I’m unwilling to research this one, for fear of spoiling a beautiful quote with facts. So I shall report it exactly as I heard it in the pub last night.
At some point during the invasion of Iraq, at a press briefing or something like that, the town of Umm Qasr was described as a “strategically important port, like Southampton.”
The story goes that a squaddie saw this reported and responded thus:
Either he’s never been to Umm Qasr, or he’s never been to Southampton. There’s no beer, no prostitutes, and people are shooting at us. It’s really more like Portsmouth.
Possibly-apochryphal quote of the year, I’m saying.