says:

    wish I could have been there!

  3. Gsim says:

    It was a humbling experience.

  4. Sean Jin says:

    I can’t believe I missed Guy puking…

  5. Vincent says:

    Wouldn’t blunt force trauma ruin the skull, making it not-useful as a bong?

  6. CJ Ciaramella says:

    I don’t know; I’ve always been a blunt force trauma guy myself. That story kind of reminds me of this Onion article.

  7. Vincent says:

    Well, how am I supposed to get their skull if I don’t cut their throat first?

  8. CJ Ciaramella says:

    No, you should make a bong out of their skull.

  9. Vincent says:

    Also, to the person who stole my sweet leather-covered outdoors pipe: if you’re reading this, know that I will hunt you down and cut your thieving fucking throat from ear to ear.

    Pretty weak, man. Pretty weak.

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