The OC Blog Back Issues Our Mission Contact Us Masthead
Sudsy Wants You to Join the Oregon Commentator

Maybe This Hasn’t Been A Complete Waste Of Time

I must admit that when I asked for all future Christian proselytizing in our comment section to be done in rhyming verse, my expectations were not that high. (Although I’m sure there are some inadvertent haikus there, written in ALL CAPS.) Imagine my delight, then, at finding this today, courtesy of Heath:

O prudent men of Catholic faith
Cease from your plaint of wrong
And save up all your vitriol
For wicked Bishop Spong

Who, Wednesday come, at half past sept,
Will preach upon your grounds
His déclassée apostasy
In pleasant but vain sounds.

If you would please our Lord above,
Forget the “art” they ran,
(Which does but show that Christ was here,
Both fully God and man.)

Instead but love our Mother Church,
Reject Spong’s heresy,
Hearken to our Lord Cantuar,
(Archbish, M.Phil, Div.D)

Déclassé apostate that I am, I have no idea what he’s talking about, but somebody please give that man a medal.

  1. Heath says:

    Glad I could add some meter to the discussion for you. After spending last weekend processing through Belgravia behind ++Rowan and an icon of our Lady I’m not sure why I’m coming back to a school where Spong (who doesn’t even believe that bishops should have palaces and thrones) is invited to give lectures.

    Still, it does mean I can go to Rennies twice a day. General Order number one is getting on my nerves.

  2. Secret Bear says:

    Bishop Spong is also speaking at the University of Oregon campus Wednesday. Just FYI. Well-timed reference, Heath.

  3. Ryan Ositis says:

    Bishop Spong is a liberal Episcopalian bishop whose take on the Bible is much more metaphorical than many of his collegues. He has been the source of much controversy for his willingness to ordain homosexuals into the priesthood.

  4. Matt says:

    Beautifully done. In fact, absolutely brilliant. And to think the Insurgent controversy could actually inspire genius after all.

    This poem may just have been the highlight of my day. Which, of course, also doesn’t say much about my having a life… but I loved it anyway. Esp. the “fully god and man.” Just a riot. Oops?

  5. Sho says:

    Not only did it rhyme, but it was also in ballad meter (which was my suggestion). Additionally, the subject matter of the poem is relevant seeing how Bishop Spong is the author of this book.

    A medal might be nice, but — knowing where Heath has been for many months — a pitcher or two might be better.

  6. Timothy says:

    That’s excellent.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.