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On English Coastal Towns:

I’m unwilling to research this one, for fear of spoiling a beautiful quote with facts. So I shall report it exactly as I heard it in the pub last night.

At some point during the invasion of Iraq, at a press briefing or something like that, the town of Umm Qasr was described as a “strategically important port, like Southampton.”

The story goes that a squaddie saw this reported and responded thus:

Either he’s never been to Umm Qasr, or he’s never been to Southampton. There’s no beer, no prostitutes, and people are shooting at us. It’s really more like Portsmouth.

Possibly-apochryphal quote of the year, I’m saying.

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