Karl, Martin, and Albert…A Lover’s Tale
Okay, not really. But, German TV viewers have selected Karl Marx, Martin Luther and Albert Einstein as among the top 10 Germans.
I can see the sit-com now:
Albert: God does not play dice with the Universe!
Martin: Certainly he does not, and that is why the Catholic Church must be reformed.
Karl: What’s that got to do with the proletariat’s struggle versus the oppressive capitalist? He uses the M-C-M process to extract surplus value from the blood of workers!
Albert: I just can’t work under these conditions! I’m going to America, I’ll catch you clowns later.
[Exit Einstein, Right]
Martin: You know…I think I’ll translate the Bible into German.
Karl: Yeah, you do that…now if I could just find a way to get my ideas to the oppressed masses….
[Enter Johannes Gutenberg, Left]
Johannes: You know, I’ve got this device that just might be able to help, I invented it just last week. It reproduces text at an incredible rate.
Karl: Sounds great, take me to this device so I might free the masses from their slavery.
Martin: Can I use it after Karl’s done? I’d really like to disseminate some theses and anti-semitism…err…bibles. Yes, bibles.
Johannes: Sure, sounds good fellas.
Einstein is a no-brain choice for a greatest Germans list. And I’ll even give Luther a (temporary) pass on the anti-semitism given that the Protestant reformation was one of the turning points in human history. But Marx? Okay, yes, I am adverse to his ideology. But, his writing and philosophy made possible the worst attrocities of the 20th century. Read Communist Manifesto or Das Kapital and you’ve got a virtual 19th-century Anarchist’s Cookbook. Violent revolution, confiscation of property…and that’s only the beginning. Call me crazy, but I’d not want to claim him for my country. Silly Germans.
