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On Gabe Bradley’s Sweetheart

I’ll say this for ODE Columnist Gabe Bradley: he can write some hilariously awkward columns.

My girlfriend is 10 years older than I am. When we met, she thought I had a boyish charm. Then she found out that it’s not boyishness; it’s just boy. When we go to bars, it’s always a question of whether the bartender is going to see me first and card us or see her first and not card us.

We were hanging out last weekend and she said, “This is totally a Gen-X thing to do.” I would have pointed out that I am a member of Gen-Y, but it can be hard to have a conversation over the ticking of her biological clock.

  1. Gabrielle says:

    Why do we care about his “sugar momma”? This seems a little personal for a column. I couldn’t help but wonder if this wasn’t a sly way of dumping his (tick-tock) older girlfriend.

  2. olly says:

    In other ODE news, alleged sports columnist Shawn Miller’s metamorphosis into Brian Fantana is almost complete:

    Focusing on your arms is the last area of emphasis to lure the ladies. To do this, simply carry the books of any woman who you see walking around the campus. Oh, that’s so sweet. I know it is, and so do the ladies. And don’t just grab ’em: Come up with some clever line when you walk up to the ladies.

    You can’t tell me this isn’t a man who would wear Sex Panther cologne. Stop saying “ladies” over and over again, Miller, for the love of Aroused Jesus.

  3. d says:

    I’ll say this about gabe bradleys articles, they’re the only ones I read the entire way through.

  4. Ian says:

    I rarely find myself interested in other people’s personal lives, but I must say that I’m curious what his girlfriend’s reaction to the column was. Whatever the case, it makes a pretty good companion piece to his earlier Penis Monologues article.

  5. Niedermeyer says:

    It is hard to have a conversation over a ticking biological clock, isn’t it? Its also hard to talk over the roar of a healthy menstrual flow. Damn inconvenient sometimes. Big ups to Bradley for exposing these insidious forms of noise pollution.

  6. Cassie says:

    I was hoping you guys would pick up on this classic Bradley article! My favorite part was “I’ve never had a sugar momma before, but I could get used to it. That’s a two-way street, though. She certainly seems to be growing accustomed to my ‘youthful vigor.'” I think I am going to be sick…

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