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Sex and the Windy City

Northwestern Professor John Michael Bailey has been put in a compromising position after his recent post-class demonstration was met with explosive reactions. Bailey’s Human Sexuality class, like many others, covers topics ranging from transexuality to masturbation, but unlike the course you can take here at UO, he has after-class “educational addendums,” the most recent being a live demonstration of a woman being penetrated by a this:


It’s called a fucksaw, and for around $170 you can get your very own. The after class special was a discussion on kink and sexual fetish, where students could touch clown wigs, feel the “titillating” sting of an erotic electric shock device, and watch as Faith Kroll (pictured below) stripped naked and was penetrated by the toy, wielded by her fiance, Jim Marcus.

Kroll and finace Marcus

It is yet unclear as to what, if any kind of repercussions this will have for Professor Bailey, but of course some critics are already spurting with disapproval. The demonstration “troubled and disappointed” Northwestern University President Morton Shapiro, who also called for an investigation. The addendum was an optional part of class, no credit was given for attending, and because the act was performed in a classroom setting it is considered legal. But was it necessary for student comprehension? Yes, says Bailey, Kroll, and Marcus. During the lecture the class watched a video depicting a female orgasm which both Kroll and Marcus found to be inadequate and thought they could give a much more realistic example right then and there. Kroll and Marcus are self-proclaimed exhibitionists, meaning they derive their sexual pleasure from being watched during the dirty deed.

“Both Professor Bailey and myself gave [the students] five or six warnings about what was about to happen and it would be graphic,” said Ken Melvoin-Berg, who was the main guest lecturer and who is also co-owner of Weird Chicago Tours. The most important precaution taken, in this writer’s opinion, was the towel that Kroll made sure to lay down beneath her before the love session began.

So far no lawsuits have been filed, so it seems that none of the students were severely traumatized by watching the 25-year-old get totally reamed by a fucksaw.

“It is probably something I will remember for the rest of my life. I can’t say that about my Econ 202 class and the material that I learned there,” said Justin Smith, a Northwestern senior.

But the real question at the heart of this controversy: did Kroll actually climax for the class, or was she just faking it? That is a mystery we may never be able to answer, or at least not until the cell phone videos begin surfacing.

  1. Java says:

    Let’s see. The last few years students protested a bunch of elderly free thinkers – think Pacifica Forum – and all hell broke loose, especially when free speech arguments gave way to accusations of “safety issues.” And you think this isn’t deserving of the same??? How ’bout responsible journalism on a plate. I hear this isn’t the Pussy Daily. Not that I much care, but if nothing else, y’all don’t know where to shop. ($19.99)

    Btw, there’s a follow-up:

  2. Gsim says:

    170 bucks for a saw with a dildo attachment? That’s pretty damn expensive.

    Reciprocating saws start at around 60 bucks. If it’s going to be a sexy toy it doesn’t have to be professional grade. Even under the heaviest use the fucksaw isn’t going to be working as hard as a saw ripping plywood all day.

  3. MiB says:

    Well. At least it wasn’t anal.

  4. If we use the umbrella of the Commentator we can file as a non-profit & use all the money for beer.

  5. CJ says:

    My middle name is Fucksaw.

  6. C.W. Keating says:

    I think we need to start marketing more power tool/sex toy combos, either at Home Depot or Castle Megastore… hopefully both.

    Some ideas:
    – The ScrewDriver
    – Ass Soldering
    – 2×4 stocks (for those with a medieval kink)
    – The Cum Gun
    – Caulk for Cocks

    I’m preparing a PowerPoint for both companies. Should be lucrative.

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