The Color of Love
The Daily Emerald’s commentary page has long been known for columnists who, desperate to impress with their “innovative” politics, tie themselves into knots trying to justify a novel take on old issues. In this morning’s column, “Watch out for ‘Jungle Fever'”, Ty Schwoefferman abandons his feuds with TGraf and Bush to try his hand at some more controversial fare, arguing that interracial relationships are a) founded on racist stereotypes and b) doomed to fail because of “negative prejudices (which) exist in the general public’s conscience.” That’s right folks, some of you may have thought that recent increases in mixed-race relationships signified improvement in race relations, but you would have been wrong… so very, very wrong.
Schwoefferman opens his column by comparing attraction to other races to a virus… “It is a common condition for those with no knowledge of self. The virus is spreading rapidly at the University. Beware of its major symptom: An uncontrollable sexual desire for the opposite race.” Um, Ok Ty… if you say so, but please clear some things up for us. For example, what the hell does “opposite race” mean? Were the races paired off into sets of opposites while I was napping? Oh, and what do you mean by “knowledge of self,” and what does it have to do with any of this?
Having established that black people and white people suffer from “an uncontrollable sexual desire for the opposite race,” Schwoefferman goes on to kick up the stereotypes a notch. “(People who date outside their race) will say things such as, ‘I date white women because they are easier than black women,’ ‘I date black men because I want a brown baby,’ or ‘I date white men because they treat me right.’ Of course there are some exceptions to the rule; I myself know of a few relationships that work. The overwhelming majority of these relationships start with questionable logic and little thought about the political implications.” Oh no Ty, surely these are the only reasons to date outside your race… and for the love of god, who EVER thinks of the “political implications” of their relationships?
Having covered the stereotypes held by people in interracial relationships, Schwoefferman continues by disclosing his own prejudices about other people in interracial relationships. “My initial reaction to any interracial couple holding hands is that ‘something isn’t right.’ I can’t help it, but I have a strange uncontrollable reaction to the sight of an interracial couple when I see one. When the couple is in my sight, my mind justifies it with general stereotypes that attempt to explain reason why the two might be together: ‘That black guy is just dating around and it must not be serious,’ ‘It’s about time that she got a white man,’ or ‘That white girl is just dating him for the fashion statement.'” Imagine for a moment if, hypothetically, TGraf or even Ben Lenet had confessed to these mental turdlets in one of their columns… is there any doubt that they would almost immediately be burned in effigy in the Amphitheater for their bigoted, racist comments?
But Schwoefferman is not prejudiced. No, he believes that interracial relationships can work, they simply cannot work in America. Why should the land of the free also be the land of sexual segregation, according to the column? Emmett Till, Birth of a Nation, and the Harold Ford Jr. attack ad, that’s why. A 50 year old hate crime, a 90 year old movie, and a racially charged political ad from Tennessee are all the evidence that Schwoefferman needs to conclude that “In conclusion, I believe that stereotypes in America are so entrenched in our society that I see no way to sustain a true black and white relationship harmoniously.”
I agree that there are stereotypes Ty, problem is, you’re the one perpetuating them. You’re the one who thinks that interracial relationships must be based “uncontrollable sexual attraction for the opposite race” or one of the other equally inane and offensive stereotypes, scattered throughout your column. I recommend you calm down, and rent the movie “Bullworth,” if only to pick up one concept: “White people, black people, brown people, yellow people, get rid of ’em all/ All we need is a voluntary, free spirited, open-ended program of procreative racial deconstruction/ Everybody just gotta keep fuckin’ everybody til they’re all the same color.”
